Yusuke the Detective
by JapanCat
Summary: Spoof of a detective story. So what happens when Yusuke has to solve loony cases? Insanity and out of characterness. That's what.
1. Hiei's Katana

Hi! It's JC here! We're at the root of all insanity...This fanfic is a spoof of a detective story just so you now. I'm sad because I can't put script here. That's the orginal idea for this but oh well...

Also here's a reference note...

_This means there's a voice over._  
This is just normal stuff.  
"speech"  
'thought'

I also refuse to continuously put disclaimers in each chapter. So here's the one and only...

Disclaimer: I don't own Yuyu Hakusho so quit nagging about it.

_**Yusuke the Detective**__** By Japan Cat**_  
Case 1 : Hiei's Katana

_I'm Urameshi. Yusuke urameshi, a detective. So there I was-- sitting in my office enjoying lunch._

Yusuke screamed, "What hell is this! It's...It's alive!" He stabbed the jell-o to make it stop moving. "Die beast!"

_There was my partner in crime-- Shuichi Minamino or Kurama, as we know him. he's a retired thief. That's what makes him a good partner-- he has the mind of a criminal master mind._

Kurama blinked. "Wait...Yusuke, what the hell? I'm not a retired thief! You bastard! Is that all I was to you!"

Hiei suddenly ran in, panting.

_That was when she came. She had long silky blond hair and..._

Hiei blinked."The ceiling...It talks...Yusuke I need your help!"

"State your name," Yusuke commanded. He pointed at Hiei accusingly.

"You know my name, you ass!"

Yusuke held a gun to Hiei's head. "State it bitch!"

_Her name was Debbie Moore._

"Whatever Yusuke and your damn ghosts in the ceiling! Grr... Fine, my name is Hiei! Hiei!"

_Hiei what's-his-last-name. A partner of Kurama's when he was a thief. He was probably on a break after stealing candy from little kids and stores._

"We never stole candy!" Kurama growled. "Besides, we only stole something that one time!"

"I'm seriously in big trouble! I lost my sword!" Hiei cried.

_Hiei lost his sword. That's when it came to me-- my apple pie was crumbly._

"So tell me, Hiei. Why would you need a sword in Japan in this era?" Yusuke asked smugly.

"I kill demons," Hiei sighed.

"What, are you Buffy all of a sudden!"

"I don't slay vampires, you idiot!"

"So where was the last place you saw it?" Kurama asked, pulling out a notepad. From where, I have no freaking clue.

_I glanced at Hiei for a second when I realized Hiei wasn't wearing pants!_

"On my pants," Hiei sighed again.

"Oh ho ho! A pants thief, eh?" Yusuke laughed.

Kurama sweat dropped. "Where was the last place you saw your pants, dare I ask?"

"I was wearing them," Hiei replied blandly. "Where else would they be?!"

"Ha! So someone decided that it'd be funny to pull your pants down and steal your sword! Case closed! Class dismissed!" Yusuke responded.

"Not exactly, Yusuke," Kurama replied.

"I still don't have my sword back...Or my pants," Hiei added.

"Well, get a new sword and new pants. God knows how long you needed to change your clothes and bathe..." Yusuke growled. "I mean, you've only changed your clothes once during this whole frickin anime!"

Hiei's eyes got teary. "No..."

"What!"

"I've had those pants as long as I can remember..." Insert flashback revealing a baby Hiei. "It's the same with my sword!" Insert same flashback.

"Whatever!"

Hiei looked at him with puppy eyes.

"Fine! Just don't give me that look again!" Yusuke shuttered.

**A few minutes later...**

_So there we were at the scene of the crime._

"Okay, so the culprits are...Hiei, Kurama..." Yusuke was interrupted.

"I'm the victim. Why would I be a suspect?" Hiei asked.

"I was with you the whole time, how could I have stolen Hiei's pants?" Kurama added.

"I learned not to trust a retired thief," Yusuke replied. "They are crafty people..." Eye shift.

"I learned Homie don't play that," Hiei added.

"Right... According to that guy over there, the rest of the suspects are Karasu, Jin, Suzaku, and Yukina. It's a wonder why he doesn't know the thief."

_Just after these interviews, we would have a case solved. Victory was so close I could taste it._

"Yusuke, stop licking my ear," Kurama growled.

"Sorry..." Yusuke laughed.

**Karasu**

_Ah,Karasu...The Michael Jackson of the Demon Plane..._

"Whatever!" Karasu spat. "Who are you and why are you dressed funny?"

"I'm Urameshi. Yusuke Urameshi. So why did you steal Hiei's sword?...And his pants?"Yusuke asked.

"Why would I do that? It's all Jin's fault!"

"Just answer the question bitch!"

"I didn't steal anything from the crazy little man! Ask Jin. He was laughing about something earlier. Never mind the fact that we've never met!"

"Sounds like the truth," Kurama said.

"To Jin then!" Yusuke cheered.

**Jin**

_There was Jin. He seemed innocent._

Jin was standing over a hole, a butterfly net in his hands. "Come out you bastard...I dare you..."

"Yo," Yusuke greeted.

"Come on..."

"Yo!"

"Get out damn you!"

"HEY DAMMIT!" He whacked him on the head with a frying pan."So Karasu says you stole Hiei's sword... And his pants."

"I would have stolen it if he never pulled out a bat and beat me with it!"

"So what would you do if you got that sword?"

"I would kill that damn _Lucky Charms _leprechaun for stealing my idea!"

Kurama sweat dropped. "Do I have to write that in the notes?"

Yusuke sighed. "No."

"Ask Suzaku. He was satisfied about something," Jin suggested.

Yusuke sighed again. "To Suzaku."

**Suzaku**

_Now we're meeting with Saint Beasts. Great. And Jin was right, he was satisfied._

"So Suzaku, you're jolly today. Is it because you stole Hiei's pants?" Yusuke asked.

"No, I don't like his pants. Black sucks. Red rocks." Suzaku replied.

"Rock on!" Kurama cheered earning himself blank stares. "What? It's my favorite color."

"So why are you happy?" Hiei asked. Raised eyebrow.

"Well...I got tickets to a (insert random band's name here) concert!" Suzaku swooned.

"I have officially heard too much."

"Now we know who the thief was!" Yusuke announced. "Now I taste victory!"

"Stop licking my ear," Suzaku growled, looking disturbed.

"I thought you were passed out."

"Oh yeah." Swoon.

**Yukina**

_Our last possible culprit--Yukina, Hiei's sister. Is it possible that she stole Hiei's sword?_

Yukina was playing with animals.

"Hey, Yukina. We have a question for you," Yusuke commented. A squirrel attacked him. "AIEE! GETITOFF!"

"Is it true that you stole Hiei's sword?" Kurama asked.

"No, of course not!" Yukina cried. Waves arms around.

"So why are you holding a sword behind your back?"

She looked at the sword."Mine!"

"But that's my sword..." Hiei whined.

"No it's mine!" Yukina repeated.

"Mine!"

"Mine!"

They both started fighting.

"So is it safe to say case closed now?" Kurama asked.

"That's right, Kurama. Hiei found the thief, but it's not my job to get his stuff for him. Let's be glad Karasu wasn't the thief," Yusuke responded. He added under his breath, "The pedo."

"That's right! 'Cause Homie don't play that." Pause. "Wait, what was that last part?"

"Nothing!"

_And I still don't know what happened that day, and for that matter, how Hiei got his sword and pants back. Or why Yukina even stole that stuff. It shall forever remain a mystery._

**End Case 1**

Hope you all enjoyed! Please review! Flames are accepted so fire on the screen! See you in chapter 2!

**Late note: Welcome back. You're probably wondering what just happened right now... Well... I came back to this fic and decided I needed to work on my spelling and take out pointless author's notes. Cause really. We don't need those. I added a bit more stuff here and there but I pretty much left this the way it was. So... Anyway move on then.**


	2. Keiko and Puu

Murrh... I lack anything to say... Meh... I wonder if anyone will notice the changes... Man I'm a paranoid person... Well welcome back if you've been here before and hell if this is your first time running in on this chapter... Which I kinda doubt but hell, you never know. How long has it been since I came to this fanfic anyway? A year? Two? I started in the seventh grade and I'm in the ninth grade right now. So the paper version (I wrote this on binder paper before starting this on the website.) has been sitting two years just about and this version has been... Well two years since it began I think. I think it's been a year since its end. I never thought about it. And by now you should have noticed I using this just to make this chapter look longer and wordier than it really is. But hey, I'm in IB and that teaches you the fine art of BSing your teachers in their long ass essays they assign. Meh. Anyway... On with the show... Fanfic... Thing.

_This means there's a voiceover.  
_This is normal stuff.  
"This is speech obviously."  
'This is thought. Which hardly ever happens.'

**Yusuke the Detective**

Case 2: Keiko and Puu

_It was a boiling summer day that made my head burn. It's a day like this that makes me hate having black hair._

Yusuke screamed, "AUGH! My head burns!" He dunked his head into a sink of cold water.

_The AC was broken and my partner wasn't helping me fix it._

Kurama was in an ice chest, sleeping.

"Kurama while you're in there could you get me some ice cubes? The water's starting to warm up," Yusuke said.

"My ice!" Kurama hissed.

"Don't make me-"

_That was when she came._

Keiko ran in."Yusuke!"

_Keiko Yukimura. A friend of mine since we were little kids. Now, we're really good friends and..._

"Admit it, Yusuke. She's your girlfriend!" Kurama taunted.

"Shut it, fox boy! I'll lock you in that ice chest if you go on," Yusuke growled.

"Hm... Well, it is pretty comfy in here..."

"Get out."

"No..." Pout, pout. "Don't you know it's bad for old people to get from different temperatures quickly because it can kill them?"

"Get over it! Besides, you're only fifteen!"

"I have a thousand year old fox demon living in my body if that counts for anything..."

"Whatever." And he said to Keiko,"State your name."

"But you know my name," Keiko growled.

"Just state it!" Yusuke held a gun to her head.

Keiko slapped him.

Kurama came out of the ice chest. "Rock on, Keiko! So what's wrong?"

'That's my line you bastard...' a recovering Yusuke thought.

"Well, I lost Puu!" Keiko cried.

"You lost _what_!" Yusuke laughed.

"Let's try to be mature, Yusuke," Kurama sighed.

"Right... So how can you lose Puu?" Yusuke asked.

"I dunno, but he's gone!" Keiko replied.

"Did anyone come to your house?" Kurama asked.

"I was at Yusuke's house to tell him to go to summer school but then I remembered I forgot a book there."

"So how does Puu fit into all this?"

"Well, it was like this..."

**Flashback**

"Yusuke, Get over here! You need to go to summer school! Do you _really_ want _Iwamoto_ twice in a row?"

Puu flew to Keiko."Puu!"

"Hey, Puu! I bet Yusuke didn't feed you! I'll just get my book and I'll get you something to eat!" She went to the next room.

"Puu? PUUUUUUUUU!"

"!" Keiko ran back in. "Puu? Where'd you go?"

**End Flashback**

"You sure he didn't run away?" Yusuke asked smugly.

Keiko wacked him with a suddenly-exsisting bat. "The windows and doors were closed and so was the door!"

"The only people that could have done this were you, mom, and the monkey in my closet."

"Yusuke, didn't anyone ever tell you that there's no monkey in your closet?"

"No, there is a monkey in there! It's been there since... Last night!"

"I have Narnia in mine! It gets pretty noisey in there..." Kurama added.

"It doesn't matter what's in your closets! We need to find Puu!" Keiko waved her arms around like she was trying to fly or something.

"Look in the toilet," Yusuke replied.

"Let's be mature, Yusuke. We're on the case!" Kurama replied.

**Urameshi Apartment**

_So here we are at the scene of the crime. I still suggest looking in the toilet._

"Yusuke!" Keiko growled.

"Hm... It could be possible..." Kurama replied.

"And you told me to be mature!" Yusuke spat as he opened his closet. "There's... Nothing here."

"Told you," Keiko said.

"...Would your mother really kidnap Puu?" Kurama asked. "Keiko's the witness so there's no real culprit."

"Whoa... Are you sure that you're the detective, Yusuke? Kurama seems to be doing all the tthinking."

"That's what I think sometimes..."

Yusuke walked out. "I gotta do something."

"This'll take an hour," Kurama sighed.

"Do you think students should get an extra two minutes to get to class?" Keiko asked just to amke a completely pointless conversation that has absolutely nothing to do with the nonexisting plot whatsoever.

"No, it's your fault if you're late."

"What if you have to go to the bathroom?"

"Who would take that long?"

"What if it's number two? I know people who take a long time... Other than Yusuke."

Hiei came out of nowhere."My sister takes an hour!" He ran out.

"That was pointless."

Yusuke screamed and ran into the room.

"What's wrong?" Keiko asked.

"Don't say someone didn't flush," Kurama added.

"Puu was in the toilet!" Yusuke cried.

Puu flew in. "Puu!"

"What was he doing in there?" Kurama asked.

"Puu!" Keiko hugged him."Eww! you're all wet."

_And still to this day no one can figure out how Puu got into the toilet. Well, like how hiei got his sword and pants back, this will remain a mystery in... The X-files._

Kurama sweatdropped,"That was lame."

**End Case 2**

**By the way, to continue from my note from the last chapter... I'm replacing my whining with something meaningful. Cause reading that was freaking annoying for me too... And I feel stupid remembering it. Good thing I got smarter.**


	3. Shiori's Garfield

Yeah... Crazy stuff here... Anyone noticed how I lied when I said I'd put something meaningful here? But just you wait. I will... I will... But here's a random thought for the kids at home! Kurama visited his cousin's brother's sister's uncle's father's son's daughter's aunt's friend's friends's sister's brother's cousin's uncle's grandfather's brother's son's daughter's brother's sister's mother's father's doctor's chiropractor's uncle' s veteranarian's dog's owners' sister. Who was this? And the million dollar question: What is the average velocity of an unladen swallow?

_Voice over  
_Normal stufff  
"Speech"  
'Thought'

See the first chapter for the damn disclaimer! I dunno why I have to put it there because Togashi would never write a fanfic when he could draw it and get paid for it. If he did, he would never go on saying that he's a fifteen year old girl that can't spell for crap! But I should note that I don't own Garfield.

**Yusuke the Detective**

Case 4: Shiori's Garfield

_So me and Kurama were eating lunch, which I should note Kurama made this time cause his cooking kicks ass, when a case began._

Shiori ran in. "Waah! Shuichi!" She sobbed heavily.

"What's wrong, Mother?" Kurama asked being the wonderful concered son that he is.

"Someone..." Sniff. "Someone..." Sniff. "Someone stole my Garfield with the suction cup feet!" Melodramatic sobbing.

O.O_ Sounds like she cares more about her Garfield than her Shuichi/ Kurama/ Youko/whatever else he's called..._

"No! I don't know what I'd do if I lost my Shuichi...s. Waah! And then I will lose you one day when you get married!" Shiori sobbed harder. She then hugged Kurama.

A random sound effect was heard. "Aww..." Insert shojo manga flower background.

_Actually, come to think of it I wouldn't know what'd I do if I lost my Garfield with the suction cup feet... And why don't _I_ get a cool sound effect and a nice background!_

"We're on the case!" Yusuke announced. "...What's with the flowers?"

**Minamino House**

Shuichi blinked. "What's wrong with _her_?"

"Someone stole her Garfield," Kurama replied somberly like it was the end of the world.

"Someone _what_! Who would steal her Garfield with the suction cup feet!"

Hiei randomly came in despite the fact that he would never walk in Kurama's front door and contrary to popular belief, never really comes to his house. "What's happening?"

"I've got it! Hiei stole your Garfield!" Yusuke held a gun to Hiei's head. "Give it back."

O.O Deer in the headlights look.

"You heard me. Give Shiori her damn Garfield back, bitch!"

"...Wow... I wouldn't know what'd I'd do if someone stole my Garfield with the suction cup feet..." Hiei went into the corner and sucked his thumb.

O.o Yusuke whispered,"Okay, Kurama, remind me to steal his Garfield later..."

Kurama blinked. "Okay..."

_So it has to be one of the two to think of it, if Shiori yelled out "Shuichi" which one would come down the stairs? Or would they both come down? I bet thet go down the street and say:"Hey, Shuichi! How ya doin' Shuichi?"_

_"I'm fine, Shuichi! How 'bout you Shuichi?"_

_"Great Shuichi! What do you want to do, Shuichi?"_

_"I dunno. What do you want to do Shuichi?"_

"How do you know it wasn't really my step-dad?" Kurama asked.

"Because he's not evil enough to do it!" Yusuke explained. "It's all pure detective logic to know who's evil and who isn't. There's you and Shuichi and, well, the list goes on. Hiei, you're not feeling evil today so you get an ice cream!"

"Yay!" Hiei cheered. He swallowed the ice cream in one huge gulp and then his head started hurting brain freeze but he was okay with it... Somehow.

"Aww... You're so cute..." Yusuke hugged Hiei. "And you finally get a chance to call it ice cream instead of sweet snow!"

Everyone stared in shock. (Except Hiei, who was happy-go-lucky at the moment.) Shiori fainted.

"I didn't mean it like that! Stupid people and their stupid slash fics and their... Jelly beans and Ronald Reagan It's Shuichi- little Shuichi. A real easy case." Yusuke nodded to himself. "Yup, yup."

"Why would I steal the stupid thing?" Shuichi growled.

"You think it's stupid, huh? Well, let's see how you feel when I steal Hiei's Garfield!"

Hiei's eyes grew teary. "No..." He started to cry.

"So what now, bitch?" Yusuke asked triamphantly.

Evil aura. Shuichi cursed enough to make a sailor blush.

**---Please excuse this moment while Shuichi gets lectured by Kurama.**

**Intermission (Insert happy little jiggle here.)**

"Buy a snack. Perhaps a car-bo-nated so-da?" Yusuke suggested.

"I hope they have icees!" Kurama said in a high pitched voice.

"My nipples look like milk duds!" Hiei commented. (I can't believe I just wrote that!)

**End Intermission (End happy little jiggle.)**

"No dessert for you, young man!" Kurama scolded Shuichi. He shook his finger at him.

Shuichi threw a biology book and walked away. Evil aura, evil aura.

"Yeah, you better go to your room! I hope Michael Jackson goes up there! ...What a punk ass bitch. Stealing Mother's Garfield with the little suction cup feet."

"Well, now we can say case closed!" Yusuke sighed.

**10:00 P.M.**

Kurama pulled out Garfield from under his bed.

"Garfield sucks," Kurama growled. "In my fridge stealing my foodz and stealing my tree and blocking my drainage and biting my stepbrother..."

He threw the stuffed cat out the window.

**End Case 3**

If you watched _Kung Pow!_ (I should also mention I don't own that!), you know what I'm talking about. Anything mentioned there I don't own. And the last line Kuram,a said was a reference to the lol cats picture. You can find them in photobucket under caturday. And the Ronald Reagan line was some refence to our ex-president's great love of jelly beans. Enough said.

See ya in chapter 4!

DON'T STOP BELIEVIN'! Hold on to that feeling!


	4. Kurama's chia pet

Hello and welcome to chapter four. Uh... Yeah. I lack things to say here this time. I usually have something really witty to say (or I like to think so) but not now. I always have something to say but not now... But I do hate how cookie monster became healthy monster. But that my dear children is a rant I'll save for another day. So go on with this.

_voiceover  
_normal stuff  
"speech"  
'thought'  
**new scene**

See chapter 1 before you nag about the disclaimer again. But however, I should note that I don't own Chia pets. I am not the one who loves my Chia pet. I am the dumb ass that sets it on fire and asks my mom for another.

**Yusuke the Detective**

Case 4: Kurama's Chia Pet

_It was a bright summer morning. And I was in my office... With no partner... With nothing to do... Just me and no one else..._

Kurama bursted into the room and whimpered, "Yusuke!" Heavy sobbing.

"Geez, Kurama! Give me a heart attack, why don'cha!" Yusuke gasped.

"But you don't get it! I lost something!"

"You're the smart one! Find it yourself!"

"You're the detective."

"Ohh... You got me there... And that _does _make me feel really important and superior despite the fact that I'm the main character and get all the attention..."

"And even if I could, why would I be here?"

"Because you're a lazy old fox and that's why you're a retired thief."

"You've got a point there. But honestly, I can't find it..." Melodramatic sobbing. "Oh woe is me! My life is about to end!"

"Ugh... Fine, I'm on the case. So what'd you lose?"

"A... A... A chia pet!"

"Your _what_!"

"My chia pet!"

"Why the hell would someone wanna steal that!"

"Because they're a bastard! I'm wanna blow some heads in!" He kicked a table in half.

"Wow Kurama! You're the best!"

Kurama tugged on Yusuke's shirt. "Help me...? I'll bake you cookies..."

_Couldn't argue with that..._

Sigh. "On to suspect one then..."

**Hiei**

"Why must you torment me like this?" Hiei, who was tied to a chair in this dark room in some random place in a random park in Tokyo, growled.

"Shut up. Tell us what you did with Kurtama's chia pet," Yusuke growled back.

"I shoved it up my ass."

"You _what_! Sick!"

"I didn't steal it."

"Tell us or your Garfield with the suction cup feet will pay..." Yusuke held the stuffed cat up.

"NO! Don't hurt Garfield!"

"Then, where's the chia pet?"

"I gave it to Karasu! Just don't hurt Garfield!"

"Can I hurt you?" Kurama asked Hiei.

"Sure whatever!" Hiei yelped.

WHACK! "You dumb ass! Steal my chia pet..." Grumble, grumble. "Give it to Karasu..." Grumble, grumble. "Never mind the fact that this kind of stuff never bothers me!"

**Karasu**

"Yeah Hiei gave me it. No I don't have it," Karasu replied crossing his arms and death glaring them.

"So where is it?" Yusuke asked.

"I'm not telling..." Karasu said with a smug look.

"Kurama, turn on the hose."

Kurama barely turned the faucet so the hose would start dripping water.

Drip, drip, drip...

"We'll do this all day if we have to," Yusuke commented.

_It felt like the whole day. Each second made me feel like my life was being drained... My soul felt like an hour glass, each grain of sand slipping out of my hands, between my fingers as I stood in this dark dungeon of a room..._

"Dude, only two minutes passed," Kurama said. "Wait... Did I just say dude? I said it again!"

_Karasu showed signs that my torture was working..._

"Can I go to the bathroom?" Karasu whined.

"No, not until you tell us where Kurama's chia pet is," Yusuke replied smugly.

"Not even for a minute?"

"Not _even_ a _second_."

Whimper. "Fine, I gave it to Koenma!"

"Ugh, Kurama, let's go." The two walked out.

"Wait, you're not going to untie me! I seriouly gotta go to the bathroom! ...Anyone? ...Help?" Four panels, lone tear. "I'm so unloved..."

**Koenma**

"I wish I did have it but Botan told me to give it to Kuwabara," Koenma replied.

"And _why_ did she tell you to do that?"

"She said it smelled like him. Then I wondered how she knew that. It's a conspiracy!"

"Hey, don't be hating Aya!" Kurama growled shacking his fist. "I bathed him regularly!"

'He named his chia pet?' Koenma and Yusuke thought. 'And give it baths?"

**Kuwabara**

"Now if you don't tell us where Kurama's chia pet is, Eikichi will..." Yusuke looked at the toothpick he held to the kitten's neck. "... Get a series of splinters."

"No! Don't do it! Okay,okay,okay! I gave it to Yukina but she didn't want it! So I gave it to some kid named Shuichi!" Kuwabara yelped.

"My step brother. Man, I am going to murder that punk," Kurama growled as he stomped out.

"Can I have Eikichi back?" Kuwabara asked.

"Sure," Yusuke said and threw the cat out the window.

**Shuichi**

"Uhhh... Shuichi, you're not seriously gonna fire that gun you're holding to my head are you?" Shuichi whimpered.

"Not if you give my chia pet back," Kurama answered.

"Um, it's in my closet."

Yusuke pulled it out. O.O

"Why's it burnt?" he asked.

"That's what it was like when that gorilla gave me it!"

"Aya..." Kurama's eyes grew teary. Buit then he threw it out the window. "Oh, well! I have ten others!"

"All that... For nothing!" Yusuke screamed. "I wanna blow some heads in!" He kicked a table in half.

"Wow Yusuke! You're the best!" Kurama and Shuichi said at the same time.

"So... Who burned it...?" Shuichi asked.

"Don't know, don't care." Yusuke walked out of the room.

**Meanwhile Hiei...**

"Heh, another chia pet to torture. Why does Kurama bother?" Hiei laughed to himself.

_And in no time Kurama went through the next five... Then six... Then seven were gone... And this quickly went to the last one. Sigh. Neither one of us know what happened. But we blame Shuichi just to pick on him. Until this question is answered, we have yet another file in the... X- files!_

**End case 4**

I made some references to the Silent Hill 3 UFO ending. Just the "I wanna blow some heads in!" "Wow (name) You're the greatest!" Or that's how I remember it... Yeah. You'll notice later that I am a huge Silent Hill fan. Well, a fan of the video games but not the movie. I obly watched it for Pyramid Head. I could have gone without that barbed wire rape at the end thankyou very much!

Review please!


	5. Kuronue's necklace

...Somehow, something tells me this fic may never end. Hmm... I still gotta figure out what Yusuke's x-files are. I don't mean the show either!

_voicer over_

normal stuff

"speech" (of couse!)

'thought'

**new scene**

This makes reference to the Yuyu Hakusho movie (I belive it's the second one...) so if you don't know who Kuronue is, just treat him like an original character.

**Yusuke the Detecive**

Case 5: Kuronue's Necklace (Or whatever it is that he carries around)

_Once aagain it was a day without cases. And once again, my partner locked himself in an ice chest. It's a mystery how he can fit in that thing._

Kurama was, like Yusuke said, in the ice chest, asleep.

_That was when _he _(lightning flash) came..._

"I want a cookie!" But when Yusuke lifted the jar's lid...

...Kuronue suddenly appeared out of it and cried, "HELP!" with teary eyes.

"HOLY CRAP!" Yusuke gasped.

Kurama suddenly woke up.

"Wha...?" He saw Kuronue. "I thought you dead!"

"But I can't rest in peace with _it_ missing!" Kuronue whined.

Yusuke slammed the lid back on the cookie jar. "Forget it!"

Kuronue camed out of Yusuke's hat. "But..."

"What's your name again?"

"It's Kuronue. Wait..." Tears of joy. "You're gonna do my case? Hooray!" (hearts, flowers, teddy bears, sunshine)

"No, Kuronue, this conversation is over so get the hell out."

"But...!"

"Over! Now get out dammit!"

**Ten minutes later (In the bathroom)**

Kronue came out of the toilet.

"Kurama!" Kuronue cheered. "Wait, that is your name right?"

Kurama nodded. _Ba-dump... Ba-dump... Ba-dump..._went his heart.

"Yay! So..."

"If Yusuke said no, why would I say yes in _here_!"

Meanwhile, Hiei is washing his hands while, for some unknown reason, listening to this.

"But, Kurama, how long have we know each other?"

"I dumped you when I was Youko! Don't make me have to do it again!"

'I didn't know Kurama was like that!' Hiei thought.

"But... But I lost my necklace/ charm/ whatever I carry around!" Sob, sob.

"Just leave it at necklace."

"Whatever! I need you to help me find it!"

"Why me?"

"Cause Yusuke said no!"

"I'm still not convinced."

"But, Kurama, how can you be so heartless! Everytime I go to the bathroom, I am remind that my necklace is gone!" ("Wha...?" Hiei blinked.)

"Okay, okay, okay, okay! Okay! I'll convince Yusuke to do the case if you get out of the toilet."

"Uhh... Do you have to go badly?"

"...Actually yes, I do."

"Uhh... You should go to the next stall. I think I'm kinda stuck..."

"That I can work with..."

**The next day...**

_Somehow, Kurama got me to take the case._

Kurama was hypnotizing Yusuke. "That's why we have to find his necklace so he can rest in piece and stop coming out of toilets..." ("Not my fault..." Kuronue growled.)

"Hmm... Can't argue with that..." Yusuke agreed.

"So you'll do the case?" Kuronue gasped.

"Yeah."

"Hooray!" (Hearts, sunshine, flowers, teddy bears)

"You're gonna have to not do that."

**Two hours later...**

_This was a tough case. I just have made an oganized list of who could have stolen it._

"Who else...?" Yusuke murmured.

The list read:

_**Kurama**_

_**XXXX Hiei**_

_**XXXX**_

_**Shuichi**_

_**-------------**_

_**Youko (hearts)-- Kuronue**_

"That's all that would make sense..." Yusuke sighed.

"Why would Shuichi steal it?" Kurama asked.

"Fine!" He scribbled over Shuichi's name and rewrote the list. "Here! It's the revised list of... Kuronue! Stop taking my pen! where was I...? Oh, yeah! Suspects."

The list now reads:

_**Kurama **_

_**Hiei**_

_**-----------**_

_**Youko (hearts)**_

_**Youko + Kuronue 4ever! --Kuronue**_

"Let's start with Hiei," Yusuke sighed.

"You really do care!" Kuronue cheered.

**Hiei**

"So who's Kuronue?" Hiei asked.

"The guy with the funny hat," Yusuke answered.

"So what made you think I stole his necklace?"

"I have plenty of ideas!"

_My favorite is the one where Hiei is jealous of Kuronue for stealing his gay lover so he took his necklace for revenge. a brilliant motive! I love it!_

"Yusuke, I'll have you know that I'm perfectly straight!"

"Sure..." Eye shift, eye shift.

"Grr... DRAGON OF THE DARKNESS FLAME!"

_That day I learned something about the Dragon of the Darkness Flame. It hurts like crap!_

_That is some rage right there... Anger management _much

Kurama and Kuronue poked Yusuke's horribly charred body.

"Burnt to a crisp..." Kuronue said.

Kurama was suddenly dressed as Tifa From Final Fantasy VII (I don't own!) "Don't do that again. Revive!"

When Yusuke came back to life, he growled, "Okay, Hiei, you've definently made your point! Don't kill me again! That's like the second time I died. I'm still do for the other death that puts me out for good."

"Screw you!" Hiei flipped him off. "I'm going home!" He walked away.

"Geez, what a bitch!"

**Two hours later...**

_That only left Kurama. That was the hardest part of the case-- Kurama's motive. Could it be a lust for shine? ...A shine lust? Man, that sounds retaded..._

"I don't have it!" Kurama growled.

"Pick pocket technique!" Yusuke jumped on Kurama and dug through his pockets. "Found it! What the hell were yopu doing with _this_?"

"Nothing!" Eye twitch.

"What were you doing with it?" Kuronue asked.

Kurama's eye twitched some more. "Uh... Um... Uh.. Okay! It was just so shiny! And... And... That's all I can basically think of..."

"Grr... Damn you!" Yusuke growled.

Kuronue grabbed the necklace. "Thankyou, Youko. Even though this chapter's ending was twisted... Thankyou for letting me rest in peace at last... I will always love..." He disappeared.

"...You."

"Those words deeply touched me. It through my heart and down to my soul. My heart fluttered and warmed because of a love-- a love long forgotten. And for that moment, tears came to my eyes-- they were tears of love. How could I have forgotten such a precious thing-- such a precious person?" Kurama asked himself as if he were talking to Kuronue.

"Kurama, are you feeling okay?" Yusuke asked.

"And if these idle tears do fall to my cheeksand touch the floor to make a shallow pool of memories to breathe at last and see the light of day once more..."

"Kurama, you're scaring me..."

"But I still dumped you Kuronue!"

"Ugh... You dumb ass."

_So we have another case closed. It's really twisted, but hell, it works. No files in the X-files. Case closed and class dissmissed!_

'But remember the way you felt about me Kuronue because the feeling is still here in my memory...' Kurama thought...

**End Case 5**

Notes

1) This fanfic was supposedly taking place at the very beging of Chapter Black But the problem, however is that Shiori and Kurama's stepdad are married even tough this isn't the fall... Doh!

2) I do believe Kurama is straight, but for the stupidity of this fic, I made shounen ai references. Man, I'm an idiot.

Reviews!

Cheetahbabe-Oh, thanks! Don't worry, this'll be goin' on for a long time.

Master-of-the-mustard-- Interseting name. (I don't mean it in a bad way... So don't take it _that _way...) I just thought the humor I've been using was lame...

Thanks a bunch for reviewing you guys! You really made my day! I'm glad you enjoyed!

Please review! I'll give youa cookie if you review! Pyon!


	6. Shishi's Makeup

I have to say that this would have to be one of the weirdest chapters yet. I'll be making references to other anime characters so if you don't know who I'm talking about, just treat them as oringinal characters in whatever way that makes sense.

_Voice over_

normal stuff

"speech"

'thought'

**new scene**

"_emphasized words_" (or some other reason)

I don't own any anime mentioned. (See chapter 1 for YYH disclaimer.)

**Yusuke the Detective**

Case 6: Shishi's Make-up

_Sigh. I finally got out from summer school. And it really sucked._

"Man, how long does summer school last, Kurama?" Yusuke asked.

"Forever, trust me," Kurama answered.

"Ugh. That makes me feel better."

_That was when a case began._

Shishi (A/N:I don't quite remember his whole name, but either way, I'm not typing all that!) burst into the room, looking a lot worse than a Kuwabara who need botox with a bed head.

"Waaah...! Help! My face! My beautiful face!" he cried between sobs.

"!" Kurama fainted at the sight of Shishi.

"AUGH! Shishi, what the hell did you do to your face!" Yusuke gasped.

"You mean what didn't I do to my face! Someone stole my make-up!" Shishi cried.

"You're what?" Kurama asked covering his eyes.

"My make-up! It's what makes my beautiful image! But without it...I'm ...Nothing! I'm as ugly as that disgusting primate Kuwabara!" Teary eyes. "I want to be beautiful again!"

"Well, go the Michael Jackson way. Get plastic surgery. Hopefully you'll still have _your_ nose after that..." Yusuke replied.

"What are you implying?" Shishi growled.

"Uh... Um... Well..."

"Are you saying that I'm ugly either way?" Eye twitch.

'He's gonna kill me, isn't he?' Yusuke sweatdropped.

"I may be ugly out here, but on the inside, I'm as beautiful as a full bloomed rose in a cherry blossom storm! And with make-up I will always fufill my destiny- to be more beautiful than Suzuka, no Sesshomaru, Ryuichi Sakuma, Kiba, Eiri Yuki, and maybe even Sailor Moon...!" He held a clutched fist.

"Alrighty then," Kurama responded.

"But, without make-up, my destiny will be unfufilled forever, just as I will be ugly forever!" Shishi put a paper bag over his head.

"You gotta admit, Kurama, he's got a point," Yusuke said.

"Don't worry, Shishi. We're on the case!" Kurama said. "Then, you can be 'beautiful' again! After that, everybody'll forget that damn Britany Spears! You'll be comparable to Count D, Ranef, Yuki Sohma, Koryu, Nozomu, Misoka, Edeward Elric, and lemme think... No, not Taki Aizawa... I know! Hiroshi Nakano!"

"Gee, thanks!" Shishi smiled. "Wait, I wasn't before! Just because you're beautful like Eiri Yuki! I bet it was that disgusting Kuwabara who stole it!"

Hiei shuffled in with a big suitcase.

"Hiei! You scruffy fiend!" Shishi pointed a finger. "I bet you stole my make-up!"

"I don't know what you're talking about..." He started to scurry away.

Yusuke grabbed his shoulder. "So what's with the beg suitcase?"

"Ehh...? This?" Hiei held it up. "I'm carrying something. That's it's purpose in life, right?"

"Like what? Shishi's make-up, perhaps?"

"Why would I take that?" Awkward silence.

"You have to admit he's got a point..." Kurama said.

"So if you don't mind..." Hiei continued walking. "You can't get enough of terrorizing me, huh?"

_Something didn't feel right..._

"I'm not a lie detector or anything, but Hiei, I'm gonna need to check your bag," Yusuke said.

"! Uh, why?" Hiei asked nervously.

He grabbed the suitcase. "Lemme see what you're hiding..."

"ACK! Don't..."

Yusuke opened the suitcase to reveal...

...That the suitcase was filled with dirty magizines.

Kurama was speechless. Shishi turned green.

"I was going to say..." Hiei stopped there.

"You're a vile little creature!" Shishi cried.

Somehow, out of randomnes, Keiko, Kuwabara, and Amanuma (or Gamemaster if you don't remember his name...) appeared. Keiko glared at Hiei. Kuwabara needed to be stupid somewhere else. Amanuma started to play video games. Then, more anime characters appeared, making Yusuke's office look like an anime convention.

"Is it me or did this suddenly get off topic?" Yusuke asked.

"...So who would steal your make-up?" Kurama asked.

"I think it was that ugly bastard Chu! ...Him os Suzuka!" Shishi said.

"To Suzuka! Now everybody get the hell out!" Yusuke yelled.

**Suzuka**

"Why would I need make-up?" Suzuka, who is full of crap, asked. "I'm already beautiful. Unlike those ugly bastards Chu and Shishi. Oh, wait, you're right here! Oh ho ho! Well, be glad you're not scruffy like Hiei!"

"You're the ugly bastard!" Shishi growled.

"You need plastic surgery! Anyway, Jin stole your make-up to look like Shuichi Shindo in the Gravitation OVA."

"..." Teary eyes. "Damn him!"

**Jin**

"Make-up? I... I don't have any make-up," Jin said.

"Gimme it, you leprechaun bastard!" Shishi hissed.

"Lep... What did you call me?"

"_Leprechaun bastard_."

"Say that again. I dare you."

"Jin, spit it out! Did you steal Shishi's make-up!" Yusuke growled.

"Yes. Yes I did!" Jin cried.

"Why?"

"Because I wanted to look pretty like Shuichi Shindo in the Gravitation OVA."

"Why did you want to look like him?"

"So I can get that damn '_Lucky Charms_' leprechaun out of the hole!"

"And then you were gonna kill him."

"Damn right I would!"

"Why?"

"So I can get my _'Lucky Charms' _back. They were my idea but _he_ stole it. Now I'm stuck in the mind of amanga artist which got my into some anime for a few episodes and when I finally got more recgnition the anime was like DBZ and trust me that anime sucks!"

"Right... Just give Shishi's make-up back."

"No."

"Give it." Shishi growled pulling the Banshee Shriek out.

"No." Then, the two started fighting.

"Uh.. Let's go." Kurama said.

_I never saw two two for two weeks after that. When we did meet, those two seemed like friends again._

"You missed a spot," Keiko said smugly.

Hei scrubbed the corner she was talking about.

_Keiko punished Hiei for Bringing those dirty magazines. So now he has to scrub the floor with his tooth brush. As for Shishi- we still have a hole in the case. Another file in the X-files._

"Enough with the X-files already! What are they anyway!" Kurama growled.

**End Case 6**

"Hey! Ignoring me! Punk!" Kurama growled.

Hope you enjoyed! ) See you in the next chapter.


	7. Amanuma On Duty!

Okay! Here's chapter 8!

_voiceover 1_

voice over 2 (To be explained... Or will it?)

normal stuff

"speech"

'thought'

**new scene**

_"Emphasized words"_

See chapter one for disclaimer.

**Yusuke the Detective**

Case 7: Amanuma (Or Gamemaster) On Duty

_I was preparing to take off. Hopefully, no cases would come up..._

Yusuke sat on his suit case to close it. "Geez, Kurama, quit nagging. If I didn't know better, I'd think Keiko was here."

"Yeah, but..." Kurama didn't finish his sentence.

"But _what_? Look, you're not gonna be alone if that's the problem. I have someone on duty for any cases that come up while I'm gone and nope, it's not Hiei. The little bastard wouldn't pick up the phone."

**Flashback**

The phone rang and Hiei went to answer it. He first looked at the caller ID and saw that it was Yusuke. He whimpered and went under the bed.

"Leave me alone!" he cried.

**End Flashback**

"So I have to deal with Kuwabara." There was a tone of bitterness in Kurama's voice.

"No the dumb ass hung up on me."

**Flashback**

The phone rang and Kuwabara answered it. The problem was he held it upside-down.

"Hello? ...Hello? ...Eh? Anyone there? Hello? Answer me damn you! ...Fine asshole!" Kuwabara hung up.

**End Flashback**

"So who do I have to work with?"

"Well, um..."

Amanuma walked into the room and saluted everyone.

"...Detective What's-his-first-name Amanuma AKA Gamemaster. ...I Should've picked Botan, though." Yusuke said.

"Are you sure he can handle the pressure?" Kurama asked.

"You do all the work anyway. 'Kay. Well, good luck to you then."

_It kinda felt like this..._

_**Alternate scene**_

_"Okay, Kurama! Take care of the house while I'm gone! ...And the kids," Yusuke cried._

_Kurama, who was dressed like a sterotypical house wife, rerplied,"Okay, honey!" Smooch!_

_**End Alternate scene**_

_On second thought, I'd rather not think like that. Eww!_

Yusuke left. (insert crickets chirping)

"So, Amanuma, you get to do the voice over," Kurama said.

That's a scary thought... Wait... Augh! You people can hear what I'm thinking! Stalkers!

Hiei walked in the room. "You have a case."

"Okay, Amanuma, let's go!" Kurama cheered.

"Yay!" He hopped out of the chair he was randomly sat in.

**Crime scene**

"Okay, this guy was stabbed in the back. The possible culprits are Jared Takayami, Shuichi Sami, and Noriko Sakamoto," Hiei explained. (...I couldn't think of good random names.)

"I bet it was Shuichi Sami," Amanuma said.

"Yeah, it was him," Jared Takayami said, his eye twitching and a knife behind his back.

"Yeah, but..." Kurama began.

"Who's the detective around here?" Amanuma growled.

"Uh... You?"

"Who's taking notes?"

"Uh... Me?"

"Who's the officer?"

"I dunno."

Hiei pointed to himself. "Me."

"Exactly," Amanuma said smugly.

"Yeah, but..." Kurama was once again ignored.

"I'm the detective, you're the note taker, Hiei's the officer, that's a chair, that's a lamp, you have boobies."

"You punk!" Noriko growled.

"Let's stay calm Noriko..." Shuichi said.

"So, Jared, why are you holding a knife behind your back?" Hiei asked.

"...Shuichi made me hold it," he began to sweat.

"You're the murderer. I know it. It's also written all over your face! Ha! No, really," Amanuma said.

**Meanwhile on the roof...**

"Wow... That took him a while..."

"Hey, get the hell off there!" a random guy threw a rock.

"Ow!" The person fell off the roof.

"I'm not getting you."

**When our three friend got back...**

"You did good for your first case!" Kurama cheered.

"Yeah I guess you did good," Hiei sighed.

What a sour puss.

"Punk!" Hiei flipped him off.

The little detective fipped him off.

Flips off.

Flips off.

They started a flipping off war thing. Koenma walked by and fipped them off only to be flipped off by the two, who continued their... Arguement? (If that's what I want to call it...)

"I'm the only sane one here... It gets lonely..." Kurama sighed.

Kuwabara burst into the room. "Waaah! Help! The world is gonna end! I need a detective!"

"I'm ready for the case!" Amanuma replied.

"You? But you're a little shrimp boat! You're smaller than Hiei!"

Amanuma kicked him in the shins.

"Yusuke's out. Amanuma's his replacement and will be at your service as wrong as that may sound."

"Am I a servant now?"

"Look, you guys gotta help! I lost Eikichi!" Kuwahbara cried between sobs.

"Who?" Hiei asked.

"My kitten, stupid! And they left a note!"

The note read:

_Ko Ka Ge Bo Yu Ki_

_-**Detective Yu.**_

_Yu Mi Ke Ka Sh Ya_

**To be continued...**

**End Case 7**

Ha! Cliffie!

Review time!

Ookami Aya-- Yup! That's the point!

Thanks for reviewing!

Heh, I'm a bad girl. I never watched the end so I still can't post that other fic. Heh!

Please review! Flames are still accepted if you guys who hate the fic with a passion want to step forward, although the quetion is why are you still here? O.O Stalking?

REVIEW! DON'T STOP BELIEVIN' !


	8. Eikichi Part 1

Sorry for the wait. Long chappie to make up for it!

voice over 2

normal stuff

**new scene**

**Yusuke the Detective**

_Case 8: Eikichi Part 1_

"Ko, Sn, Ge, Bo, Yu, Ki, Yu, Mi, Ke, Ka, Sh, And Ya," Kurama read off the note.

"But why would I get a note? And who would send it?" Kuwabara asked.

"It was Hiei!" Amanuma said.

"Why would I send it? It says Detective Yu. in the middle," Hiei growled.

"So what is all this? Inicials?" Kuwabara asked.

"Gimme some time to think on this one," Amanuma replied.

"But what if we don't have that time? What if, as we speak, Eikichi is being ground for cat burgers or roasted or baked or turned into cat soup? I won't get any sleep now!"

"I just came up with culprits!" Amanuma cried. "Koko the pudgy fox, Sniper, Genbu, Bozo the clown, Yuki Sohma, Kido, Hiroshi Nakano, Shigure, Kagome Higarashi, Kenny Loggins, Mika Seguchi, and Yuki Kitazawa!"

"How... Interesting..." Kurama responded.

"You mean retarded!" Hiei spat.

"Like you can do better Hiei!"

"Yeah, I can."

"I'll never see Eikichi again..." Kuwabara whined.

"Get another cat!" Hiei growled.

"No! You'll never make me!"

**10 seconds later...**

The three found themselves in a petshop.

"Do I have anything that can interest you?" Count D asked.(I don't own Petshop of Horrors.)

"I'm looking for a cat," Kuwabara said.

"Then, come with me."

"I know get this raccoon," Amanuma suggested.

"Pon-chan's a European badger!" D growled.

"Oh, what about this dog? It's good for your athletic abilities!" Kurama suggested.

"The totetsu?" D asked. "T-chan is..."

"I SAID I WANTED A CAT SO BUG OFF! What is Hiei gonna suggest a goat?" Kuwabara growled.

T-chan's eyes shifted and kicked a leg under a couch.

**Kuwabara House**

"Here's your new house, kitty!" Kuwabara cheered. "I'll name you Luke Skywalker!" Luke jumped on the refridgerator and threw firecrackers. The phone rang and Kurama went to answer it.

"Hey Kurama." It was Yusuke!

'What luck!' Kurama thought as he said. "Oh hi Yusuke! How's your trip?"

"Oh it's great and..."

A vase fell on Kurama's head. "Owie!" There was a lot of noise in the background.

"What're you doing?"

"Uh... A party!"

"What about cases?"

"We just finished one. We're celebrating."

"That's great! I guess I found a good replacement."

"Yeah!" Kurama';s eyes shifted to the action behind him.

"So I'm missing out on anything?"

"Kuwabara got a new cat."

"So Eikichi has a buddy?"

A firecracker hit Kurama's back. "OW! Yusuke, I'm dying..."

"WHA...! KURAMAHEYYOU...!"

"I'm dead..." Kurama hung up.

"I hate you luke!" Kuwabara cried.

"Let's see if Koenma's any help!" Hiei growled. Everybody ran from the evil Luke.

**Koenma**

"You think I _what_!" Koenma growled.

"You heard me!" Kuwabara growled back.

"I hate cats!"

That ink on his arm is proof enough. Botan walked in here just now and dropped Eikichi's tag. More proof. Ten more to go. The next has to be Sniper. Better move.

However Botan threw everybody out first.

**Sniper**

Heh, more proof here. another step.

"Give her back!" Kuwabara growled.

"Cats give me allergies so the suck. I shoot evryone I see when I feel like it," Sniper replied.

"You shoot her! Bastard."

"Never had her so shut up."

Right there. I noticed he had a tear in his jacket. That was the same material at the crime scene. What'd I tell you? Now that I think about it, Hiei was right. Genkai _has_to be the next link to the chain.

"Whatever," Sniper growled.

**Genkai**

"I hate cats. They have nasty tongues," Genkai growled.

"Sure old lady. Why the cat hair then?" Amanuma asked.

"Cats get in here."

"You stole her!" Kuwabara growled.

"No," Genkai said.

"Admit it hag," Hiei growled.

"Master Genkai, The tea is ready! Do you want any?" Yukina asked with a smile.

She had scatches on her wrist. As much as Kuwabara doesn't want to admit it, that is suspicus. Now Kido...

**Kido**

"What, are you retarded? Cats are just balls of turds!" Kido growled.

Kaitou asked as he came in,"What's happening?"

"You guys took my kitten!" Kuwabara growled.

Yanagisawa sighed, "Lay off the latte, man."

Mitarai randomly came in. (That's Seaman for those who don't know. Heh.Seaman.) "?"

Amanuma blinked, "What's that around your wrist, Kido?"

"A watch," He answered nervously.

Her collar. Kaitou has a cat claw, Yana's hair matches that of the ones at the crime scene, and Mitarai has whiskers on his pockets. More names off.

**Kuwabara House**

"Whatta day!" Kuwabara sighed.

Shizuru and Keiko walked by.

"Do you think they solved the case yet?" Keiko whispered.

"Doubt it," Shizuru answered a cat carrier in her hand.

Eikichi's carrier? They're in this. Yu? Can't be Yusuke. He's in Osaka... No idea.

"I'm going!" Amanuma waved.

**Amanuma House**

Amanuma answered the phone. "Hello?"

A deep voice answered. "You're close young detective. You still need the connection. I'll be waiting in 1 Rose 5 Nara 2 Ave. 3 Park 1 o'clock."

_To Be Continued..._

_**End case 8**_

Reviews!

Master-of-the-Mustard-- Yay! I need to come up with more of those too...

Taerga Live-- Yeah now that I yhink about it... Wow, Hiei you were a kid once? How many lives ago?

Sami Kurama's Stalker-- Yeah... DON'T STOP BELIVIN'! HOLD ON TO THAT FEELING! Chappie six was the make up one, right? Yeah, that's right!

Hooray reviewers! Kurama gives you all roses and I made Hiei hug you all!

I kinda wanted to post those one shots while this was written. Then I also posted my Battle of the Rising Sun one. (Yes, stupid title. Think of a better one!) If you could chech em out and review. I'll go with updating this then the next. No reviews for the chapter? I'll keep updating the other til I get one! Too much to ask?

Can you figure out the kidnapper before the next post? Leave your e-mail with your answer and you might get a surprise!

Review! Hiei'll cry if you don't. (holds up pic of Kuwabara in a dress to Hiei's face) (Hiei freaks out.) You heard the little man!


	9. Ekichi Part 2

Bara-Minamino and Never Listening saved you guys from a long wait! Thank 'em cause I started school on the twenty third so I can't update at ten in the morning or daily like I used to so yeah.

The surprise is in progress...

voice over2

normal stuff

'thought'

"speech"

**nes scene**

**Yusuke the Detective**

_Case 9: Eikicki- part 2_

**In the bathroom (the Next Day)**

Hiei was listening to Amanuma while washing his hands.

Amanuma sobbed. "Why does it have to be so hard? This sucks! It stinks!"

"Wha...?" Hiei blinked.

"It hurts..."

"What is that boy doing in there?"

"Why isn't it coming out right?"

Hiei fainted.

Kurama walked in. "Amanuma, what are you doing?"

He opened the stall. "What?"

"What's wrong?"

"I can't do the case!"

"But you're close to finding the kidnapper! Yusuke would say that he tastes victory and would licked evryone's ear!"

"Don't you get it, you confused fox bandit! I don't get 1 Rose 5 Nara 2 Ave. 3 Park 61 o'clock! Or Detective Yu.!"

"Where'd you get all that?"

"The kidnapper called. That was when he told me."

'That must be someone he knows...' Kurama thought. Out loud he said, "Let's talk about this somewhere else. Come on Hiei or Michael Jackon is gonna get you if you sit there!" Everyone walked out at that.

Kuwabara ran to them, "You guys! The kidnapper called and said that I won't see Eikichi again if we don't find him by noon!"

Twelve o' clock. That leaves 1, Rose, 5, Nara, Ave, 3, Park, and 6...

"So what's that mean?" Hiei asked.

"I dunno. Then, there's that note..." Amanuma replied.

_Ko Sn Ge Bo Yu Ki_

_**Detective Yu.**_

_Yu Mi Ke Ka Shi Ya_

"That ended up being Koenma, Sniper, Genkai, Botan, Yukina, Kido, Yanagisawa, Shizuru, Kaitou, Keiko, Mitarai and the last unknown," Kurama added.

"And they all had a connection to the kidnapping."

"I don't get it," Kuwabara said.

"When do you get it? So what you're saying is That those twelve are part of this and the Detective Yu is the Kidnapper?" Hiei asked.

"What time is it?" Kurama asked.

"Um... nine-fifty," Kuwabara answered.

"Hey, but isn't there a Rose and Nara Avenue and Rose and Nara Park?" Hiei asked.

"That'll complacate things..."Kurama responded.

"Let's split up. Kuwabara, you go to Rose Avenue and Kurama..." Amanuma was interupted.

"I don't wanna go there..." Kuwabara whined.

"Fine go to Nara Avenue. Kurama go to Rose Park. Hiei to Rose Avenue. I'll go to Nara Park. If you get nothing we'll meet over here."

All replied, "Right!"

**Kuwabara**

"Stupid cat napper. Why does it have to be here of all places?" Kuwabara muttered.

The place was full of preps and fangirls.

One prep said,"Like oh my gawd, that movie was totally tubular!"

Another said back, "Like oh my gawd, those Smartainia people are like, _so _mean! Why do they have to be, like so mean!"

Kuwabara growled, "I feel tormented..."

**Kurama**

"Wow, look at all the roses here. I guess the name wasn't just a pun..." Kurama sighed, sniffing a rose. This place was also full of preps.

"Oh, look at the cute guy! He's a hottie!" One prep swooned.

Another went behind Kurama. "Please go out with me!"

Kurama blinked. "It's attack of the preps..."

Prep three commanded, "Attack, my evil preps from the underworld! Yes, chase the bishounen..."

"Why does evryone have to attack me with a large swarm of preps/ fangirls?"

**Hiei**

This place was all quiet and empty.

Hiei sighed. "I guess I could sleep on the job..." He started to fall asleep.

Prep three returned! "Get him, girls!"

Perverted fanboys arrived. "What about us?"

"Go away! No one cares about you!" The fangirls and preps attacked!

"Holy crap! Damn fangirls!" Hiei growled and used the Dragon of the Darkness Flame. "Die!" More came. "Yeah, I'm screwed."

**Amanuma**

I just had a thought. Rose Avenue and Nara park are on the same street and Nara Park's address is 3651 Rose Avenue. This Yu person has to be Detective Yu. Wait, that means...

"Detective Yu is the kidnapper. Huh? There's a paper in that bush," Amanuma said.

The note read:

_I live for laughter._

_I live for the crowd._

_Without them, I am nothing._

"A clown? Actually, come to think of it, there's a bush cut in that shape. So to..." A swarm of fangirls ran by.

Hiei, who was all torn up, came to him. "Amanuma, never trust fangirls especially the ones that like N sync." He passed out.

"Right..." He walked to the clown bush. There was another note.

It read:

_Tree Nakano Tree_

_1 ...9_

_...Street... Be there at noon._

_Tree 5...Tree 0_

1509 Nakano Street. But the trees... It has to be that empty lot.

"The time's ten- fifty. Gotta find everyone..."

**Later**

"Kuwabara, I know where the kidnapper is, " Amanuma said.

"Where?" Kuwabara quickly asked.

"That empty lot on Nakano Street."

"But that's on the other side of town!"

"If you want to be stuck with Luke Skywalker, then, we can end the case," Kurama said.

Luke suddenly came out of nowhere with a flame thrower.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Hiei screamed.

"Yeah, I want Eikichi back!" Kuwabara replied.

"To Nakano Street!" Amanuma responded.

**Later**

Another minute... Almost there... Made it!

"Are you sure we're in the right place?" Kuwabara asked. Akward silence. "Echo... Echo... Echo..."

Prep three appeared. "Attack them girls!"

Hiei growled. "Aw crap!"

"The kidnapper was a prep?"

Another appeared. "They don't wanna come."

Another came. "Maybe it's because she's not tubular enough."

The first growled, "What was that?"

The other two whistled innocently.

"Oh, it's on now, girlfriends." A catfight began!

Eikichi came out of nowhere and meowed.

"Eikichi, where'd you come from?" Kuwabara asked.

Yusuke came out from behind a box that was conviently placed in the middle of the lot. "Yo."

"Urameshi!"

"But I thought you were in Osaka!" Kurama responded,

"Pretty good cover up for a plot, huh?" Yusuke replied.

"Wait... You were planning this?" Amanuma growled.

"Yup!"

"You..."

"Retreat!" Hiei ran away, a very un-Hiei like thing to do which made Hiei seem less like Hiei than Hiei is right now which brings Hiei's Hiei-ness in Hiei questioning.

"Bastard!" amanuma threw a table which was also conviently placed in the lot.

"But you needed training to be a real detective!" Yusuke argued.

"I feel retarded now..."

"Hey, it's the bishounen!" a prep cried.

"Attack him, girls!" Then preps attacked again!

_**End Case 9**_

Yo! Long to no see to my reviewers! Ah... My ever faithful readers. So the last chappie wasn't as long as I said but who cares...

Reviews!

Bara-Minamino-- Hey, thanks for your reviews! Kurama will do voice overs but wait for it! DON'T STOP BELIVIN'! HOLD ON TO THAT FEELING!

Never Listening-- Don't worry bout spelling! I can't spell! Hey, you're right... How _does _Kurama fit into that ice chest? Evil fox powers...

Thanks for you're reviews! I'll give you guys a surprise! Lemme think about it for a while... ROCKIN IN THE USA!

So I haven't been here for a while. I've been talking on the guilds at neopets. Anyone know me from there? Yeah so I wanted to post a fic there but it's been between that and writer's block. Then at school I've been trying to write something for the Middle School paper... Ehh.. Then there's home work. I hate you, eighth grade teachers...

So then in between I look at my age and think... I may stop when I'm eighteen. Then I laugh because I still might be doing this when I'm a sagging old lady of eighty nine.

Well, there you have it! Review or the preps will attack again!


	10. Toguro Brothers Diet Pills and Steroiods

Sorry I didn't update last week! I never got to a computer... So I updated two of my fics today!

_voice over_

normal stuff

"speech"

'thought'

**new scene**

"_emphasis_"

**Yusuke the Detective**

_Case 10: The Toguro brothers' diet pills and steroids!_

_Man, it's great to be in the office again._

"You know it took a week for me to get the plot down?" Yusuke asked.

"Really? Sounds like quite an accomplishment," Kurama replied.

"For me- yeah. For you- maybe not. I don't know how you masterminds do it. My brain broke at the thought."

"Well, foxes are clever. Wait, I'm not a crimal mastermind! You bastard!"

_Then, a case began. Well, if you want to get technical, it was two but I still cout them as one._

The Toguro Brothers ran in, "We need help."

"You guys are supposed to be dead! What're you doing here!" Yusuke asked.

The youner toguro said,"I lost my steriods."

The older one said,"And I lost my diet pills." (Ah, Toguro brothers, when will Togasho give you a last name?)

"Wha... What?" Yusuke was speechless.

They repeated. "I lost my steroids."

"I lost my diet pills."

Karasu ran into the room. "I lost my marbles!"

"Get out," Kurama growled.

"Alright, state your names," Yusuke commanded.

"I'm..." A rocket flew by, a cow moo-ed, and an explosion was heard. "Toguro." The younger one said.

"I'm..." Cats hissed, a toilet flushed, and Hiei sneezed. "Toguro." The older one said, eyes twitching with a witch laugh.

O.O o.O O.o

"Alrighty then..." Yusuke sighed.

"So... Any suspects?" Kurama asked.

The elder cried, "I bet it was that ugly bastard Chu! Him or Jin."

"For your diet pills?"

The younger added, "I bet it was that damn batard Hiei! Him or Jin."

"Best to take small steps. HIEI GET YOUR SORRY ASS IN HERE!" Yusuke yelled.

Hiei growled and stomped in. "WHAT!"

"Did you..." Giggle. "...Steal Toguro's steroids?" Laugh.

"So tell me Yusuke, why would I steal steroids or even be low to think about doin' it? Swords and lighting stuff on fire are my thing."

"Well, like I said before, NEVER TRUST A RETIRED THEIF, ESPECIALLY ONE WITH WATER BALLOONS AND BALLOON ANIMALS!"

"I'm not a thief so quit nagging like you're my wife."

Kuwabara came out of nowhere. "I knew it! You _are_ married!" He took off.

Kurama broke in, "Let's consider the list."

_1) The Shadow Sword_

_2)Those magazines_

_3) I just like the number_

_"_Therefore you sorta are/ aren't a retired thief. Ha! No reformation."

"Therefore, it is necissary to run a test!" Yusuke replied.

Hiei got mad and kicked him in... a sensitive spot. He ran away.

O.O "Uh, Yusuke, are you okay?" Kurama poked him with a stick.

While Yusuke recovers, you get an...

**Intermission!**

2101- war was begining. Explosion.

Yusuke asked, "What happen?"

Kurama answered,"Somebody set us up the bomb."

"What?"

"We get signal. Main screen turn on," Hiei said. The screen revealed Kuwabara.

"It's you!" Yusuke gasped.

"How are you gentlemen? All your base are belong to us. You are on the way to destruction," Kuwabara said.

"What you say!"

"You have no chance to survive make your time. Hahaha..."

**End Intermission** (See Zero Wing for the above.)

"I'm okay! To Chu!" Yusuke cheered.

**Chu**

"Diet pills? The hell do I need diet pills?" Chu asked as he chugged sake.

"Well... Uh..." Yusuke has no idea.

"Does this look fat to you?" He lifted his shirt.

"I see a beer gut," Kurama replied.

"Do I need a diet pill to get rid of a beer gut?" He chugged more sake.

"I'd rather exercise."

"Yeah! I mean, how can that measly runt- stick of a thing get any sticky-er?" Hic!

"You have to admit he's got a point there..."

"To Jin then!" Yusuke pointed out and smacked the elder Toguro. "I'm not sorry!"

**Jin**

"Diet pills? Feh! I don't need them! But steroids! There's an idea!" Jin's eyes twinkled.

"So you stole them..." The younger Toguro sweat dropped.

"No, but if I did I would've got that damn leprechaun out of that hole by now! Get out damn you!"

Kurama sighed. "Anymore suspects?"

The brothers sighed, "No."

_Ugh. Back to the office._

**Later**

"I don't get it. Who would steal steroids from the Toguro Brothers' steroids and diet pills?" Yusuke asked

"Ask Tarukane," Hiei answered.

"Why?"

"'Cause he's a fat ass."

"He's got a point..." kurama sighed.

"Whatever..." Yusuke stared out the window.

Kuwabara came into the room. He was outrageously skinny.

"Baggy clothes are in style?" Kurama asked.

"No, I've been turning into a cat so I got plastic surgery and now I'm skinny. I match Hiei!" Kuwabara replied.

"I'm gonna get fat now..." Hiei walked out.

"Wha...? Fine be a weirdo like Yukimura!"

"What's with Keiko!" Yusuke growled.

"Dunno. She looks like a guy." Kuwabara walked out.

Silence.

"SAY IT ISN'T SO!"

**Keiko**

"KEIKO!" He broke the door.

"ACK! Yusuke, haven't you heard of knocking!" Keiko, who was now muscular, growled.

"Yeah, Urameshi..." Kuwabara added.

O.O ...Yusuke's eyes teared up.

"What?" Keiko asked.

"It's true! Keiko's on steroids and Kuwabara's on diet pills!" Yusuke cried.

"We've been figured out!" Kuwabara screamed.

"Run!" Keiko screamed.

"WAIT!"

They both turned around.

"I have a cat and I'm not afraid to use her!" Yusuke held up Eikichi. "Hand over the diet pills, steriods, and some chocolate and no one gets hurt!"

O.O

"She's fully loaded..."

"Okay, okay, okay! In the closet- the top shelf!" Keiko cried.

"Thanks!"

_And case closed!_

"You can't leave it right there!" Kurama growled.

"He's right," Hiei replied.

"Fine! Punks!" Yusuke growled.

_Well, it turned out that the bottles were almost empty when Kuwabara and Keiko stole so when they used the diet pills and steroids it ended up being empty._

The Toguro brothers gasped. "What the hell is this!"

_And it also turned out that the diet pill bottle was full of gummi bears and the steroid were full of strawberry milk._

"Whoa! You guys gained _some_ weight!" Kurama exclaimed.

Hiei, who was so fat that you can roll him around, said, "It's in stlye."

_So then, then Toguro Brothers got fat from all they ate and drank._

The Younger Toguro knocked him over. The older one spun him around on the floor.

_At least Hiei has an inspiration to get skinny. But there's just one endindg question. Why did Kuwabara and Keiko steal the steroids and diet pills? Another file in the x- files!_

"No, really, what are the X- files?" Kurama asked.

_**End Case 10**_

"Fine be that way!" Kurama growled.

Poor Kurama.

Well I can't respond to reviews individually so... Condensation! Rejoice for Kuronue! Go promganates go! Luke Skywalker shall rule all! Ha! Randomness! Thanks for the reviews! Anyone who has ideas for cases they wanna see tell me in a review! I shall take action!

Review please!


	11. Kuwabara's Idenity!

I got on before you Yayo! What now! Hm... When is she gonna update? I mean, she supposedly can't think on Stupider Mistakes and she's _supposedly_ gonna write a fic making fun of soap operas. Sure sis... My dream told me she gave up on Yuyu.

_Voiceover 3_

normal stuff

"speech"

'thought'

"_emphasis_"

**New scene**

**Yusuke the Detective**

_Case 11: Kuwabara's Idenity_

A man pulled out a crossword puzzle. "Hey, can I use a pen? I lost mine."

A lady answered, "Sure." and handed him one.

"I lost something once, too. It was my idenity," Kuwabara said from the corner.

The man stared at him as he said, "Well, thanks for then pen, anyway."

"It was one summer morning..."

**Flashback**

"Good morning world and all who inhabit it!" Kuwabara cheered. He got tangled in the sheets and tried to walk but he fell down the stairs. "Ow..."

Eikichi walked to him. "Meow."

Kuwabara pulled out cat food and feed Eikichi. "Y' know I've been feeding her this food all these years and I don't know what it tastes like." He licked the cat food. "BLEAH!"

**Meanwhile**

A businessman shuttered.

"What's wrong?" his partner asked.

"I don't know..." The man mumbled.

**Kuwabara**

_Urameshi was out so I had to walk to school alone._

"Hi Kuwabara!" Kurama waved.

"Hi Kurama!" Kuwabara started skipping.

**End Flashback**

"When'd you loose your idenity?" The man asked.

"Who's Kurama and Urameshi?" The woman asked.

"Why'd you eat cat food?" the cook asked.

"I'm getting there!" Kuwabara growled.

**Flashback**

_So when I got to school..._

Kuwabara held the door open for some random chick.

"Oh, thankyou. Uh..." she looked at Kuwabara.

"What?" Kuwabara asked.

"Well you should be wearing a name tag because no one recognizes you. But since you don't I can't thank you properly."

"Oh, but it's right... Uh... Right... OH NO IT'S GONE!" Pant, pant pant...

"What's with you?" Yusuke, who just came, asked.

"I lost my name tag! Everybody needs one!"

"Dude, it won't matter anyway. What, are they gonna do a check for that?"

"Attention students!" the teacher cried. "I will be checking everyone for dress code and name tags. And if you fail... You get the boot..." She held one up. "This one to be more exact. It's very stinky. Remember one hour!"

Kuwabara ran out. "Gotta retrace my steps..."

**Near Kuwabara's House**

Kurama was dancing to "The Rage Beat" by Kinya Kotani. "...Basho e. I want new world." He started singing "Glaring Dream", also by Kinya Kotani.

Kuwabara turned around. "Kurama?"

"Mayoi aruku..."

"Hey..."

"Glaring one way..."

"Uh, Kurama. I need your help and stuff. I lost my name tag and there's this... Kurama..."

"Kimi ga utseru..."

"KURAMA!"

Kurama turned off his CD player and took off his head phones. "Yeah?"

"I lost my idenity!"

"What!" Pant, pant, pant...

"So I'm gonna retrace my steps. I need you to say hi whenever I come by." Kuwabara went through his daily routine.

Kurama was singing "Super Drive" By some guy unknown to me. "...So sa. No wanna sell your soul."

Kuwabara walked by and waited a few minutes.

Kurama didn't notice. "No forget smile again."

Kuwabara turned around. "Wha...?"

"...Shiroi kaze..." Insert the next lines here. "Ne koi natte, ai natte..."

"KURAMA I NEED YOUR HI!"

"Right!"

**Try 2**

"Hi Kurama! I'm mean... I'm Kurama!" Kurama laughed. "Lemme try again."

**Try 3**

"Hi Kuwaboob!" Laugh. "Who's Kuwaboob?"

**Try 4**

He laughed. "I've got the giggles..."

"This'll never work..." Kuwabara sighed.

"Fine! I won't help!" He started to sing "No Style" by Kinya Kotani. "I've no style!" He walked away.

Hiei came out of nowhere sining "American Idiot" by Green Day. (Rock on!) "Don't wanna be an American idiot..."

Kuwabara turned to him. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but Hiei, I need your help!"

"Look in the dumpster."

"Why?"

"Yeah, Yusuke threw you in the dumpster, remember?"

"Whatever."

"Oh, and your wearing your shirt backwards, retard."

"All this time..." He turned his shirt back around. "Almost time!"

**School**

"Let's see..." The teacher took a couple of whiffs of air. "ACK! You stink!"

**End Flashback**

"What an interesting story," the lady said.

"Thanks, Betty," Kuwabara replied.

"Oh, I'm not Betty. I borrowed this from the landromat."

O.O "Ugh."

_**End Case 12**_

Yayness! This was based on a episode of Spongebob. I don't own that or anything mentioned here.

I was amazed by the number of people who knew what Zero Wing was. Heh. oh, and I HAVE NO INGENIUSNESS! DON'T STOP BELIEVIN'!

You have any ideas for cases you want to see? Say so in a review and I'll write it!Oh, and happy day after Kurama's birthday! (September 24)Review please!


	12. Shigure's Eiri Yuki Novel

O.O I forgot about the surprise... The idea is pending... Well, here's a random chapter... Remember the name Eiri Yuki.

I don't own Eiri Yuki. Maki Murakami does.

_Voice over_

normal stuff

"Speech"

'thought'

**New scene**

**Yusuke the Detective**

_Case 12: Shigure's Eiri Yuki Novel_

_Once again, this was another average day where I skipped summer school._

Yusuke walked into the room. "Hi Kurama."

"Hi Yusuke," Kurama greeted while playing "One Winged Angel" while killing people with a sword on GTA. (Don't ask.)

"Get any cases while I was hiding from Keiko?"

"There was some guy who kept calling about a novel, Hiei, and a Eiri Yuki and Tatsuha Uesugi sit com."

"Did you catch his name?"

"It was Shigure or something like that."

"Shigure? Wait, the Fruits Basket Sohma one or this Yuyu Hakusho swordsman/ doctor ugly guy that you and Hiei kill?"

"Do you know how much sense that didn't make? It was _our_ Shigure, as in the Yu yu Hakusho one."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Wqait, why would he want a Eiri/ Tatsuha sitcom?"

The door shook.

"Run!" Yusuke screamed. They both hid in the closet.

Hiei randomly walked in.

The door broke and Shigure appeared.

"Where! Is! Urameshi!" he growled.

'Great caveman...' Hiei thought and he said out loud, "I dunno."

"Where's Urameshi!" He held his sword to Hiei's head.

"I dunno. He left you this present, though."

"Ooh! I hope it's cookies!" The box had a bomb which exploded in his face and he started to cry.

Kuronue randomly appeared. "I will be your attorney!"

"No, I will!" Karasu growled.

"I will."

Slap.

Gasp! Slap.

Slap.

Slap. Slap fight.

Genkai came and slapped them both.

Kuronue pulled out a time portal and threw her in.

"What'd you do?" Karasu asked.

"I put her on Christopher Columbus' ship."

"Oh, you punk!" Slap.

Slap.

Raizen threw Hiei out the window. "Ten points!"

Mukuro threw raizen in the dumpster. "That's for yesterday punk!"

"Is t me or is this getting off topic?" Yusuke asked.

Kurama sighed, "Hey..."

Raizen slapped Mukuro.

Mukuro slapped him back. (Okay, kids. This is where it gets violent.)

"Um, guys..." Kurama repeated.

Karasu flipped Kuronue off.

Kuronue flipped him off.

Shigure wailed even louder.

"Guys, quiet now..." Kurama said again.

Raizen, Mukuro, Karasu, and Kuronue all started to fight. Shigure, meanwhile, wailed even louder.

Kurama turned into Youko. "EVERYBODY SHUT THE HELL UP!"

Hiei, who was all torn up, came in, "Huh?"

"My love!" Shigure cried.

O.O "Um... What?"

"Everybody except me, Kurama, and Shigure, get out..." Yusuke said, and as Hiei tried to sneak away, he added, "And you, Hiei. Okay, Shigure, what's wrong?"

"Someone... Someone... Someone stole my Eiri Yuki novel!" Shigure sobbed.

"Your what! What are you, a chick!"

"Why don't you just write one?" Kurama asked.

"What was that?" Shigure asked.

"Why don't you just write one?"

Eye shift. "No! I am too sexy for writing!"

"You can start a sit com with Hiei, Kurama, and Mukuro," Yusuke commented.

_Let's consider that..._

_Shigure was typing on his laptop._

_Hiei ran in, "Shigure, I need the other 500 pages not 5!"_

_"Uh-huh." He wasn't listening._

_Mukuro randomly appeared. "What's happening?"_

_"Oh, Hiei was saying how hot you are and how he was gonna ask you out and marry you..."_

_Kurama also appeared. "Hey, look at the hole in my pants!" He pointed to a heart shaped hole in the back of his pants._

_"Thanks, we needed to see that..."Hiei sighed. A crowd cheered._

_"Notice how most of the fans are girls," Shigure pointed out.Top of Form 1_

_Bottom of Form 1_

_"Hm...Some of them are hot..." Hiei replied._

_Mukuro glared. Evil aura..._

_"But not as hot as you!"_

_"Yay!" Mukuro hugged Hiei._

_"Aw..." A sound effect was heard._

_"You know, I'm not wearing anything under my pants," Kurama commented._

_Then again, that sitcom might be too good..._

"We're on the case!" Yusuke cried.

"Anysuspects? ...Other than me?" Kurama asked.

"Mukuro," Shigure quickly said.

"Why?"

"Because she's a crazy bitch!"

"Alright..."

"Raizen, Yomi, or Shura!"

"Why not Hiei?"

"Because he shall be mine! And he will write me novels. But he'll be cool, unlike those old perverts who sit in front of the computer all day in their underwear."

Raizen randomly appeared. "Hey, look at the hole in my pants!"

"Did you steal Shigure's Eiri Yuki novel?" Yusuke asked.

"_Airy poopy_? I don't read novels about farts."

"Look, you. I already lost my dignity when you appeared in the wrong series."

"Uh... What...?"

"We're barely at the begining of Chapter Black. You're in Three Kings," Kurama eplained.

"And you die!" Shigure added.

"NO! I'm melting! I'm melting!" And Raizen became a puddle...

**10 Minutes later...**

Raizen is now in a pitcher.

"Why do you always throw me in your crap?" Hiei growled.

"Because we love you Charley Brown," Yusuke answered.

"Come again?"

"Here, Hiei, have an ice cream."

"Raizen, will you ever be solid again?" Kurama asked.

"Yusuke, I need you to drink me," Raizen said.

"No," Yusuke growled.

"Drink me."

"No!"

"DRINK MEEEEEEEEE!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" He knocked the pitcher over. Dust particles fell in. Raizen solidfied.

"I can dance again!" He did an Irish jig.

Mukuro randomly appeared and threw Raizen out the window. "That was for that pie you ass monkey!"

"Pie?" Yusuke asked.

"He gave me a pie... And the bastard put a bomb in it!"

O.O "Actually that was me..." Hiei said.

"Bastard!" Mukuro threw Hiei in the dumpster who threw Raizen in the dumpster who threw Yusuke in the dumpster who threw shigure in the dumpster who threw Kurama in the dumpster... And at last it was resolved... Until Eiri yuki appeared and threw everybody in the dumpster. Everybody got mad and threw Eiri Yuki in the dumpster. _THEN_ it was resolved.

"Let's find Yomi!" Yusuke held up a clutched fist.

"But we never found out if Mukuro stole it," Kurama replied.

"Mukuro, did you steal Shigure's Eiri Yuki novel?"

"What's an Eiri Yuki?" she asked.

"Let's find Yomi..." Yusuke sighed.

**Yomi**

"Eiri Yuki sucks," Yomi growled. "Why would I steal something that sucks?"

Shigure gasped. "How dare you say that about my Yuki!"

"What's happening?" Shura asked.

"Shut up and go clean your room!" Yomi growled.

"No!"

Yomi yelled something in German.

Shura yelled something back.

"We're hopeless..." Yusuke sighed.

**When they got back to the office...**

"Look, Shigure, we can't find your novel," Yusuke said.

"I think a sitcom would be good for you," Kurama commented.

"No! I am too sexy for sit coms!" Shigure replied with an eye shift.

_Actually it would be a good idea._

_Shigure came out of the closet._

_Hiei came out of nowhere. "I need those last pages of that novel!"_

_"No."_

_"Why not?"_

_"Because you have no holes in your pants."_

_Hiei made a hole in his knee. "Happy?"_

_Kurama returned, "Hey look at the hole in my pants!" He pointed to the same hole as before._

_The two stared. O.O_

_Back to reality..._

Yusuke was laughing.

"Yusuke, there's something I need to tell you when you're done," Hiei said.

"Huh?"

"You have a hole... In the back of your pants..."

"ACK!" He covered the hole up. "Why ya looking?"

"It was hypnotic..." (Sure Hiei... You know you think Yusuke's butt is cute! And somwhere a fangirl was turned off and had a heart attack. That always offends people.)

"Ugh..."

**That night...**

Hiei was waiting in the park.

"Here it is..." Mukuro gave Hiei the novel.

"Yay!" He burned it. They both laughed.

_I couldn't help but have this feeling..._

_**End case 12**_

That is one of my favorite chapters!

Ah... The Yu Yu topic... Shounen ai. lol Botan eating everything. I'm working on that too! I brought someone back to life! Yay! Someone told me Kurama's birthday. They told me some more.

Keiko- January 21, Aquarius (as of the manga)

Kurama- September 24, Libra

Hiei- June 17, Gemini (Togashi, is that a pun?)

Yusuke- August 5, Cancer

Review please!


	13. Raizen's Hair Spray

Well, I'm currently working on the case suggestions right now so you guys might have to wait a while for it. I never said anything last time but this is going into the later episodes... Sorry if you don't know who these people are. Say something in a review and I'll know whether or not to explain this crap.

_Voice over_

normal stuff

"speech"

"_empasis"_

'thought'

**new scene**

**Yusuke the Detective**

_Case 13: Raizen's Hairspray_

_I can't believe we finally randomly made it to the Three Kings series!_

"Now everybody from the anime can show up and it'll make sense! ...And a few can appear from the manga like those freshmen!" Yusuke cheered.

"...But we're barely at the begining of that saga..." Kurama said. Then, the door suddenly swung open... Evil aura, evil aura...

A voice growled, "Is this... Urameshi's office?"

"Yeah..." Yusuke answered.

The voice removed a paper bag from his head. "I have a case for you!"

"Raizen... Your hair..." Kurama was shocked.

"I need my hair spray," Raizen, whose hair looked normal for once, added.

Hiei walked in and stared at Raizen.

"I bet it was you who stole my hair spray!" Raizen growled at him.

"So tell me, _RAISIN_, what would I do with hair spray?" Hiei growled back.

"Isn't that how your hair ends up like that?" Yusuke asked.

"No, it's naturally that way... It's been like that as long as I can remember..." Hiei replied.

**Flashback**

A kid pushed Hiei into a lake. "Ha ha!"

**End Flashback**

"Wrong flashback..." A flashback reveal a baby Hiei.

A sound effect was heard. "Aww..."

"You're eyes were so big and you were so cute!" Kurama commented.

"What happened?" Yusuke added sarcasticlly.

"Who ya callin' Raisin!" Raizen pushed Hiei into a lake that mysteriously appeared in the office. "You're a twinkie!"

"What's that?" Hiei growled.

"It's what you are!"

"Yeah, well, you're a bigger one!"

"Alright... So any suspects?" Yusuke asked.

"I bet it was Shigure. He's probably mad about what I said about that Airy Poopy guy."

"It's Eiri Yuki, Raizen," Kurama corrected him. "Anyone else?"

"I bet it was Yukina," Hiei broke in.

"Why Yukina?"

"That crap head stole my sword... And my pants in the first chapter."

"Right..."

"It bet it was Mukuro! She's not right in the head you know! She's crazy! The walls have ears!" Raizen added. "If not her, then Yomi! He's crazy too. He dances like a robot to electronic music! I saw him!" (In the back, Hiei is dancing to "Blind Game Again" By Kinya Kotani.)

"So what's wrong with your hair? It looks fine now," Kurama asked.

"Would it look right on a member of Van Halen?" Raizen asked.

"Depends on the time of day and day of the week," Yusuke answered.

"What would you do if I told you I'm a member of a heavy metal band?"

Yusuke pointed to the door.

"I'm not! Honest! Tell the truth and hope to die! Poke a poodle in the eye!"

"I see where this is going."

**Shigure**

_And then we searched the corners of the earth. Through the snowy purple of the mountains majesty. And the white sea's foam from sea to shining sea from the fruited plain and the orange desert through the perilous fire and shadowy forests... Past the heavy rivers so deep and in the dark caves so ominous._

"Arg! When was the last time Kuwabara mowed his damn lawn! Iswear, he needs to clean this thing too!" Yusuke growled.

_And oddly enough, we found Shigure. I've gotta wonder how he got through all this crap Kuwabara has in his backyard..._

"So, Shigure, what'd you do with my hairspray?" Raizen growled.

"Why the hell would I need hair spray anyway!" Shigure growled.

"You don't know what hair spray is?" Yusuke asked.

Shigure nodded. "Is that bad?"

"Ugh, nevermind. Hiei, where's Mukuro?" Kurama asked. "Hiei?"

"The cheeseball's probably still at the office," Yusuke responded. "Come on."

"Cheeseball? Isn't that a '70's music group?"

**Mukuro/ Hiei/ Whoever**

They all walked into the office. It was dark, except for the TV. Mukuro was watching Gravitation. (Maki Murakami owns...)

"Hey, Mukuro. In two chapters in a row for any reason at all?" Kurama asked.

"My TV broke the other day," Mukuro said.

"So why don't you fix it?" Yusuke replied.

Hissssssssssssss...

"Uh, where's Hiei?"

"In the closet."

"And why is he in the closet?"

"I think he's making out with your broom."

O.O "Uh... Nevermind then..."

"And no, I didn't steal the hairspray."

"Let's find Yomi now," Kurama said.

Yusuke was staring at Yuki and Shuichi. O.O

"YUSUKE!"

"Right!"

**Yomi**

The group of three walked to a door.

"You can't go in there," the secretary said.

"Watch me!" Raizen growled. He opened the door and crashed into a brick wall.

"That's what I said, hon'. You gotta use the other door."

"Fine!"

"Hey! You need an appointment!"

"Watch me go in! Besides, you don't have an appointment book!"

"Open up!" Yusuke cried and broke the door.

Yomi, however, didn't hear this. He was dancing like a robot to electonic music.

Everyone stared.

Yomi suddenly noticed everyone. "EGADS! Haven't you people heard of knocking!"

"I demand my hair spray!" Raizen growled.

"So what if I do have it? What're you gonna do about it?"

Raizen pulled out a camera. "I'll post your dance on the internet!"

Gasp! "Fine! It's in the back cabinet."

"One question," Yusuke broke in.

"What?" Yomi asked.

"Why did you steal Raizen's hair spray?" Kurama asked.

"I dunno, put it in the X- files!"

"Ugh... I hate the stupid X- files," Yusuke growled.

"What's the X- files?" Kurama asked.

_**End Case 13**_

"Hey!" Kurama growled.

wOOt! Lucky 13.

Yayness! Can't think of what to say... I appreciate all the reviews! Oh and...

"Did you know there's this thing where you can write to your favorite voice actor and he'll sign the letter and give it back?"

? Really? What's that?

Anyway? Review please!


	14. Yusuke's gel

Hi again. Uh... Still can't think. I gave up on the surprise cause I can't think of what to put in it... Oh and...

Shioro fainted. (Or something like that...) Shioro? Who's Shioro? And what are they donig to Kurama! (See chapter 4)

_voice over_

normal stuff

"Speech"

'thought'

"_emphasis_"

**new scene**

**Yusuke the Detective**

_Case 14: Yusuke's Gel_

Kurama was alone in the office that morning. He spent his time alone sweeping the floor, something he couldn't do with Yusuke there to run around and spread the dust anymore than he already did, as he hummed to himself.

The door creaked.

Kurama looked around and shrugged when he saw no one was there.

It creaked some more. SLAM!

"Meep!" Kurama squeaked and walked to the door. "Is there anyone there?"

No answer.

Kurama shrugged again and continued his chore. (...I'm making Kurama sound like a house wife.) He turned around. "HOLY CRAP! Yusuke, where's you come from!"

Yusuke growled.

"...Yusuke, why are you dressed like Golem from Lord of the Rings?"

"Need... Gel..."

"Ugh! Yusuke, you went through plenty of episodes without gel! And dress like a normal person!"

Yusuke, by some unknown force, suddenly was dressed like Sherlock Holmes. "Fine, but Kurama, I need you help!"

"Sure... Now you need the side kick... What's with you?"

"I lost my gel!"

**Ten Seconds Later...**

Yusuke found himself locked out of the office. "Waah! Kurama, let me in!" He pounded on the door.

"What the hell are you doing?" Hiei asked.

"Kurama threw me out!" Yusuke whined.

Hiei sweatdropped. 'I'm not gonna ask...'

Yusuke pounded on it some more. "Lemme in!"

"Whatever." Hiei started to walk away. "That's why you need to carry a key to your office."

_That was when it clicked in my mind to steal Hiei's keys._

Hiei hissed at him. Evil aura, evil aura.

_Yikes! Or maybe not..._

Hiei continued walking. (Insert "Boulavard of Broken Dreams" here. Man, I'm an idiot.)

Yusuke tip toed after him.

He looked over his shoulder, the "He" being Hiei for those of you who are confused.

Yusuke froze, a deer-in-the-head lights look on his face.

He shrugged and was on his way again.

Tip toe, tip toe.

Stop.

Freeze.

He walked faster.

Tip toe, tip toe.

Hiei ran.

"GET BACK HERE YOU BASTARD!"

"LEAVE ME ALONE!"

Kurama opened the door. "Why's everybody yelling?" He watched what was happening.

Yusuke pounced on Hiei. "Gimme my keys! ...And my gel!"

"I don't have any keys, you retard! And why would I have your gel?" Hiei growled.

"Because you're crazy! Crazy like a fox! Mukuro is wearing off on you!"

"Then, ask Mukuro if she's such a crazy bitch!"

"No, because your closer!"

_Then, Hiei did something so unpredictable that even I couldn't predict it. It was just beyond my imagination... And I don't mean like flying on a flying carpet to the moon, slaying dragons unicorns there, and coming home to fairies! Wow, the things you people come up with..._

And Hiei... Kissed Yusuke.

Kurama got freakled out and ran back into the office.

Hiei ran away, screaming. (I guess Yusuke didn't eat his breath mints this morning...)

Yusuke was sitting there. Now he is mildly confused... Just like the writer of this fanfic.

**One day at therapy...**

"I dunno, it kinda felt right... Anyway, I gotta find my gel. See ya!" Yusuke walked out.

"Okay!" The therapist, Sensui, waved with a smile.

The paitent, Kamiya (or Doctor for those who don't remember), asked, "Who was that?"

"I dunno, some weird kid. ...Haha!"

'That accent... It's like Speed Racer...' Kamiya thought.

**When he got back to the office...**

_Kurama was still cleaning the office. Is it spring already?_

"Yusuke, why is there all this _crap_ (lol) in this cabnet?" Kurama pointed at the cabinet filled with lint and floss.

"That's my garbage cabinet!" Yusuke replied.

"Yusuke, that's why they invented the trash can."

"So?"

Kurama sighed and cleaned the offensive cabinet. "There. Now you can fit the X- files in there."

"What about the rest on the files?"

"Leave them where they are! Let's see... X- file A..." Kurama reached over.

Yusuke quickly grabbed the fox's wrist. "Don't you dare... If You touch that file, you'll never see the light of day again, Shuichi Minamino/ Youko Kurama."

"Ehh... Never mind then! File one: Hiei's Sword!"

Kurama began to think. 'Why can't I look, or even touch the X- files? I file everything else... Or maybe it has to do with the whales in space...' Eye shift. 'Yes, it has to be the whales in space or what if... Yusuke's an alien!' (O.O)

"What's with you?" Yusuke asked the spazzing red head.

"EVIL FLYING MONKEYS ARE ATTACKING MARS! ALERT THE TEENAGE MUTANT GRASSHOPPERS!" Kurama screamed.

Hiei started singing kareoke. "We get it almost everynight

When that moon gets big and bright

It was supernatural delight

Everybody was dancing in the moonlight..." He continued singing.

"Is it me or am I the only sane person here?" Yusuke asked.

Hiei was still singing. "Everybody here is outta site.

They don't bark and they don't bite

They keep things loose. They keep things light

Everybody was dancing in the moonlight."

Kurama was dancing like Snoopy. "This is my only defense!"

"This is getting off topic. I still need my gel!" Yusuke growled.

The two demons looked at the Detective. "So?"

"I really need it! And I'd seriously scream if it was you Hiei."

Kurama sighed and walked to a drawer. "Here." He pulled the bottle from Yusuke's desk and threw it to him.

"My gel!" Insert hearts.

"Right..." Kurama went back to filing.

"I'm bored..." Hiei started to walk to the closet.

"Don't you dare make out with my broom!" Yusuke growled.

**Later...**

Hiei and Mukuro were watching "Gravitation."

Hiei commented, "I once kissed Yusuke Urameshi. He needed a breath mint."

Mukuro stared. Scoot away, scoot away.

_**End Case 14**_

What is Hiei doing in the closet? To tell you the truth, he's reading scary stories. ...And some manga he borrowed from Mukuro. It's possible.

Notes:

1. Boulavard (sp?) of Broken Dreams is completely owned by Green Day.

2. Hiei was singing "Dancing in the moonlight" (or something like that...). I don't own that. It was... Whoever made it first. The only I know for sure who remade it was Baha Men...

Why was Shigure gay? Who knows! But you know... I bet he keeps random pictures of Hiei somewhere... I'm protect you Hiei!

Hiei: O.O -- Whatever.

And wOOt for Gravitation! However... I'm sorry but this won't become a shounen ai. Seriously. I may do one fis like that in the future but for Yusuke and Hiei and Kurama's sake, it won't happen!

Review!


	15. Mukuro's Cardboard Box?

Murrh... I wasn't feeling all that great last week. My PE team was pissing me off. Well, at least that's over. Sigh. I gotta think of what to do when the fanfic ends. It'd probably be thirty cases long or something like that. I dunno how this'll end. I don't want it to end!

_Voice over_

Normal Stuff

"Speech"

'Thought'

"_Empashis_"

**New Scene**

**Yusuke the Detective**

_Case 15: Mukuro's... Carboard Box?_

_Yawn... I'm sleepy... Well, at least there's no cases today. It's times like this when I wonder what the grim reapers do in their free time..._

**Spirit World**

Some grim reapers and ogres were sitting around a table.

A grim reaper growled, "I'm tired of playing scrabble!"

An ogre growled back, "That's all I have!"

"Same here," another sighed.

"I wish I brought cards..." a grim reaper grumbled.

Botan walked into the room. "I know, let's play Life!" They all agreed.

**Yusuke's Office Again (Blind Game Again!)**

Kurama was sleeping in his ice chest.

_That was when _she _came._

Mukuro broke the door. (No one likes Yusuke's door so they break it... Sorry Yusuke's door.) Evil aura, evil aura...

"HOLY CRAP! What're you doin' here!" Yusuke gasped.

"I lost something," she growled.

"O... Okay but is that a reason to break the door. I swear, why do you people have to be so damn violent?"

Tohma Seguchi appeared, "I lost my hat!"

"Go to your own damn anime! Free loaders..." Kurama growled.

"I lost my marbles," Karasu announced.

"Well, Karasu, look in the next chapter because, unfortunately, I DON"T CARE!" Yusuke cried.

Karasu cried and ran out.

"Whatever, so what you lose?"

Mukuro sweated a little, her eye twitched. "My cardboardbox." Twitch.

"I _what_! Hiei lives in a cardboard box!"

Kurama looked at a box in the corner with a sign that says "NO GIRLS ALLOWED!"

"That sign is new," Yusuke pointed out.

"Well, at least it keeps the fangirls away..."

Fangirl one squealed, "Ooh! It's Hiei's house!"

Fangirl two pouted, "We can't go in."

"Why not?"

"That sign says 'No girls allowed.' "

"Aw, darn!"

"...So why do you need that box, to get started," Yusuke asked.

"Why does it matter?" Mukuro asked.

O.O "You're right..."

Hiei came out of his "house".

"Hiei, did you steal Mukuro's cardboard box?" Yusuke asked.

"Why would I wanna steal a stupid cardboard box? It had to be one of your weird minion (or however you spell it.) type creature things. I mean, a cardboard boxcould stick out like a sore thumb in a giant beetle...BUG thing," he responded.

"You gotta admit he's got a point there," Kurama replied.

"But that's still not an alibi. It's just a serving suggestion," Yusuke said.

'Does this dumb ass know what he's talking about?' Mukuro sweatdropped.

"What do you mean by that?" Kurama asked.

"It means like it sounds," Yusuke said.

"It sounds perverted," Hiei growled.

"Does it...? AUGH!"

Kurama started to dance to "No Style" by Kinya Kotani.

"But, really, why do you need that box?" Yusuke asked Mukuro. "I mean, I have like a hundred boxes here."

"Well, I have stuff in there," Mukuro replied.

Kurama who was still dancing, asked, "Stuff? What kind of stuff?"

No answer.

"Love Stuff", also by Kinya Kotani, started playing.

'Dare I say it?' Mukuro asked herself. And, after a long silence, she replied, "...Love stuff."

Yusuke stared. "Uh... Come again? Do you mean like... Uh... Gravitation DVDs?"

"Lemme guess, yaoi stuff," Hiei replied sacastically. Mukuro got mad and threw him out the window.

"He was kidding, right?" Kurama asked.

"...Oaky! There's a puppy in there!" she finally admited.

"A puppy! Really!"

"N... Yeah."

"A puppy!" Yusuke gasped. "Okay, we're on the case! We just.. Oh, forget it."

**Later**

_Well, this sucks._

"Okay, if you were Mukuro's puppy, where would you be?"

"Uh.. Yusuke, that's not..."

"SHE HAS A PUPPY YOU... FOX! GET OVER IT! I KNOW, I SAW HER AS A CAT PERSON TOO BUT YOU NEED TO ANSWER, WATSON!"

"...Uh..."

Hiei, appeared, "What's happening?"

"Where'd you come from?" Yusuke asked.

Hiei pointed to a trash can.

"And what were you doing in there?" Yusuke asked.

"Some surfer guy threw me in there."

"Right... Any idea where Mukuro's puppy is?"

"Puppy? I thought she lost her box of.."

"Since when do you think! She said she lost a puppy so therefore, it is our job to find who stole it."

"You realize she doesn't have a puppy right?"

"Eh? Well, it's a good learning expeience. So, what's in her box?"

"...I bet it's yaoi."

"It could be a sedimentary rock collection," Kurama suggested.

Yusuke and Hiei raised their eyebrows.

"Or what if she were really a theif and she kept all her loot in there?"

"I'm sure you know all about that kind of stuff..." Yusuke sighed.

_But it's possible. That is unless, she were a murderer and she kept the victim's heads in there... Or their fingers... What a demented soul._

"Or worse, it could be an embarassing photo of me at the Christmas party..." Hiei's eyes narrowed. "The truth must be revealed!" He ran away.

"Hey, Kurama, what'd he do at the Christmas party?" Yusuke asked.

"Dunno," Kurama answered.

"We must brainstorm with..." Yusuke pulled out a microphone and keyboards, and Kurama pulled out a guitar. "...Music! Hit it!" Some music played. "Just a small town girl

Livin' in a lonely world

She took the midnight train goin' anywhere...

"Just a city boy

Born and raised in south Detroit

He took the midnight train goin' anywhere..." Insert Kurama's guitar solo.

"I'm sittin' in a smo-key room

Smell of cigarettes and cheap perfume

Fought a smile, they can share the night..."

'This is what I get for being the side kick,' Kurama thought.

**Ten Minutes Later...**

Hiei returned. Yusuke was singing "All Right!" by... His Japanese voice actor. I don't remember his damn name. Kurama is now dancing to "Spicy Maramalade" by Kinya Kotani.

"I found it!" Hiei announced.

Kurama, who was still dancing, asked, "Really? Where was it?"

"Shigure hid it in Kuwabara's backyard."

Yusuke fininshed his song. "Let's see what's in it."

Hiei lifted the lid, and indeed, the box _was _filled with yaoi stuff. Yusuke walked to a trash can and threw up.

"How can you handle looking at that?" Yusuke asked from the can.

Hiei pulled out a shoe box. "This is what she hid in there..." He opened the box.

"What...? A string...?" Kurama asked.

Mukuro came out of nowhere. "What're you doing?"

"There's you... Barbra Stiesand? String!" Yusuke gasped.

"My secret box? That's what I put in there."

"Ugh, I'm not gonna ask."

_Now we can say case closed and WTF!_

"I'm off now." Mukuro walked away with her box.

"I was scaring myself over a piece of string..." Hiei sighed. "Now I know how Kuwabara feels..." He walked away.

"Nothing makes sense anymore..." Yusuke sobbed.

"...Wanna spit on old man Jenkins and throw rocks at the old florist down on Wilson Way?" Kurama asked.

"Cool! Yeah!"

**Two Hours Later... (Mukuro)**

Mukuro walked into a random room, her eyes shifting. She locked the door and lifted the box lid. "Good thing they didn't pull the string to opent the secret compartment of my scret box to get an embarassing photo of Hiei at the Christmas party!" She laughed out loud.

Her minion things looked around, "What a loon'."

**Hiei**

Hiei sneeezed. "Wow, someone must be talking about me. I hope she's hot."

_...Why does something tell me something weird is going on here?_

_**End Case 15**_

Don't own anything here. Mukuro has to be a cat person. I can't see her with a dog. Hiei, however, does want a dog. He wants one that will listen to him and obey him. Cats listen, but they don't give a crap about it.

I appreciate your reviews Writing Woman, and Kuronue, according to the second movie (which sucked in the English version and was pretty good in the Japanese... At least they used the original actors in the Japanese version...), was Kurama's partner when he was still Youko. Pretty much he dies while they were doing a robbery or whastever word goes with it.

Why did they show Mukuro naked? That is a simple question. You see, after Ruka was gone, Togashi couldn't draw that much "Skin" on his women because we all know they aren't sluts. He oringinally wanted Mukuro to be a guy but at the last minute he said it would be a great plot twist if it turned out _he _was a _she _so decided to show Mukuro's "meat" to prove it so his readers won't say, "How do you know Mukuro's a chick?" That my friens in the (Un) official explaination. (NOT REALLY.)

Review.


	16. Yomi's Lava Lamp

Yay! Halloween is almost here! I wanna cos-play but I can't I guess I'll just go as someone from some other anime...

_voive over_

normal stuff

"speech"

'thought'

**new scene (Hah!)**

**Yusuke the Detective**

_Case 16: Yomi's Lava Lamp_

_Ugh... Another hot day. If I'm lucky, I won't get any cases..._

Yomi burst into the room.

_...Which I'm not._

"Kurama... Was it you?" Yomi growled.

"Was what me?" Kurama asked.

"The lava lamp..."

"You broke the door just because you lost a stupid lava lamp! Why the helll do you need one anyway!" Yusuke growled.

"No one must know..." Yomi's eyes shifted.

_Why the hell are all the Demon World kings crazy? ...Well, queen if you wanna get techincal with Mukuro. ctually I had some thoughts the other day about Mukuro. Why did everyone mistake her for a guy? I mean, is she like flat- chested or something? Come to think of it, why is she appearing all the time all of a sudden? Is she stalking Hiei, who also appears a whole bunch of times?_

"Well, give me one reason to find your lava lamp," Yusuke said.

Yomi pulled out a Michael Bolton CD.

"So?"

Yomi pulled out a Dragon Ball GT DVD.

Yusuke began to sweat. "Ehh..."

He pulled out a DVD player and was about yo put the disk in when Yusuke cried, "Okay!"

"So you'll do it?" Yomi asked.

"Yeah, just step to the side a bit... Yeah, to the left..." Yusuke pushed a button.

Yomi fell down a hole.

"And stay outta the office!"

**Ten Miutes Later...**

Yusuke walked into the bathroom. It sounded like something was coming out of the toilet.

Yusuke kicked a door open. "HA! I caught you...! Kuronue?"

"Boo! I am the toilet ghost..." Kuronue said.

Yusuke slammed the door shut and kicked the next stall shut. "I caught you this time! ...Hiei? What're you doing in here?"

"Some elf bastard threw me in here and tried to flush me down... I'm dizzy... I feel sick..." Hiei gasped for air.

"Who was it?"

"I can't remember..." He flopped out. "Need... Atmosphere..." He passed out. "Let me know if you see a radio shack."

Yusuke's eyes shifted. "I'm paranoid." He turned around. "Holy crap! What're _you_ doin' in here!"

And oddly enough, Mukuro was sitting on the sink, reading a book. "...Reading."

"Well, go to your own sign!"

"I can't..."

"Why the hell not!"

"I'm confused..."

O.o o.O O.O Yusuke ran out.

**Five minutes later... (Laundry room)**

"Yusuke!" Kurama cried to Yusuke who was in a fetal position in the corner. "What's wrong with you?"

"I don't know... I just don't know..." Yusuke mumbled.

Yomi fell through the cieling. "So that's where that hole goes to. Anyway... Now I need a lava lamp in place of the one you broke."

Yusuke waved around a pansy. "Get away you primate!"

"I resent that..." Kurama growled.

The phone suddenly rang.

Yusuke answered it. "What?"

Karasu growled. "Gimme my marbles!"

"No!" He hung up.

Ring.

Answer. "What?"

"Give me my marbles!"

"N..."

"Gimme!"

"No."

"GIMME THEM!"

"NOOOOOO!" Hang up.

Ring... Yusuke ignored it.

Kurama answered it. "Hello?"

"Yomi? What'd you do to your voice?" Raizen asked.

"It's Kurama."

"Put Yomi on the phone."

Yomi got on the phone. "You broke my lava lamp?"

"Yeah and I won't give you another one til you give me my light brites! I'm not Rai! ...Or am I?"

"About the..."

Raizen hung up.

_That was weird. No use throwing me into this one._

"No! I still need my lamp!" Yomi growled.

"Whatever!" Yusuke growled.

"I do!"

"I'll look for it if you step to the side a little... Yeah a little to the left... No... To the right a bit... There!" Yusuke pushed the same button.

Yomi fell down the same hole. "Daaaammmmmnnnn yooooooooooooooouuuuuu..."

"I love my job more than I love taffy..."

_And I'm a man who loves his taffy._

Yusuke jumped into a giant tub of melted taffy. "This rocks!"

"I'm not gonna ask," Kurama sighed when the phone rang.

Kurama answered it, "Yeah?"

"I sold your lava lamp on e-bay, too," Raizen hung up.

"Yusuke, Raizen sold the lamp on e-bay," Kurama said.

"Shh... I'm in my happy place..." Yusuke's eyes were watery.

"Ugh... Screw it."

**Two hours Later...**

Yusuke is now out of the taffy and sleeping on the laundry room floor.

Kuronue appeared again. "Hey, Yusuke! I'm the washer ghost ghost now! Boo..." Insert weird finger gesture.

Yusuke rolled over and sucked his thumb. He suddenly woke up. Kurama was standing over him.

"You suck your thumb?" Kurama asked.

"...? Whatever! What do you want?" he growled.

"The keys to the closet in your office."

Yusuke handed him the keys to the closet.

**Back to the office!**

Shigure, Mukuro, Hiei, and Raizen were all sitting around the lava lamp in the closet. "Ooh... The colors..."

"I thought someone flushed down the toilet," Kurama said to Hiei.

"That's why they aren't here," Hiei growled.

"Is that Yomi's lava lamp?"

Shigure answered, "Yeah."

Long silence.

"Can I join you?"

"Are you Yomi?" Mukuro asked.

"No."

"Have you ever been Yomi?" Raizen asked, despite stares.

"No."

"Sure."

_What... Wait I gotta take this call..._

A femine voice asked, "Have you seen.."

_Karasu. We all know that's you._

"DAMN IT!"

_What the hell just happened?_

_**End case 16**_

Yay. Wild Wind is playing!

lol Mukuro didn't get to me as a yoai person either. I do see her as more of a cat person. But she acts like she wants a dog. Hiei, too. I guess that's why I didn't get many creviews. Oh well. My loyal reviewers... (hug) (Master-of-mustard, I told Yayo about your idea. She cracked up.) I think this will be thirty chapters.

...After this I'll post a AU fic. I'll just leave you hanging on the idea. Hope you read... When it's posted. Depends on when this ends.

Review!


	17. Karasu's Marbles

Yay! I finally got this far! I'm still working on your suggestions so don't feel bad and say "Aw, darn! She's not gonna use my idea!" so don't tell me to put those cases up cause I've have freakin' writer's block! Yayo says I need to watch anime but I haven't had the chance... Damn you homework... SCHOOL IS STRIPPING ME OF MY NET LIFE!

...And my friend flamed a chapter I wrote during school... I feel bad. I hope she isn't following me in here either... I'll shut up and get on with it.

_voice over 1_

**voice over 2**

normal stuff

"Speech"

'thought'

**new scene**

"_Emphasis_"

**Yusuke the Detective**

_Case 17: Karasu's marbles_

_Whelp, I'm goin' on a trip... To see my insane cousins in Hokkaido. This means that if Hiei, and Kuwabara don't answer their phones, then Kurama'll get stuck with Amanuma. Gee, I hope he's not mad abot that last case he was on._

"Yusuke, why don't you leave everything to me? I'm not five you know. Everybody else agrees that I should be the detective anyway," Kurama said.

"You _want_ me to leave you with the Demon World Kings/Queen and Shigure? (Who does?)" Yusuke growled.

"Shutting up!" Sweat drop.

"Well, anyway..."

"Hey, Yusuke! Hurry up or we'll miss the plane!" Autsuko (Yusuke's mom for anyone who doesn't know) growled.

Yusuke muttered, "I honestly wish we did."

"What was that...?" Evil aura...

"Nothing mom!"

She dragged Yusuke out. "Say goodbye to your girlfriend later."

"Wait I'm a..." Kurama cried, but they left before he finished. "...Boy." He sighed.

**Well, I guess I'm the detective now. I'd be lucky if Kuronue didn't show up.**

Hiei came out of the closet and yawned. "What was with all the noise?"

"Hiei, what were you doing in the closet?" Kurama asked.

"Kuronue won't get out of my house. He's supposedly the box ghost now."

"Ugh. And those damn Ghost Busters won't do anything about it."

Karasu broke the door, his eyes shifting. Then he saw Kurama. "KURAMA!" He tried to golmp the fox.

Kurama sprayed him with pepper spray.

"Why are you so mean, Kurama?" Karasu's eyes teared up.

"Karasu, go be stupid somewhere else," Hiei growled.

"NO!" Karasu started to cry. "This has to be the worst day of my life! First I lose my marbles..."

"You lost your _marbles_?"

"He's been insaned. It took you til just now to realize that?" Kurama growled.

"No, literally! Woe is me!" Karasu sobbed.

"Karasu, go be you somewhere else."

Karasu threw a baseball at Kurama's head.

**I have to wonder who would steal Karasu's marbles. Who knows what the hell he does with those things!**

"But the marbles... They are the source of my... _Sanity!_"

"What sanity?" Hiei growled.

Karasu threw a marble at Hiei's head.

"So, you lost your marbles?" Kurama asked sarcastically.

"That's my last marble left!"

"Well, that's too bad. I'm confiscating this," Hiei put the marble in his pocket.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" Karasu threw a tantrum.

"Whatever."

"I like..." Eyes narrow. "_Cereal."_

"How nice."

In a creepy voice, he repeated, "I like..." Eyes narrow. "_Cereal."_

"Screw you."

"I LIKE CEREAL!" Karasu threw Hiei out the door to knock Mukuro down the stairs. He turned around, his mouth foamimg. "I like chocolate milk."

Kurama pulled out a chair and his Rosewhip. "Stay back!"

"Crack that whip!"

"I'm on the case! Just don't say that again!"

**Ten minutes later...**

**Who am I kidding? What _moron _would steal Karasu's marbles?**

"Hey there, mate? What's with your ugly dog?" Chu asked.

Kurama, who had Karasu on a leash, asked, "Chu! Did you steal Karasu's marbles?"

"Why would I want marbles?" He walked away.

"Ugh. Why couldn't Yusuke be here?"

**Yusuke**

Yusuke's grandpa... Grandpa Dave was talking about the good old days as he threw his teeth in the dish washer.

'I wish I was home...' Yusuke thought.

**Kurama**

"If I were a random idiot who steal marbles, where would I be? ...Hm... I've got it! Come on, Karasu!" Kurama dragged the bomber, who was sniffing a fire hydrant.

**Ten minutes later...**

Kurama was knocking on a cardboard box. "Kuronue!"

"I am the box ghost..." Kuronue said. "Who dares awaken me?"

Kurama pointed to himself.

"Kurama!" Heart.

"I have a question."

"Did you steal any marbles?"

Kuronue slammed the lid.

"That could've gone better."

Raizen came in the room. "Look at the hole in my pants!"

"Raizen, did you take any...?" Kurama didn't finish.

"Marbles? Nah... I have my own. Ask Shigure."

"I'm getting somewhere!"

**Shigure**

"Nope, I don't need any marbles," Shigure replied.

Through gritting teeth, Kurama growled, "Why not?"

Eye shift. "I am too sexy for marbles!"

"I recall you saying that you were too sexy for novels."

"Yeah, so?"

"What is that?"

"What?"

"What you're writing."

"This, my sexy fox-friend is not a novel, but an _autobiography._"

Karasu then threw Shigure in the dumpster.

"Thanks, you did us all a favor."

**Back to the office...**

**I fell stupid now. Where's Karasu's marbles? who stole them and...**

Karasu was licking Kurama's face.

**Wouls someone get this freak away from me?**

Kurama threw a baseball, which hits Mukuro on the head. (Mukuro: I hate you people. --) "Fetch."

"No."

"Yes."

Karasu licked Kurama's face.

"Go away!"

Karasu wasn't listening.

"I'm trying to think."

Karasu stuck out his tongue.

"Do you not understand me!" He shook Karasu, but then a marble fell out of Karasu's pocket. "What the...?"

"My marbles! My sanity!"

"...Bastard!" He threw Karasu out the window.

_**End Case 17**_

Poor Kurama.

Review time! I'll do this just to let it slide.

KillersXInXIce- Sorry about makin' you lose your notebook.

Fox Soul- Yay! a lot of reviewers left because this got too weird. That's why my friend must hate me now.

Demon Crow- Well, Kuronue's the Box Ghost. Be happy.

I'm surprised about how many people enjoy the OOc-ness...

Hey, remember in the Japanese version when Yusuke said "Kurama, take off your clothes!"? (it was when Kurama was fighting Gama.)

Review please. Or pay. Fifty cents to be exact.


	18. The Insanity of Youko Kurama

...So... Meh. Can't think.

Sigh. First three day weekend and I didn't update more than I usually do.On to chapter er, case eighteen. YOUKO APPEARS! XD And for the record, I don't own Bewitched.

Yukina spends her free time thinking...  
...Evil thoughts about torturing Kuwabara.

**Kurama's voice over**

Normal Stuff

"Speech"

'thought'

"_emphasis"_

**New scene**

**Yusuke the Detective**

_Case 20: The Insanity Of Youko Kurama_

**It's been a month now and Yusuke _still_ hasn't returned. Come to think of it, he never did say when he was coming home...**

Kurama talked into a phone, "No, Touya, I don't have your fire extinguisher." To Chu he said, "Chu, Rinku said something about whatever you're looking for." On another phone he said, "Suzuka, I suggest plastic surgery." He hung up both phones (How many phones did Yusuke put in there? And why should be the bigger question.) and Chu left.

**This week had to be the busiest.**

"Hiei, did you ever hear Yusuke say anything about coming back?" Kurama asked.

"He should come back. But no. Didn't hear anything," Hiei replied.

"Ugh..." Kurama slid in his chair. "THIS WHOLE DETECTIVE THING'S GOT ME STRESSED! HOW CAN YUSUKE TAKE IT! HE DOESN'T EVEN DO HIS DAMN HOMEWORK!"

"I dunno. I thought you could handle this..."

"Well, I can't! You demented little... _Thing!_"

O.O "Well, fine! No cookies for you!"

"Cookies? What kind?"

"Oatmeal raisin."

Kurama threw Hiei out the window.

Kuwabara walked into the room. "Hey, Kurama. Where's Urameshi? Did he sneak outta the house again?"

"Primates!" Kurama's mouth foamed. ("Canines!" Hiei's mouth foamed. ...Don't we all wish he did do that?)

"Is that really healthy?"

Kurama picked Kuwabara up.

"I don't think this is really ethical."

"Your face isn't ethical!"

"Hey...! When did I start wearing a watch?"

Kurama threw him (I should've typed "it" instead...) out the window."Everyone one must die!" The fox ran around in cicles.

Hiei, who came out of nowhere which is still unknown to the author-ess type person, ran into a random room and somehow got stuck to the cieling. "Is it me or is this making less and less sense?"

Maya (See "Two Shots" from the YYH manga...) looked up. "Hi! I'm half minute Maya! I do stuff and forget about it half a minute later!"

"Gee, I would've figured..."

"What're you doing up there? Was it a ghost? Otherworldly powers are gluing you to the cieling! They are connecting you to the Spirit World! The Exorcist!"

O.O "No..."

"Is it an alien? They're abuducting you but you're stuck because the cieling's in the way! They want your body..." (So do the fangirls.) Twitch. "For probing!" (if that's what they wanna call it...)

"I'm sure that's not the case... And it's been half a minute."

Blank look. "Hi, I'm half minute Maya! I do stuff and forget about it half a minute later!"

"So let's say you're cooking..."

"I'd burn the kitchen! That's why Mom doesn't let me go near the kitchen and that's also why she doesn't let me go near that Minamino boy! She says he's _evil_ but also sexy at the same time!" XD (...She remembered that...? Wait. What?)

"Let's say you went into a time zone..."

"That doesn't change the fact that I foget..." Blank look. "Hi, I'm half minute Maya! I do stuff and foget about it half a minute later!"

"So I've noticed..."

"What're you...?"

"Aliens want my body!"

"Gasp!"

"Yeah! Just get me down!"

Kurama ran into the room and turned into Youko.

"Wow! He's sexy!" Blank look. "Hi, I'm half minute Maya! I do stuff and foget about it..."

"I hate Bewitched!" Youko threw her out the window.

Raizen walked in."Hey, where should I put a hole in my pants?"

Youko slashed him across the face.

"That's perfect!" He tore a big hole in his left knee. "Hey, Yomi! Look at the hole in my pants!"

"WHY IS EVERYONE YELLING!" Mukuro screamed.

Hiei fell off the cieling and started to cry. Everyone else started to cry. Hiei started to laugh. Everybody threw him in the dumpster.

"MAIL CALL RETARDS!" Shura screameed as he threw letters at people's heads.

Kuwabara randomly appeared and picked up a letter. "...Wha? ...AUGH!"

Everyone looked at him. "What?"

"I was thinking how the anime ended but the manga didn't."

"Right..." Jin sighed.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" (I want someone to count the !s and the Hs. XD)

"Was that for the manga also?" Yomi sighed.

"No! Urameshi's been kidnapped!"

"Wha...?"

The Note read:

_**Uh... Yusuke's gone...**_

_**...Uh...**_

_**Take that you buttwipe!**_

_**Yeah... Buttwipe.**_

"NO! I'm melting!" Raizen melted, stating the obvious.

**Ten seconds later...**

"Kurama, I need you to drink me..." the liquidfied...Whatever kind of demon Raizen is... whimpered.

Youko slapped the pitcher. "I hate Bewitched."

"I can dance again!" Raizen did an Irish jig.

"But you still have to clean the bathroom," Mukuro replied.

"NO! I'm melting!"

**Ten seconds later...**

Youko was taped to the corner. "I hate Bewitched! Yomi stole my cup! Bastard!"

"Kuwabara I need you to drink me," Raizen said. (I don't think you really want him to do that.)

"No."

"Drink me!"

"NO!"

"DRINK ME!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" He slapped the pitcher.

"I'm solid again."

"Screw it. Let's find that dumb ass. AND KARASU DON'T TOUCH KURAMA!" Hiei growled.

Karasu stared, in shock. Insert four panels. Lone tear.

**Ten minutes later...**

"So how're we supposed to know where to find him?" Shishi asked.

"Maybe they took him to get a make over! He's like unfabulous!" Suzuka replied in a girly way.

"We could always ask Kuronue," Hiei commented.

"How can you ask a box ghost!"

"...Don't you have anything better to do?" Touya asked.

"Not til four..." Suzuka asked.

"How 'bout this? We split up," Hiei suggested.

"You're not a NoName!" Shigure growled.

"You're not a novelist."

Shigure's eyes shifted and then he cried.

"...Yusuke does need a make over..." Shishi commented.

"I hate Bewitched!" Youko growled.

"Shut up," Yomi spat.

He threw a table at the... whatever kind of demon Yomi is...'s head. (I think Yomi is an elf.) "I hate Bewitched."

Koenma broke in, "Yeah, and I hate Botan. She turned me into a newt."

All stared. "A newt?"

"It got better."

Youko threw a bottle at his head. "I hate Bewitched!"

"Here, have an ice cream," Rando handed him one.

Youko slapped the demon's hand. "I hate Bewitched!"

"That had peanuts."

"I hate peanuts!"

"This one's chocolate."

"I hate laxatives!" He slapped the ice cream.

"I honestly hope so..." Shura mumbled.

"That was chocolate!" Rando cried.

"How do you know Yusuke's not with his cousins?" Keiko asked. (I guess she never looked at the note.)

**Keiko you suck. No one cares about you.**

"That's not true!"

"I hate you," Youko threw Keiko in the dumpster. (Those things are everywhere!)

"Is it me or is this getting off topic?" Touya sighed.

"Kurama, you stay with Tarukane. Tarukane, you watch Kurama like I would stalk him if I wasn't blind," Yomi commanded.

"Durrhhh..." Tarukane drooled. "Pizza..."

"I have a hole in my pants," Raizen commented.

"Yeeeeee..." Snoooooooooore...

**Ten minutes later...**

"Why didn't we look in the dumpster? That's where I'd be if I was hiding," Raizen commented.

Hiei stared. "Whatever. Wait. Wha...? Where's Kurama!"

"I don't..." Tarukane fell asleep.

"This sucks. You suck. Everything sucks," Mukuro said.

"Cool!" Shura cheered onl;y to get thrown in the dumpster.

"Now the smart one's gone. What do we do now?" Jin asked.

"We..." Hiei fell asleepbut then woke up. "What?"

"My name is Karasu and I like..." Karasu's eyes narrowed. "Cereal."

"Whatever," Rinku replied.

In a creepy voice the bomber repeated, "I like cereal."

"Okay."

"I LIKE CEREAL!"

Rinku threw a yo-yo at his head.

"We could always get the NoNames," Shigure suggested.

"Yeah, let's do that," Hiei replied.

_**End Case 18**_

_**To be continued...**_

So it wasn't a case! DEAL WITH IT!

...I don't like how the English manga spells things. LUKA! GET OUTTA THE MANGA LUKA! THE GUYS WANT RUKA! As for Touya... You can spells it a lot of ways like Youko's name. Yohko. Youko. Yoko. Yokou?

I don't have anything against Mukuro. I just torment her and Hiei. I MOCK HIEI/ MUKURO PAIRINGS! But I think it is cute. O.o

Blah-blah-blah...

What would you do for a Klodike bar? I dunno? I guess it's reall that good if people do stupid stuff for it. I'd... I'd look at all the Hiei/ Kurama pics at XD

Review please!


	19. Kurama Kidnapped!

JC:Yay. Oh... I just remembered I forgot the notes last case so I'll do that before I forget... Again.  
Hiei: You're a moron.  
JC:SHUT UP AND EAT YOUR ICE CREAM! Anyway...

1. NoNames- I'm sure not very many people reading this read the "I Wear My Sunglasses at Night" fanfic so you wouldn't know. It's not really that important though. They're basically Yuyu Hauksho characters that aren't put in that many fanfics. (i.e. Rando, Suzaku, Rinku, ect.) They're also lead by Touya to destroy the other characters that are put in more fanfics... Fun, huh?

2. "YOMI STOLE MY CUP! BASTARD!"- I've written this before... In my head! XD The story goes like this...

_Youko: I have a favorite cup. Kuronue stole it for me. Yomi stole it. I found out Yomi stole my cup. I am angry. Yomi went blind. We never made up. Hiss..._

_Voice over 5 (to be explained?)_

normal stuff

"speech"

'thought'

**new scene**

**Yusuke the Detective**

_Case 19: Kurama Kidnapped!_

"What do you mean Kurama's gone!" Hiei growled.

Tarukane drooled. "I like pie..."

Hiei's eyes narrowed. "I'm sure you do."

"I'm melting! No!" Raizen screamed.

**Ten minutes later... (Back to Yusuke's office)**

"Hiei, I need you to drink me," Raizen said.

Hiei dumped the liquified Raizen on the floor.

"So what're we gonna do now that Kurama's gone?" Jin asked.

"Ask Kuwabara. Togashi wasn't gonna rop him and do more with Kurama. Come to think of it, what would the anime be like without me?" Hiei replied.

Shura stuck out his tongue. "Togashi doesn't love you!"

"No one cares about you Shura! Not even the NoNames!"

Shura started to cry. ...But no one cared.

"So who wouls kidnap Kurama?" Yomi asked.

Everybody stared at him.

"Other than me."

Everybody stared at Shura.

"Other than Shura."

Everybody stared at Karasu.

"I was with you the whole time!" Karasu pouted.

"So what now?" Hiei asked.

Everybody turned to Kuwabara. (You guys should know better! Kuwabara got a 7 on his science test!)

"What're you looking at me for?" Kuwabara whined. (I know!)

"Togashi likes you more than Hiei. I mean, he wasn't gonna drop you or anything..." Rinku replied.

"Yeah, well... I admit it! I am stupid! Hiei, you're smarter than me, think of something!"

"How 'bout not?" Hiei sighed.

"Raizen, what should we do?" Kuwabara asked.

"I'd get an ice cream!" he replied.

**Ten minutes later...**

Everyone was standing outside an... Ice cream... thing. Whatever you call it.

"No, this won't work... We need to be thinking like a crimal mastermind. Hiei!" Kuwabara pointed at the koorime.

"I'm not a crimnal mastermind, asshole!" Hiei growled.

"Mukuro!"

"I didn't do anything," she growled.

Kuronue appeared out of nowhere. "I am the..." He looked at the sky. "Sunny ghost!" It suddenly started to rain. "Hiss! It burns us..."

"You saw who kidnapped Kurama, right?" Kuwabara asked.

"Someone _what_!"

"Nevermind then."

Maya came out of nowhere. "I can remember again!"

"Do you remember who kidnapped Kurama?" Kuwabara asked.

"Kurama? What?"

"Shuichi!"

"Oh! Yeah, it was..." A baseball hit her head. "Ow!" Blank look. "Hi, I'm half minute Maya! I dop stuff and forget about it half a minute later."

"Ugh! So close! Hiei, why didn't you use your stupid Jagan Eye to make sure Kurama was still there! I bet it was the same person who got Urameshi!"

"Yeah, but why? Kurama's pretty like Eiri Yuki! He doesn't need a makeover!" Shishi replied.

"Makeovers burns us..." Kuronue hissed.

"No NoNames?" Shigure asked.

"Screw the NoNames!" Hiei growled.

Shigure cried.

"NoNames..." Tarukane fell asleep. "...Piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiie..."

"Actually, Yomi, this is mostly your fault because you made this fat ass watch him," Mukuro commented.

"I'm not a fat ass!" Tarukane drooled. "Pizza... You're kinda hot..."

Mukuro stabbed him with a spork. (Fear the spork...)

"She has a point," Touya responded.

"Sure, point fingers..." Yomi growled.

"Raindrops keep falling on my head..." Raizen sang. (That's really a song.)

"My sanity is going down the drain..." Mukuro sighed.

"Wow! I haven't bathed in weeks!" Kuwabara commented.

"Let's get out of the rain," Hiei said.

"It burns us..." Kuronue added.

"Pitter patter!" Raizen continued singing.

**Yusuke's Office (Again!)**

"Urameshi's gone... Kurama's gone... Who next! Hiei!" Kuwabara growled.

"We have to keep our guard up if we don't wanna go next..." Touya said.

"Yeah, but why would someone kidnap them?" Rinku asked.

"The NoNames would know," Amanuma said.

"What did I say about the NoNames?" Hiei growled.

Shigure started to cry again.

An alarm suddenly went off.

Shura screamed at the top of his lungs. "MAIL CALL!" He threw letters at people's heads.

Kuwabara picked up a letter. "AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" (Try counting now.)

"What?" Raizen asked.

The note read:

_**...Dude, I got Urameshi.**_

_**I also got Kurama.**_

_**So what now?**_

_**Go unknown guy. It's you birthday.**_

"It's this guy's birthday," Kuwabara commented.

"Whatever. Shura, can you trace the letter back to its sender?" Hiei asked.

"That's what the return address is for, stupid," Shura growled.

"What's a return address?"

"What if there was no return address?" Mukuro asked.

"You're fault!" Shura laughed.

Mukuro threw him out the window.

"Kuwabara, look for the return address," Hiei commanded. "Kuwabara? Someone took him? Well, damn! Anyone see what happened to him?"

"I heard someone say they had to take a leak!" Kuronue asnwered.

"Thanks for that little bit of info..."

"What does that mean anyway?"

"You don't wanna know."

"Tarukane, look at the return address."

"He's gone," Touya said.

"Wha...? Where the hell is he!" Hiei growled.

"We left him out in the rain," Karasu replied.

"Really? Fat ass bastard."

"Could it be possible that Tarukane kidnapped them?" Kaitou asked.

"Shut up, Kaitou! No one cares about you!"

Kaitou started to cry. ...But no one cared.

"I suggest plastic surgery," Shishi commented.

"The return address says it's from 1509 Nakano Street. Centeral Park..." Yomi stared at the address in disbelief.

"Isn't that in New York?" Touya asked. (Don't ask me, I'm in California.)

_Come to think of it, wasn't that where the empty lot was? O.o When'd I start the voice over? Ugh... I'll never be able to get over this..._

"Oh, yeah! I heard about that in the arcade!" Amanuma replied.

"How much I hate the voice over?" Hiei asked.

"No! They closed the empty lot for constuction."

"...To make a park."

"I guess."

"Ugh. Fine, let's go."

"Hey, I thought you hated them!" Raizen burst. (I'm running out of words for "Said". It sounds like he blew up... XD)

"Kuwabara I won't help. Yusuke I can do without. As for Kurama, we need some intellegence in here."

Everybody turned to Yanagisawa (That's ten letters.), who was picking his nose until he noticed he was being watched. "What?"

Everybody turned away. This allowed Yana to start picking his ear and laughed.

_That's what I'm talking about._

"Yes, we need someone as beautiful as _I_ and Eiri Yuki. We need Kurama and not some scruffy midget like you or an ugly bastard like Chu and Shishi!" Suzuka replied.

"What? I heard my name..." Chu looked around.

"Hey!" Shishi growled.

"Oho ho ho! You're right here!" Suzuka started to laughed.

"Uh... Sure, but you know everyone left?" Rinku asked. No one was listening. "Screw it. I'm going."

"Will they make it in time? Can Yusuke, Kuwabara, and Kurama be saved? Will I ever dress like a normal person? Will Lord Kurama marry me? Will..." Jorge, the ogre, was interupted.

"Ogre shut up!" Koenma growled.

_**End Case 19**_

Wow... Oh, I've already ended this fanfic. I write everything here ahead of time (I'm already on chapter ten of that AU fic I mentioned.) so I can't take any other suggestions. You can still send them if you want, but I'll have to put it in as a side story or this whole thing will get confusing. Sorry for the inconvience.

Bara-minamino, I really appreciated all your reviews, but you really didn't need to review each chapter like that. You can, like, condense it... (shrugs) I was surpised that someone counted the H's and the !'s. I forgot about that... XD I like the manga just so I can make comments in my head about stuff and do weird fanarts... XD

Oh, yeah... If you don't know Maya, tell me in a review and I'll try to send you "Two Shots"...

Uh... Review or I'll show Hiei a picture of his grandma's feet!  
Hiei: Help... Me...


	20. Meet the Mastermind

Yay! I dunno what to put here, but whatever... Yomi wanted to be a dentist! Haha Speed Racer references haha!

_Yusuke's voice over_

_Hiei's voice over_

normal stuff

**new scene**

"speech"

'thought'

**Yusuke the Detective**

_Case 20: Meet the mastermind_

_Nakano Street... So we find Central Park..._

"Central park should be by the whales and south from the penguins and perpendicular to the sea lions," Hiei read off a map.

"Come again?" Touya asked.

"By the whales. South from the penguins. Perpenduclar to the sea lions."

"Let me see that!" Mukuro snatched the map from Hiei.

"That's a map of Marine World..." Raizen sweat dropped.

"That explains a lot..." Hiei mumbled.

"We're on Nakayoshi street," Rinku said.

"Isn't that in Kyoto?" Keiko asked.

"You took us to Kyoto?" Yomi growled.

"Let's retrace our steps..." Hiei sighed.

"I'm way ahead of you!" Raizen pointed at a paint trail he left behind.

"Sure..."

**Tokyo**

"Let's try this again."

**Mexico**

"No."

**Italy**

"No."

**Canada**

"Ugh..."

**Ireland**

**Peru**

"NO! Let's..."

"Follow me. _I_ know where we're going," Keiko growled.

_No one cares about you Keiko._

Evil aura, evil aura...

_Nevermind._

**Tokyo**

"There! We're at Central Park now!" Keiko made an obnoxious gin.

"Are these people supposed to look boxy?" Shizuru asked.

"Hee... Blockheads..." Kuronue laughed.

"Holy cow! It's like Katamari Damacy where you play this little prince guy that rolls stuff into this katamari ball..." Amanuma froze.

Everybody turned around and, wouldn't you know it, the Katamari Prince was standing there with a grin and his eyes as squinty as ever.

"Wow! It's smaller than Hiei is!" Zeru's pile of ashes commented.

The prince went to roll them up.

"This is fun!" Raizen cheered.

**Later...**

Everyone was all torn up.

"Lemme try this again..." Hiei said.

"No! I'm not going through all that again! I'm fast-forwarding this!" Yomi pushed a remote button. Then, everyone was surrounded by bombs.

"You dumb ass! You fast-forwarded wrong!" Mukuro growled. Shura kicked Yomi and the bombs blew up.

"It makes me glad to be ashes sometimes..." Zeru's ashes sighed.

**Later... Again.**

"That sucked. Now..." Hiei was interupted.

"No! I'm fast forwarding right this time!" Yomi pushed a button again.

"We did it!" Kuronue cheered.

"Is it me or does Central Park look a little... feudal?"

"Oh, look it's me! Hi, Raizen!" Raizen waved at himself. "I'm so cute."

"We went back in time!" Shura complained. (Whiny little bastard.)

"I guess we'll have to relive our lives..." Yomi sighed. Everybody growled and grabbed their old stuff and walked away.

**A few hundred years later...**

"Okay. I know where Central Park is," Hiei said.

"I'll fast forward right this time!" Yomi pushed the button.

**Central Park**

"Wow, you actually did it," Mukuro said.

Murota (Was that the mind reader guy's name?) smiled. "Let's see what she's really thinking..."

'...Pie.' Elevator music played.

"You're disturbing."

Jin flew to a builing. "Unknow Guy's house. Enter at your own risk." He turned the knob. "It's locked."

In Dee's voice, Chu called out,"Where are you Ryo?"

JJ came out of nowhere and screamed, "DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" (Count the E's and the !'s) and broke the door.

"That was... weird," Suzaku commented.

"Hey what if the kidnapper was the creator of Hawaiian punch?" Raizen asked.

"Should you care?"

"IT'S MADE IN TEXAS! _TEXAS_! So it's Texas punch! It's confused..."

Hiei broke a door. "Yusuke, are you in there!" A woman screamed and threw a cat at his head. "Okay, maybe not..."

Yusuke came out of a door. "We're in here." He went back in but came out shortly after. "I forgot to lock it." He went back in.

Rando turned the knob. "It's locked!"

"Everybody stand back! DRAGON OF THE DARKNESS FLAME!" Thev door was still okay. "Aw, damn."

"Lemme see..." Kuronue flew to the door. "Lock picking technique!" The door opened. "Yay! I freed them!"

"Not quite..." A voice echoed. The lights went out.

_Screw this!_ Yusuke Spirit Gunned the wall and everybody ran out.

**Ten seconds later...**

Somehow everyone ended up in a daycare center.

_I don't remember being this difficult when I was a chibi._

**Flashback**

"YUSUKE, QUIT THROWING STUFF!" Atsuko screamed as baby Yusuke threw stuff across the room.

The chibi stared.

"Phew!"

Yusuke threw a rattle at her head.

"He can't be reformed..."

**End flashback**

"I know," Kuwabara added.

**Flashback**

Baby Kuwabara was banging his head against the wall.

"You're stupid," Shizuru said.

**End flashback**

"Hmm..." Kurama thought back.

**Flashback**

"Wow! What a cute fox!" a random demon was about to hug him. Chibi Youko hissed and a demon plant ate the other demon.

**Flashback**

Kurama was now chibi Shuichi. He was sleeping on the front lawn.

"He's cute!" the same demon as before said.

"Didn't you die?"

The demon ran away.

**End flashback**

"Oh, damn you people!" Hiei growled.

**Flashback**

Hiei was rolling a ball back and forth with another demon which could be a fox demon but I dunno since I never really paid attention when Hiei was talking about his past. I make it up in my mind though...

Another demon came. "Can I play?"

He was ignore by Hiei's play mate.

Hiei stopped to suck his thumb and noticed the other demon who was still there. Hiei cut its head off.

**End flashback**

"My turn!" Raizen cheered.

**Flashback**

Raizen was in a field with sheep. "He he he..." He covered his body with his hair and got on four legs.

The shepard came. "Oh, what a cute sheepy! You're so..."

Raizen beat the crap out of him.

**End flashback**

"What...?" Mukuro looked around.

**Flashback**

Mukuro was... doing something.

"You're a hardworking young man!" some guy patted her on the back.

"But I'm a girl!"

Awkward. "What a nice wife you'll make for some lucky man one day..."

Mukuro threw a rock at his head.

**End flashback**

"What's going on?" Yomi asked.

**Flashback**

Chibi Yomi was working in Santa's shop.

A girl came in. "I need to go home."

"Follow the yellow brick road!"

The girl walked away.

An elf came. "You're working hard!"

"But I want to be a dentist!"

"Too bad bitch!" The elf smacked him.

**End flashback**

_That we didn't need to see, Yomi._

"Haha Yusuke Urameshi haha! I am your kidnapper haha!" Sensui appeared.

"You were kidnapped by this retard!" Hiei growled.

"Haha that's right haha!"

"What the (Fruit)..." Raizen was interupted.

"You can't use that language here," Shura said.

"Well, (Fruit) this then! (FRUIT!) I didn't say anything!"

"wOOt!" Kurama cheered.

_**End case 20**_

I don't own Speed Racer, just so you know.

Notes?

1. JJ? Dee? What?- They're characters in FAKE and you really don't need to know much. It's not important.

2. It's Hawaiian punch- I checked. It was made in Texas.

3. Haha- Speed Racer had weird mouth movements and weirder voice acting.

Hiei was saved. But he can't escape his grandma's stories... He can't get over Togashi and almost being dropped for Kurama in the spotlight...By the way... I'm confused about the reply thing. I know what to do. I'm just weirded out by why appeared out of nowhere.

I also got the idea of the Daycare scene from "Final Fanatsy Daycare" on Newgrounds. (Don't own.) You should check it out. What can I say? I wanted hot pockets.

Review!


	21. Nasal Spray

Wow. Didn't get many reviews this time. I guess I disturbed people with Yomi. I don't care what you guys say! Yomi's an elf!

I also make references to the last DVD. If you don't get what I'm talking about, just think of it as a original character.

_Voice over_

normal stuff

"speech

'thought'

"_emphasis_"

**new scene**

**Yusuke the Detective**

_Case 21: Nasal Spray_

_In my chair again. At the desk. In my office. In the street. In Tokyo. In Japan. In Aisia. In the Eastern Hemishere. On the planet Earth. In Inner Space. In the Milky Way. In the universe. It's been pretty quiet here. I guess that whole kidnapping fiasco stopped crime._

Kurama was in his ice chest, asleep. Hiei was frowning as he did Kurama's filing.

"We didn't do that many case, did we?" Yusuke asked.

Kurama came out of the chest. "Well, to be honest, you've done thirteen, er, we." (I think I counted wrong.)

"What would you guys say if I gave up this detective work?"

"Well, I'd have to say- What the (fruit)!" Hiei replied.

"That's my line!" Raizen pouted.

"I'd say- Come again? And laugh because I said come." Kuwabara said.

"Well, I'd say that's okay..." Kurama replied.

"Kurama..." Yusuke was interupted.

"I NEED YOUR HELP!" the giant nose demon cried as it burst through the door. (Come to think of it, didn't he come out as Snout in the credits?)

Everybody screamed.

_Right when I was gonna have a moment._

"Go ahead, I'm not listening. I'm hard of hearing anyway..." (I'm sure you are.)

"But... I'm gonna need you all to leave the room," Yusuke replied.

"Except me?" Kurama blinked twice.

Nod, nod.

"No! Hiei, protect me!"

"Back off, bitch! I claimed him first!" the giant nose demon hit Kurama with his nose. "Ow!"

O.o Kurama hit him with a broom.

He started chewing on the fox's leg. (XD Sounds weird...)

Kurama continued whacking him with his broom.

"Alrighty then," Yusuke said, sweatdropping.

"CHILDREN!" Hiei yelled.

"I LOVE YOU! You smell good!" the demon stopped chewing on Kurama's leg. (Kurama: Glad that's over.)

"I'm sure I do."

The demon tried to hug Hiei.

Hiei threw him out the window. (The authoress is listening to Don't Stop Believin'... XD)

Somehow, the demon, now being refurred to as Snout because no one wants to type the demon or the giant nose demon a hundred times, was hugging Hiei's leg. ...If that was possible.

"Wha... How'd you...?"

"I love you!"

"Between you and Shigure..."

"Shigure..." Snout's eyes narrowed.

"Let's get this chapter over with! What're you missing?" Yusuke asked. (Wheel in the sky keeps turning...)

"My nasal spray."

"Your... _What_!"

"Nasal spray. That's a medicine for the nose (Am I right?), particularly allergies," Kurama explained.

"Okay... So why do you need your nasal spray?" Yusuke asked.

"I have allergies, retard," Snout growled.

Kurama was shocked. 'If his nose is that big and if he sneezes then... We'd have a category five hurricane!' (I dunno either...) He quickly asked Snout, "Who would take your nasal spray?"

"Mukuro or Shigure or Shura or Raizen. And maybe Sensui."

"Let's start with Shigure," Hiei sighed.

**Shigure**

_We found the place he was was hiding at. But we need a password to get in._

"What was the password again?" Hiei asked.

"You're supposed to say 'Do you like my dress?' and he's supposed to say 'I saw one for half off at JC Penny.' " Snout replied.

"It's not a dress! It's a robe." (if that's what he wants to call it. I still say it's a shirt.)

"Just go!" Yusuke pushed him so Hiei knocked over some card board boxes.

"Who goes there!" Shigure growled.

"Gimme my nasal spray!" Snout growled.

"I don't have it!"

"Give it bitch! I'm warning you... My nose is fully loaded..."

"Let's find Mukuro!" Kurama ran away.

**Mukuro (Anyway you want it! That's the way you do it!)**

Mukuro was watching FAKE with Ryuichi Sakuma.

"Your TV _still _hasn't been fixed?" Yusuke asked.

Ryuichi saw JJ. "That's my idol."

To Ryuichi, Mukuro asked "Do I know you?"

"So Mukuro, did you steal the giant nose demon's nasal spray?" Yusuke asked.

"Why would I steal nasal spray?" Mukuro asked.

"You gotta be allergic to something..."

"Not really."

"Flowers, dogs, cats, Shigure, weeds, dust..."

"You don't bathe much, do you?"

"Hey, I bathed fifteen days ago!"

O.o "I'm gonna pretend I didn't just here that..."

"_Anyway_... Hiei, peanuts, Zerowing, pepper, horses, pollen, dander..."

Hiei gave Mukuro a flower, but she sneezed.

"Ha! You're allergic to..." Yusuke watched Ryo and Dee.

"I'm not allergic to flowers and if I was, why would I take someone else's spray?"

"That's a good point," Kurama said.

Raizen randomly appeared. "Joni loves chachi."

"Raizen! Did you..." Yusuke was interupted.

"Steal nasal spray? No! I have my own. I use it on my penguin. Say hi Roy!"

Roy stared. "Muuuuurrrrhhh..."

"You wanna cookie? Hahaha! You tossed you cookies! Here have another. Hahaha! You tossed your cookies!"

**Shura**

_I hope it was Shura. I don't wanna see Sensui._

"Haha Here I am! Ha ha!" Sensui waved his arms around. "My precious..."

"Hey, wouldn't it be easier if you had Hiei use his Jagan eye?" Kurama asked.

"Oh yeah... You heard the fox Hiei! ...Hiei?" Yusuke looked around.

**Hiei**

"She didn't take my flower..." Hiei stared at the daisy, teary eyed...

**Meanwhile...**

"What's going on?" Shura asked.

"Gimme my nasal spray!" Snout growled.

"You heard him precious..." Sensui added. (With open arms...) "Haha Don't mind me haha!"

"Why do you talk like that?"

"I like Speed Racer a lot haha."

"Can I not write that in the notes?" Kurama asked. (Walk this way!)

"I liked that show too..." Yusuke sighed.

"It must be fate..." Insert shojo manga background.

"I've already had enough of this," Kurama growled.

"Don't be jealous," Shura replied.

Kurama threw him in the dumpster. "Screw you all! I'm going home."

**Mukuro**

"Dammit. Why did suddenly get pockets?" Mukuro growled. "Huh? Nasal spray? I didn't know I had it. It's the perfect crime. Oh well." She threw in the dumpster.

_I never did find out who stole the nasal spray. I might as well put in the X- files..._

"Are you okay?" Kurama asked.

"She didn't take my flower..." Hiei moaned.

"You want my ice cream?"

"She didn't take my flower..."

_Hiei is sad for some reason. We had him for lawn gnome duty a couple of times..._

"I'm okay now!" Snout announced.

"Go away..." Yusuke growled.

"She didn't take my flower..."

"Don't feel bad Hiei! There's always..." He watched Ryo and Dee. O.o

_**End Case 21**_

(listening to Aerosmith) Yeah! Ingore Ryuichi if you don't know him. (I don't own Gravitation.)

Yes I'm groovin'

Yes moving

Well, review. Or Kuwabara will smooch your favorite bishonen... (Bishonens are crying.)


	22. Bui's Purse

That time of the week again. Uh... Hiei's voice over... Again. And more weirdness. Ingore the paper, cord, pencil comments. It's an inside joke.

_voice over_

_voice over 2_

normal stuff

Uh... You got the rest. I don't know why I keep doing this.

**Yusuke the Detective**

_Case 22: Bui's Purse..._

_I have to go to an anime convention with Kuwabara (Cord) so we determined my replacement with a clever plan..._

"Spin the bottle!" Yusuke (pencil) spun a bottle around.

"This is stupid," Hiei (paper) growled.

"Hey, it landed on you!"

"wOOt!" Kurama (paper) cheered as he went in his ice chest.

"It's Monday so I guarntee you won't get a case! Bye!" Yusuke walked out, whistling.

_It kinda felt like this...  
"Later, honey! Take care of the house while I'm gone!" the Yusuke husband smiled.  
The Hiei Housewife hissed and threw a frying pan at Yusuke's head. Evil aura.  
"You're so cute!" Hearts._

_ROAR!_

_"Gimme a..." He was smashed into the wall. "...I'm... Gonna... Go... Now..."  
Pretend you didn't just read that. Ew..._

_Damn. I hate the damn voice over._

Suddenly the door was broken by Bui (Paper?), who then screamed, "Where's Yusuke Urameshi!"

Kurama came out of the ice chest. "He's at the anime convention."

"I'm his replacement," Hiei added.

Bui ran to the corner. "It must be my lucky day..."

Raizen (pencil) pointed to a cord. Yomi (cord) shook his head and pointed to a folded piece of paper. Both laughed.

"Uh... You realize Kurama will be coming too, right?" Hiei asked as he eyed, the two laughing demons behind him.

"Yes!" Bui said, but he was thinking, 'Damn you Kurama...'

Kurama pulled out a piece of paper. "So what'd you lose?"

"Don't tell Toguro, but... My purse..."

"What?"

"Uh... Right... Any suspects?" Hiei asked.

"Shigure (cord), Rando (pencil), Suzaku (paper), or Karasu (cord)."

"Damn you Shigure..."

_Screw him. Let's start with Rando..._

**Rando**

"Anyone want to invest in a limited time offer? Try Rando's toenail ice cream! Hi, Hiei, want to try my toenail ice cream. If you try it, I'll let you have it free because you're my first costumer in... Forever! So I can't pay my bills!" Rando said.

"I'll pass on that one. If I'm gonna throw up I'll wait 'til I'm married. ...Whenever that happens. (Insert a group of fangirls.)" HIei replied. "Let's just get to the point. Did you steal Bui's purse. Oh, and Bui doesn't want Toguro to know of this."

"Ooh! I might have it!" He turned to a filing cabinet labled "Purses". "What'd it look like?"

"I dunno."

"It was big enough to hold my axes and it was... Pink!" Bui replied.

Hiei's face went white.

"It could be worse..." Kurama tried to comfurt Hiei.

"I know. He could keep panties in there," Rando added.

"Uhh..." Bui sweated. "You want me to reply honsetly?"

"Ignoring that comment... I don't have it. I collect red purses. It goes with my hair. My dream home!"

**Suzaku**

_There's Ryuichi Sakuma everywhere..._

"Gasp! You didn't let me prepare!" Suzaka cried. He was wearing a shirt that said "I (Heart) Ryuichi Sakuma." and had "I live 4 Ryuichi." on his face.

"Suzaku, you're disturbing," Kurama sighed.

"Raizen's hair is disturbing. Yomi's ears are disturbing. Mukuro's face is disturbing."

"Jin's accent is disturbing. It's an Irish blend. Coffee..." Bui added.

"I think you've made your point..." Hiei sighed. (Don't be offended about what they said about Mukuro.)

"No. Kuwabara's face is disturbing. The King of all the Cosmos's chin in Katmari Damacy is disturbing. Karasu is disturbing," Suzaku added.

**Karasu**

Karasu sneezed. "Kurama must be talking about me!" He squealed.

**Back to all the papers/ cords**

"What's it mean when someone calls you paper?" Suzaku asked.

"It means you're..." Hiei couldn't fininsh because Kurama covered his mouth.

"It means you're bendable!" Kurama replied. "Cord means you're flexible. Pencil means you'll break yourself in half if you try to stretch."

**Meanwhile...**

"I wanna touch my toes!" Raizen cheered. He bent over and... "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! MUKURO, YOMI HELP!" Raizen giggled a bit. "I BROKE IN HALF!"

"I can't help you," Mukro said.

"Why not?" Teary eyes.

"I hate you."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (Count those o's!)" He started to cry. "I'm gonna be stuck like this! Ooh! Three o' clock's my naptime!" He fell asleep.

Yomi taped Raizen back together. "I told him to be a cord like me. Or paper! Hm... Mukuro... Where'd she go? ...She was the only female..."

**Meanwhile...**

"Let's stay on the topic! Did you steal Bui's purse!" Hiei growled.

"No way! Not even for Tohma Seguchi! But maybe if my Ryuichi asked me..." Suzaku swooned.

"To... Karasu."

**Karasu**

"No I don't have it! I have my own," Karasu held up a purse that was covered with Kurama pictures.

"How nice..." Kurama sighed.

"Let's go..." Hiei walked away.

"I one deticated to you!" Karasu cried.

**Shigure**

"Hiei!" Shigure tried to glomp the koorime but was hit by a guitar.

"I'm voilated enough..." Hiei growled.

"Was Mukuro in the guy's bathroom again? She says she's confused but I don't believe her."

"No one does," Kurama replied.

"Hiei, hug me!"

"Between you and the giant nose demon, offensive Japanese character number 4452..." Hiei sighed.

"Offensive Japanese character number 4452..." Shigure's eyes narrowed and he smacked Kurama.

"What the hell was that for, you bastard!" Kurama growled.

"Because I'm ready to... DANCE!" "No Style" by Kinya Kotani started to play.

"Ugh. Screw this," Hiei ran away. Kurama followed him.

"Did you steal my purse?" Bui asked.

"Yup!" Shigure grinned.

"And why did you steal my purse?"

"Because I hate you!"

"Lemme reword that. Give me a good reason why you stole my purse."

"Because you're a crappy yoga teacher!"

"Well, maybe I'd be better if you weren't too sexy for everything!"

"Well, I am! And, frankly, I'm too sexy for this fanfic!" He disappeared.

"But... My purse..."

**The Next Day**

"At least that's over," Kurama sighed.

_I'm not talking._

"I'll be the detective next time if that makes you feel better..."

"That makes me feel better. No x-files this time," Hiei said.

"What's the x- files?"

_**End case 22**_

"Puuuuuuuu!" Kurama hissed.

Many people felt bad for Hiei. Am I a Mukuro/ Hiei fan? I dunno. I guess I write it because it makes sense. I'm trying to pull a Kurama/ Hiei one in that AU one. You guys won't belive how it'll turn out when I publish it! Yeah I'm insane! And pretty damn proud of it! But then again, Aquairius is supposed to be weird... Ha!

Blah blah blah...

What's with Raizen? I dunno. I guess my easiest personality is hyperactive. I can also pull of whiny stuff and anger! XD

The next case is my favorite of all time! Review!


	23. Office Food

Meh. I couldn't update last time cause it was my dad's birthday so my mom figured he was gonna leave town to celebrate. It turned out he was gonna celebrate later. I wasn't sure is this computer would save this because Yayo had problems with it. My uncle fixed it so I can update. Yayness! Now here's my favorite chappie!

**voice over 3**

normal stuff

"speech"

'thought'

"_emphasis_"

**new scene**

**Yusuke the Detective**

_Case 23: Office Food_

Mukuro flipped throught the channels. "Why is there not anything on today!" She turned it off. "I'm hungry." (Two of the last words you'd expect to hear from Mukuro.)

"Is this amusing you Mukuro!" Raizen cried, waving a sandwich around. "Is this amusing you!"

Mukuro stabbed him with a pencil and choked him with a cord. She walked to the room where the refridgerator thing was and froze, shocked at what she just saw...

**Yusuke's Office**

**Yusuke will be back from the anime convention so it's my last day on detective duty.**

"Kurama, this is the day after the last chapter. This is your first day on detective duty this week," Hiei growled.

"Right... Just keep filing Hiei and I won't take back that comment about eating all the office's ice cream," Kurama replied cheerfully.

Mukuro suddenl broke the door and ran across the room screaming but stopped to knock over a table. Then she continued running and jumped out the window.

The two demons stared. "Alrighty then..."

Raizen broke the wall next to the door, still waving the sanwhich around. "Is this amusing you Mukuro, you sandwich abuser! Where is she!"

"Uh... She just jumped out the window..." Hiei said.

"How is SHART supposed to work without her!"

"What's a SHART?" Kurama asked.

"It's Sandwich Helping Attorney Reinforcement Team. Without Mukuro, SHART cannot be possible! Oh, and it's when you fart and..."

"I think we got it." Silence. "I'm hungry. Let's eat lunch."

"Don't let me catch you abusing you sandwiches!"

Kurama and Hiei walked into the room where the refridgerator was. "Gasp!"

**A few seconds later...**

"All I want to know is... Who ate all the food!" Kurama growled.

"Maybe you ate it all and forgot. Don't you have a good metabolism?" Yomi asked.

Kurama threw an orange at the demon's head.

"I blame Ruka! She also abuses he sandwiches!" Raizen cried. "DAMN YOU RUKA AND YOUR DEMON LOLLIPOP BODY!"

Mukuro was tramatized. "Meep."

"I have nothing to do with this fanfic," Ruka replied. The breeze came in. "Uh- oh. The wind." She was blown out the window.

Under his breath Kurama growled, "Dirty slut." Out loud he asked, "Who ate all the silence. Not even Suzaku's Ryuichi Sakuma CD was playing after the question.

"I'd rather not have to say this but if you don't confess, I'll make everyone eat Rando's toenail food," Hiei broke the silence. Everybody in the office gasped.

"Hey! My food isn't made of toenails! I put my ear wax in there as well!" Rando growled.

"That was a little more than we needed to know. Anyway that still proves my point. So..." The room suddenly went dark. "Confess now or you shall be condemed for your silence... Kurama turn the lights back on.

Mukuro threw Kurama out the window and turned on the lights. "Meep." She noticed people were staring. "Meep."

Kurama was mad now. He threw Mukuro out the window. "Unless it was you Hiei..."

"Why would I eat all the food?" Hiei growled.

"You have a good metabolism."

O.O "Okay... And your point being...?"

"You aren't hungry right now Hiei."

"I'm never hungry. That's why I'm so skinny."

"BURN!" Karasu screamed. Somehow he got lit on fire. "AIEE!" He jumped out the window. Insert explosion here. O.o

"Is Botan back yet? I need my ghost mail," Kuronue said.

"She hasn't shown up this whole week," Shura answered.

**Hm... Botan hasn't been back yet... Lazy... thing!**

"This proves to be a tough case..." Kurama mumbled with a look of deep thought. "Maybe your punishment is a little too harsh Hiei..."

o.O "Why? The idea is brilliant and you know it!" Hiei growled.

"That is if anyone really did eat the food!"

"Huh?" O.O

"You're gonna blame the sandwiches, I know it!" Raizen screamed.

"It wasn't the sandwiches, Raizen..." Kurama said in a dramatic tone. (Overly dramatic.) "It was... Hiei's Twinkies!" (I don't own Twinkies...)

Everybody stared. "Wha...?" (Mukuro: Meep?)

"My... What do you have against my twinkies!"

"Have you ev er looked at them? They sit there... menacingly! They have a bread... type thing... I guees they call it crust but you know I totatally disagree. Crust is that.. Well, to stay on the topic... They have a over layer that targets skinny people so when the evil vanilla creme beast within breaks free, it makes you fat with its of terror and despair! It then creates despair for all. The end of world's glass this image... They are the products of evil!"

Mukuro started to cry tears of joy. (Yes, thanks Mukuro! I put a lot of work into it. I wanted to be poetic.)

Yomi sniffed. (Togashi doesn't like you Yomi.) "I'M BLIND! I'LL NEVER SEE AGAIN BECAUSE I BROKE KURAMA'S CUP!" The elf began to cry.

"What's your problem?" Kurama asked.

"You made me blind!"

"Not you!"

"No one ever said my projects were pure evil until just now! I'm so happy!" Mukuro replied.

"You bitch! You created twinkies!" Kurama threw a rock at her head.

"...The content was going so well until the comment," Shura sighed. (No one likes you Shura.)

**Two hours later...**

"I got hungry so I made enough curry for the whole office," Hiei announced.

**There's something suspicous about this... Everytime Hiei cooks there's something wrong with it. I swear, this man would probably burn a milkshake. He can't even make Kool- aid without scewing up. It reminds me of that time he "made" sake.**

**Flashback**

"I made sake!" Hiei announced.

"Really?" Yusuke poured himself a glass. He spat it out. "Yuck! Hiei, this is rice, wine, and grapes!"

"I added a monkey's foot for good luck."

He turned green.

**End flashback**

"Hey, I did it all literally by the book! Gimme some credit you damn smart ass fox!" Hiei growled.

Kurama threw Hiei in the dumpster. (I dunno why there's a dumpster in there.)

"Hey, everybody! _Family Guy'_s on!" Jin cried.

"Ooh! _Family Guy_!" The whole office left to watchg TV. (That's one of the reasons why I still watch TV. I don't own it sadly...)

**Half an hour later...**

Raizen held up chopsticks. "I'm ready for food!"

"Huh? Someone ate it all. At least they acknowledge the fact that I _actually_ cooked," Hiei replied.

**The theif left a trail of yogurt...**

"Follow that yogurt!" Kurama ran away.

"I guess we don't need you," Hiei whispered to Snout, who was on a leash.

Snout sighed. T.T

**So we followed the trail and ended up at...**

"The horror of unspeakable horrors. The girl's bathroom," Kurama stared at the sign that read "Women" in horror. "If we don't make it out, Hiei I want you to know that... I'm not a natural red head. My natural color is black."

O.o o.O O.O "Uh... Sure... On the count of three. One... Two... Three!" Hiei ran in, his eyes covered.

Kurama laughed because he didn't go in.

Hiei dragged the fox in. "Dumb ass."

Mukuro was playing with twinkies on the sink. "You're confused too?"

"No!" Kurama growled.

"Where's the food theif?" Hiei asked.

"I saw her go in there," Mukuro pointed at a stall.

"You know her."

"I would have said so."

Hiei closed his eyes and slowlyopened the door. He opened them to see who it was. It was...

"ACK! IT WAS BOTAN!" Hiei fainted

"Don't blame me for being hungry!" She growled, though morbidly obese.

"You didn't eat my twinkies," Mukuro growled, an eye twitching.

"Wha...?"

"You didn't eat my twinkies." She held a box up. "Eat it."

"I'm full now. So..."

"EAT IT BITCH!"

Botan screamed and ran out. Mukuro chased her.

**I guess Hiei and I are the only sane ones here. At least that's solved.**

**The next day...**

"Wow. Mukuro's not here. Thaty explains a lot..." Yusuke mumbled.

**Meanwhile...**

"GET BACK HERE BITCH!" Mukuro was still chasing Botan.

"LORD KOENMA THIS CRAZY WOMAN WON'T LEAVE ME ALONE!" Botan cried.

_**End case 23**_

Heh. I forgot who gave me the idea. I'm afraid to check right now because my grandparents have dial up(Whgich is incredably slow. Ugh). When I look I'm say in the next chapter... Case. Next is Touya's case, baby! Heck yeah! (Everyone remembers the cup thing right? If not, say so in a review.)

Reviews are appreciated! Japan Cat sighing off.


	24. Touya's Refridgerator

Yay! Christmas day! ...And it's raining outside. Here's a present for all the loyal readers. (And Touya at this time of the year! Perfect timing, huh?) ...Unless you celebrate Hannakah (sp? No offense. I can't spell.) or Kwanza. Then, there's you Hannakah/ Kwanza/ Christmas present! On with the fic!

_Note:_

_Office Food: The idea was inspired from The-god-of-manga's review._

_Uh... Someone suggested this but... I can't remember which chapter to look under. Kentucky Fly Chick helped me figure out how to change this. (The orginal version of this is crap.)_

Insert the reference note. As of now, I am refusing to put it here.

**Yusuke the Detective**

_Case 24: Touya's Refridgerator (sp?)_

_It was a quiet day. A perfect, relaxing, ninja-less day. Kinda boring but who cares. It's quiet!_

"You want me to let Mukuro out of the closet?" Hiei asked.

"Whatever you do, don't let that bitch out of the closet!" Yusuke growled.

"Okay, I fininshed making lunch!" Kurama cheered and then muttered under his breath, "Why am I the only person here that can cook?" (Ain't it the truth?)

"What was that?" Raizen asked.

"You forgot your mustard."

"But's it's Anti- Mustard Day for SHART."

"Whatever."

_That was when HE appeared._

The camera zoomed in on Karasu, who cheered, "I'm special!" Of course the camera quickly switched to Touya. "Hey!"

_There goes my ninja-less day._

"I'm in need of help," he said, ignoring the voice over.

"You need mental help, too?" Shigure asked. "I could always become a brain surgeon and--"

"NO!" the whole office growled.

"I lost my refridgerator," Touya added to his first comment.

"Penguin? Like Roy?" Raizen asked, giving Roy a cookie. (Roy: Murrh...)

"Do you have comprehesion problems?"

"Yes I do! My doctor says it's the chemcals from my hairspray but I say--"

"Don't burst into song. That's reserved for Disney." (Indeed.)

"I got the worst grade cause me, Mukuro and Yomi were taking a test and I got a 45 and you'll never guess who got the highest score!"

"Mukuro."

"Yeah! Yomi got a... Seven! He was cheating too. Bastard."

"I was not cheating! I was simply asking for a piece of information from Mukuro only from her piece of paper therefore giving you the knowledge for your test," Yomi replied.

"Exactly. Cheating," Mukuro replied. (She broke the closet door open.)

"No. Cheating is taking something from another and claiming it as your own." (This dictionary sucks.)

"Look, I just need my refridgerator," Touya sighed with irritation.

"You just like it for the freezer, huh? Admit it!" Raizen joked.

Touya froze the demon.

"To get to the point..." Kurama said, pulling out a note pad. "...Who would steal a fridge?"

"I don't know. Yukina? Kuronue. Jin. Suzaku... Nevermind him."

"I vote Suzaku," Hiei commented.

"Whatever," Yusuke sighed.

**Yukina**

"Refridgerator? No. I wish I could tell you who has it but... I have no clue really. But your penguin?" Yukina was interupted.

"My penguin hasn't been stolen. Who keeps on telling you this?" Touya growled.

"Uh... Well... I haven't taken anything like that... I've stolen a hat and Hiei's sword..."

"And his pants."

"Too true. (Everyone knows about now.) Um, yeah."

**Kuronue**

"A PENGUIN!" Kuronue squealed with delight. "Do you know how long I've wanted a penguin! Not even Youko knows! I've wanted one since I was a wee little three year old bat! But my mama told me that he'll poke my eye out. But I still want one! They're so cute with their weird feather fur things! And they go murrh! What's better than that!"

"WHY IS EVERYBODY MENTIONING PENGUINS! DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND ME WHEN I ASK ABOUT A REFRIDGERATOR!" Touya is PO'ed now.

"...Refridgerator? What's that?"

"That question was a mistake," Yusuke sighed.

"But, don't you see, I'm a ghost!" Kuronue continued ranting. "Ghosts cannot take anything from the Realm of the Living unless that is what will let them rest in piece. Otherwise, they become waundering ghosts! And besides that, I can't touch Humans or demons. It sucks."

"Your idea, Touya," Yusuke sighed.

"It was only a thought," he replied.

_To Jin._

**Jin**

"I hear foot steps..." Jin looked over his shoulder. "Gasp! Touya! It's been _days_!" He tried to hug the other demon.

Touya threw an ice cube at his head. "Be happy that's all you get."

"Did you steal Touya's fridge? And don't mention penguins. Touya's short on temper right now," Kurama said.

"Why? And also, if I were to mention penguins I have Lucky!" he pointed at an orange penguin with a green hat. (Lucky: is singing an Irish drinking song)

"Stupid, met Lucky," Hiei kicked his penguin.

"Uh... How intersting... Touya, what's with you?"

Touya's eye was twitching. "My refridgerator is the source of my... SANITY!"

"We've done this before..." Hiei commented, his face turning white. "What the hell is he doing?"

"I believe that's the worm," Yusuke said.

_Let's go to Genkai before he does something real crazy!_

**Genkai**

"Uh... A refridgerator? I have my own, dumb ass. If not then I would be killed by food poisoning from rotted food," Genkai growled.

"You needed a second one," Yusuke replied with confidence.

"And get a high electric bill! Hell no!"

"It's true. You could save hundreds on your electric bill by unplugging that second refridgerator. So please save our energy and take this thought into consideration. Thank you California. Now we can go and take back the White House! (Insert Howard Dean scream.)" Kurama added.

"I'm not gonna touch that," Hiei replied, sweatdropping.

"AIHEHEHE! (The hell kind of laugh is that?) MY HAIR IS BLUE! AND GREEN! I HAVE NO PUPALS IN MY GORGEOUS BLUE EYES THAT MAKE THE FANGIRLS TO OOOOOOOOHHHH! THEY THINK I'M NICE... **_I AM NOT!_** AND I'LL ROCK THIS SCHOOL...! Er, TEMPLE!" Touya screamed. "I'M THE SEX! I'M TOO SEXY FOR MY SHIRT!"

"That's nice Touya..."

_Uh... I'm disturbed. To Suzaku._

**Suzaku**

"Why don't you ever say anything!" Suzaku growled, his room filled with Ryuichi Sakuma stuff.

"Look I'm tired. Did you steal Touya's refridgerator?" Yusuke asked.

"Yeah. The writer's been typing for three hours. I do. See I use it for the freezer for my penguin. Ryuichi loves girls who can talk to penguins and guys who can't read kanji. I fit in both! Ryuichi, you are mine!"

"Ugh. I'm disappointed. Come on Kurama." All but Touya and Suzaku left.

"Suzaku..." Touya growled.

"Uh... Hi...?" Suzaku senses danger!

"SHARDS OF WINTER!"

_I didn't want to stay there! Suzaku is freaking nuts! All we need to know is if Touya's alright._

"I am now," Touya said with a sparkly smile. (For fangirls to swoon for.)

_Great. Case closed. Class dismissed._

_**End case 24**_

(Clapping.) Great. I have satisfied many now.

The cup? I wanna tell you all it again. Here goes:

Youko: I have a favorite cup. Kuronue stole it for me. Yomi stole it. I found out. I am angry. Yomi went blind. We never made up.  
So basically, Yomi went blind because he stole Kurama's cup.

Review please!


	25. Jin's Pot of Gold The chapter on crack

...Hi. Sorry bout the update. Last week there was a really bad storm and my mom didn't drive in all that wind. (Spooky!) So I couldn't type at home cause the power might go out and also, that laptop at home doesn't upload for some reason. I can't update on weekdays because I have homework. On that note, let's just hurry up and get on with the chapter.

_No voice over!_

It's all normal?

"Lots of speech"

'No thought really...'

**Too many scenes.**

**Yusuke the Detective**

_Case 25: Jin's Pot of Gold (A.K.A. The chapter on crack)_

_"Anyone who's reading this:_

_I will be at an anime convention _(Why is it always an anime convention?) _with Kurama, Hiei, and Kuwabara. Kurama planned out my replacements..._

_-Yusuke_

**"The following were recomended by Yusuke (Not really!):**

**(In alphabetical order...)**

**Mukuro.**

**Raizen.**

**Shura.**

**Yomi.**

**Have a nice day! (heart)**

**-Kurama"**

"DON'T HARM MY ZINGERS!

-Hiei"

"Why am I always last! Even shura's before me! He doesn't even have his name on the character list!" Yomi complained. (Shura cried, but no one cared.)

Suddenly explosions, censored sound effects, and gunshots were heard.

O.o "Raizen, what the hell are you watching!" Mukuro growled.

"I'm watching _'Gangsta Pretty Ponies'_! Then, they're gonna show _Rejected Care Bears_!" Raizen explained, smiling.

"You enjoy watching that crap?" Kuronue asked.

"It's funny! Wanna watch?"

Everybody replied, "We'd rather not..."

"I don't like you Mukuro!" Yomi said, an eye twitching which raises his intimation(sp?) level by ten points. "I'm ten times more Japanese than you'll ever be, Mu-ku-ro and Rai-zen!"

"Oh, shut up!" Mukuro kicked Yomi in a very.. low place.

"You know what, everybody just shut up! I'm trying to watch my _Rejected Care Bears_!" Raizen growled.

"Jin came out of nowhere, "I need help! Where's Yusuke!"

Everbody replied, "Anime convention."

"Kurama?"

"Anime convention."

"Hiei?"

"Anime convention."

"Botan?"

"Anime convention."

"Koenma?"

"Anime convention."

"Amanuma?"

"Anime convention."

"Ugh! I just need a detective!"

"Sure. I'm gonna need someone to work with," Mukuro said. (Mukuro and her little demon minions!)

"Ooh! Pickme! Pickme!" Raizen waved his hand around.

"We could always be partners," Yomi replied with a suggestive grin.

Mukuro ran away, dragging Raizen. (Raizen: Wee!)

**One hour later..**

"What'd you lose?" Mukuro asked.

"Me pot of gold," Jin answered. (Who am I trying to fool? I can't write accents!)

"I lost my lite brites. I AM NOT RAI! ...Or am I?" Raizen smirked.

Ignoring that, she (Mukuro's the only female here. O.o) asked, "Any suspects?" (Raizen was sad. Then he went to dance with Touya and his penguin who were dancing to "Ride on Shooting Star" by The Pillows.)

"EVERYONE!" Jin screamed as if no one can already hear him.

"Well, in that case, it's safe for me to do the unthinkable." Mukuro pulled out a phone. "867-5309."

"Huh?" Hiei answered the phone.

"Hiei? I thought you were at the anime convention."

"I couldn't show up. I have a cold." Sniff. (Yuck!)

"Oh. Did you steal Jin's pot of gold?"

"No." Hang up.

"We have to do some research. Come on Raizen." She dragged Raizen by the arm.

"No! I wanna dance with Touya! Lemme go!" Raizen complained.

"But me gold!" Jin pouted. (Jin the pirate, yo ho, yo ho!)

"I'll get your stupid gold once we research and after Raizen puts a shirt on for once!" Mukuro growled.

"You know you love my chest! Yeah, I'm too sexy for my shirt. I'm a model if you know what I mean and I do my little turn on the cat walk. Yeah on the cat walk. Yeah on the cat walk. Yeah I shake my little toosh(Sp?) on the cat walk!" Raizen started to dance. (I don't own the song these lines came from.)

"I'm leaving you behind."

**The Office, nya!**

"I wish I was taller," Mukuro sighed as she stood on the ladder to reach the top self of some closet thing. (Seriously. I think she's as tall as Yusuke. So therefore Hiei would be at here shoulders, almost if you had them stand next to each other. All I know it that I'm as tall as Yusuke. What am I ranting about?)

"BOO! I am the... Closet ghost!" Kuronue came out of nowhere. Insert weird finger gesture.

"AIYA!" She fell backward. (That's my weird scream, punk!)

Kuronue's eyes shifted. "...Fear me!" Disappear.

**Two hours later...**

"Wow. I can see Mother waving at me at the end of a loooooooooong tunnel..." Mukuro mumbled

"Yay! Now that you're up, you can eat the tofu you hit your head on!" Raizen waved it around.

"I'd rather not..."

"See? That's why you're always gonna be a shrimpy little woman! You need milk! Are you gonna be like Edward Elric forever!"

"Whatever!"

"Don't whatever the _Fullmetal Alchemist_!"

Ignore. "We still need to do some research."

"The pot of gold thing?" Hiei asked. "There's always chapter six."

"And exactly how are we supposed to go to chapter six when we're nineteen chapters away from that?" Mukuro growled.

"There's a time machine in the back."

Sweatdrop. "Sure."

**Two hours later...**

"I don't get it..." Raizen said. "Why didn't we appear in that chapter if we went back in time?" (Actually the "Three Kings" series wasn't even known to me yet except I saw a picture of Mukuro on anime analyze and I wasn't sure how the heck that was a chick yet. So basically I think I was at the "Chapter Black" series. Crap! I'm ranting again.)

"You saw the chapter right?" Hiei asked as he watched Yu Yu Hakusho on TV. (DVDs. Hate the edited version even if it was funny when they left the part when Itsuki came out of the closet in.)

"Yeah and it disturbed me," Mukuro answered.

"It disturbs everybody."

Kuronue floated in. "ACK! The living dead! Her name makes sense!" Melodramatic faint.

"It was Shishi. Shishi or Suzuka," Raizen said.

Mukuro looked at the screen. "Does my hair really look that weird from behind?" (Yes. In many angles Mukuro.)

"Should we care?" Hiei asked slurping his ramen. (Pig.)

**Shishi**

"What would I do with gold?" Shishi asked.

"I know! I know! Pick me!" Raizen waved his hand.

"Spit it out."

Spit! "Get a whole bunch of make up so you look just like a woman! Even enough to make Mukuro look somewhat feminine!"

Mukuro smacked him. (The truth hurts sometimes.)

"You know it's true! I mistook you for a man when I first saw you!" Raizen said. (Everyone did.)

"And I mistook you for a freakin' hippie!"

"...I like flies."

Eyes narrow. "I'm sure you do."

"Right, well, I, Shishiwakumaru (14 letters!), do not need gold or that much make up for that matter. I am too beautiful!" Shishi sparkled.

"If you say so." Mukuro growled.

"Are you denying my beauty?"

"Even Mukuro's prettier than you!" Raizen cried.

Karasu came out of nowhere. "BURN!" He got stared at. "You got served!"

"Uh... OKay, you guys are targeting my sanity. I stole Jin's pot of gold." Shishi replied.

"Why?" Raizen asked.

"Yeah! Tell, you bastard!" Jin added after appearing out of nowhere.

"It's what you get for stealing my make up!" Shishi growled.

"Grr.. Tornado fist!" (Or some crap like that.)

"I'm going home..." Mukuro sweatdropped.

"No, let's go watch Yu Yu Hakusho with Hiei!" Raizen dragged her with him.

_**End case 25**_

Wow. Crack chapter. Yeah, this is the one my friend flamed so if it sucks just say so. I lost readers at some point...

Notes:

1. 867-5309?- That was from an song in the 80's by Tommy Tutone. (Or something like that.) Yeah. I listen to 80's music...

2."I'm toosexy for my shirt"- If you don't know I'm afraid. That was based of the song "I'm too sexy" from_ Right Said Fred_.

3. "Wow. I can see Mother waving at me at the end of a loooooooooong tunnel..." - ...Does Mukuro even know her mom? O.o Random thought.

4. Fullmetal Alchemist? Edward Elric?- FRom another anime called Fullmetal Alchemist. I don't own.

5. Chapter 6- That was Shishi's make up, remember?

I was reading this book. It said that if you looked at the unscarred part of Mukuro's face, you can tell she must have been beautiful. ... Whatever! That's what they said about every other chick. Too many notes...

Review please!


	26. Little Shuichi Returns

Sorry bout the update. I'm in a really crappy mood right now. I mean at this website some idiot had their freaking mother post for them! GROW THE HELL UP! Jeez... I won't be there for a while, that's for sure.

_Man, no voice over!_

Stuff

"Speech"

'No thought here.'

**New scene!**

**Yusuke the Detective**

_Case 26: Little Shuichi Returns_

"Hey, Mukuro, wanna help me clean the closet?" Yomi asked.

Mukuro smacked him. "GET AWAY!"

T.T "Why are you so mean? I just wanted a helping hand... WHY MUST FATE DO SUCH THINGS!"

"You suck."

"Dude, you don't use Mukuro for housework..." Shura sweatdropped.

"Don't worry, Yomi! I'll help!" Raizen jumped into the closet. (That's what he was trying to avoid...) "All you have to do is pull this wallpaper off! All clean!" Thumbs up.

"You forgot this comic book... What is it anyway? _(Bleep!)_" Shura blinked twice and opened it up. Suddenly, Shuichi popped out of the book. "AIYA!"

"That's what you get for trying to read a nasty book, Shura."

"Where's Shuichi? Big Shuichi," Shuichi asked. (Insert Shuichi Shindo here.)

Everyone replied, "Anime Convention."

"Well, damn!"

"What'd you lose?" Shura asked.

"My samurai sword," Shuichi answered simply.

"Why would a fourteen year old boy need a samurai sword?" Mukuro asked.

"I have my ID card on there."

"ID? Anyone wanna see my sexy picture?" Raizen waved his arms around.

"Uh..." Shuichi stared. "I have a report due on the first day of school (Note that it's still summer in this fanfic. Lucky bastards.) so I decided to get started. i went to the library and they kept calling me 'Kokoda' and saying how 'Kokoda' needs a library card and not Shuichi's card."

"So you need your card to prove you're Shuichi and not Kokoda?"

"Yeah."

"That's why I don't go to libraries," Mukuro said.

"You could always go to the library with me," Yomi replied.

"Whatever."

Sadness aura... "Well, let's move on. i guess the detective will be..."

"Ooh! Pick me! Pick me!" Raizen waved his hand around.

"You were already the detective so shut up!"

"Nuh- uh! I was the side kick!"

"Whatever! I'll be the detective and Shura, you'll just hang around and pretend to be loved! Raizen, you'll be the side kick! ...Again. Let's go! Up, up and away!" He jumped out the window and flew away.

Silence.

"...Damn elves," Mukuro sighed.

**Ten minutes later...**

"Yomi, why are you always picking on Mukuro, you big bully!" Raizen asked.

"I'm not picking on her!" Yomi growled. "Your presence makes my ice pack melt!"

"That's what you get, you bully! Heh... Crashing into street lights."

"I'm... There's just a beauty..."

"Hitting streetlights?"

"Mukuro, you heavymetal rock player!"

"He's just pretending not to be a cord," Hiei said smuggly.

"Hiei, shut up! Who asked you, anyway!" Yomi growled.

"...The truth hurts sometimes, man."

"You suck," growled the unloved Shura.

HIei dunked his head into a bowl of ramen. "Besides that, You're the neighboorhood pervert. No one hooks up with them. Except Miroku from InuYasha but that anime sucks."

"Yeah and Mukuro is supposed to be paired with Hiei but do the people care? They write things that make us say 'You wrote about us doing _what_?' And somewhere out there, some sick bastard has paired me with Yusuke or Yomi. Come to think of it, Hiei is paired with Mukuro and Kurama. Wow, he sure does have a thing for red heads!" (I've seen him paired with Botan. ...And Yukina. YUCK!)

"Shut up!" Hiei smacked the... Whatever Raizen is.

Poor Yomi stared at the ground, broken heated.

"Let's get ice cream, Yomi!" Raizen dragged him away.

**The office**

"Hi, Mukuro!" Raizen greeted

Hiss!

"I have a mission for you! You're gonna be secratary! You just answer the phone!" The phone rang. "Go get 'em you, child of the living dead!" (Someone had too much sugar.)

"What?" Mukuro growled.

Kuwabara asked, "Hello, this is..."

"I know that's you Kuwabara."

"Damn!" Hang up.

"SUSPECT ONE TIME!" Raizen banged his head on the wall. "My psychic abilities tell me who it may be! Shigure!" Bang! "Botan!" Bang! "Yukina!" Bang! "Keiko!" Bang!

"You're scary..." Shuichi twitched.

**Shigure**

"Gasp! Another sword! That's too much for some as sexy as _I_!" Shigure's eye went into spasms.

"Get over yourself." Yomi ate more ice cream.

"I have Hiei sword. It's a collection."

"How many does he have?" Shuichi asked.

"Oh, you're interseted?"

O.o o.O O.O Everyone ran away.

**Botan and Yukina**

Botan was drinking tea with Yukina. "Just because I stole the office food...! I'm still out of shape! Why would I need a samurai sword!"

"I dunno, Botan... You've been rather... Violent lately..." Yukina replied.

"I'LL TELL YOU WHEN I'M VIOLENT!" She held a knife to Yukina's head but stopped when she noticed everyone staring. "Ahem! Nope, not me! You've got the wrong person!"

"Uh... Botan's been so stressed lately. She missed so much work that she had to make it all up today or get fired. As for me, I've given up my life of crime. But really, why do you need a sword?"

"My ID's there," Shuichi replied.

"Look at my sexy picture!" Raizen held up a picture of Youko Kurama.

"Indeed..."Botan drooled.

"Wrong one." Held up his ID. "It's sexy!"

Silence.

"Yeah. I should've grown a mustache."

"We're leaving you," Yomi said.

**Keiko**

"Who are you again?" Keiko asked.

"I'm Shuichi's step brother," Shuichi answered.

"So hand over the sword, bi... Bi-yotch!" Raizen hit her with a bat.

Keiko smacked him. "What the heck do you mean 'bi-yotch!' Why are you here anyway?"

"I can cuss with your parents nearby! Yay! EVERYONE, KEIKO'S A BITCH!"

"Whatever... Freak. I lost my samurai sword with my ID on it. I AM NOT KOKODA!" Shuichi yelled.

"Why would I have it?" Keiko asked.

Hiei came out of nowhere. 'It's in her closet."

"You..." Keiko chased the poor little man with a knife.

**Library**

"Kid, you can't use Shuichi's card. Get your own," the librarian said

"Damn you. I'm not Kokoda..." Shuichi growled.

He ended up with a card for Kokoda. ...Whoever Kokoda may be...

_**End Case 26**_

Notes:

1. "Go get 'em, you child of the living dead."- Ever wonder why Kuronue said "The living dead! Her name makes sense now!"? Actually, Mukuro's name means corpse. Fun.

2. I screwed up Yusuke's sign. He's Leo. Not a cancer.

I have an identity crisis. At school I'm Vannessa, Victoria, Rosa(!), and my real name, Veronica. Then, at neopets, i'm moog, mukuro, JC, and all my screen names. Wow.

Review please.


	27. Recollection

Happy early Chinese New Year! Now it's the year of the dog. I dunno what I'm talking about either. I've given up on the idea of side stories. I take two hours to type up one chapter...

_A voice over! Finally!  
_But it's stll mostly normal print.  
**New scene! Ha!  
**"Speech!"  
'I'm not thinking.'

**Yusuke the Detective**

_Case 27: Recollection_

_My name is Urameshi. Yusuke Urameshi. A detective. (Cut it out with the fragments!) A very... Bored detective. It's been a few months since I came back from the anime convention. It's been quiet ever since... _Too _quiet._

"You're just paranoid," Kurama said.

"Whatever! No one stop their crimes! Not in this office! Everyone here is insane!" Yusuke growled (Especially Raizen!) as he pulled out cards to plat solitare. (I spelled that right?) "I think I might have done it all..."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Y'know... Solved all the cases that have ever been in in this office."

"Maybe..." was what came out of Kurama's mouth, but he was thinking, 'So why'd you take so many days off?' He asked, "So... What're the X-files anyway?"

"Stuff we never solved just so the readers can go nuts about it only to find out it was a cheap trick like that and to make you mad just because you never thought about it that much." (Really!)

"...I would've figured..." Kurama sighed. "If the _Three Kings _people never showed up, the readers may have kept their sanity. Maybe we should block them next time."

Yusuke slid in his chair.

"What's with you?"

"This sucks."

"Everyone, I have posted your horoscopes for this month." Itsuki came out of nowhere. "I must say though, Aquarius will have a bad one."

Keiko got mad. "Darn!"

"Due to unknown forces, it is August so Leo will have fun."

"Lucky me..." Yusuke mumbled.

Itsuki sat on the TV. "In other news, it will be raining..."

"But it's sunny! How can it...!" Hiei was cut off when it suddenly started raining.

"...With a chance of chocolate bunnies." (Raizen waved his arms around. "Itsuki's a genie!")

"Now you're just mocking me." It started raining chocolate bunnies. (Wouldn't it be awesome if that really did happen?) "CHOCLATE!" He jumped out the window. Silence.

"I suggest shock tarts." Shock. "They're addictive." Shock. He walked out. Shock.

"Why isn't anything going my way today!" Yusuke banged his head on his desk.

Hiei came back with his mouth, some bags, and pockets full of chocolate. "Waf wif im?"

"Don't talk with your mouth full," Kurama sighed.

Swallow. "Whatever."

Yusuke ran into the closet and started crying.

Raizen knocked on the door. "...Yusuke?"

"GO AWAY, YOU... YOU... HEAVY METAL ROCKER!"

Raizen started to cry. "I hate you!" (Insert soap opera music here.)

"I hate you, too!"

"I'd hate you even if you weren't my (Here we go!) great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great grandson!"

"Well, I'd hate you even if you weren't my great, great, great, great, great, great ,great, great, great, great, great grandfather!"

"I'd hate you even if I didn't hate you!"

"I'd hate you even if that made sense!"

"Wanna get a soda?" Hiei asked.

"'Kay!" Kurama smiled. (Can't think. My mom keeps messing up my fast vibe.)

**When they came back...**

"...It's quiet. Where's Yusuke?" Kurama asked.

"He's at the bridge," Mukuro answered.

"And why is he at the bridge?"

"He's..." The phone rang. "What?"

It was Yuki Sohma. "Hi, is this Yusuke's office?"

"...yeah."

"Oh! That's great!" (Great number 23.)

"I'm not ordering pizza if that's what you're getting at."

"No! We're like brothers."

Mukuro sweatdropped. 'Do I really sound that masculine?'

"We were both liscened by Funimation! And we have the same voice actors/ actresses! (Here we go again!) Justin Cook did Haru and Chris Sabat did Ayame and Jerry Jewel did Kyo and Laura Bailey did Tohru and Kimberly Grant (Something like that.) did Momiji and John Burgmeier (Why does Your name have to be so hard to spell!) did Shigure and Eric Vale (who became creepy during Fullmetal Alchemist.) did me and..."

"HURRY UP AND GET TO THE POINT!"

"I need my masculinity!"

Mukuro hung up. "Anyway, he was gonna jump off..."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Keiko ran to the bridge.

Hiei chuged his soda. "I'm hungry." He walked out.

The phone rang again. "What?"

The voice was styrange and high pitched. "'Ello! Am loookin fo'..."

"Yuki, I know that's you. That's why there's _caller ID_." Hang up.

**Keiko and Kurama**

"Yusuke! Don't jump!" Keiko cried.

"Wha...? How'd you...?" Yusuke asked.

"The lady with the screwed up face told me!" (You know it's true! How did the person who wrote that book find her... Beautiful?)

"Screw Mukuro then!" Yusuke jumped.

"He can't..." Kurama mumbled.

"I know..." Keiko started to feel the tears build up in her eyes. "TAKE ME WITH YOU!" Keiko tried to jumped.

The fox grabbed her. "It's okay, Keiko! He just picked the wrong river!"

"_Okay_!" Keiko smacked the poor red headed. "Every river's the wrong river! You're being insensitive..."

"Ow!" Yusuke hit something.

"What the... He's alright..."

"No one ever drowns in this river. That's why he can't..." Kurama stopped.

"...I just..." Yusuke looked at his reflection in the river.

"You...!" Keiko jumped down. "Yusuke you moron!" She just let the tears roll out.

**The next day...**

"I forgot about Puu..." Hiei mumbled as he flipped through photo albums.

Kurama was looking over his shoulder. "Everyone did."

"What're you guys doing?" Yusuke asked.

"Looking at the time I wasted in Human World," Hiei answered simply.

"Remember when my hair was short?" Kurama asked.

"What life was that in?"

"My hair was short when we first met! I was fourteen!"

"I was... Older than that."

_I never hang out with these guys when they do that. So much for Itsuki's horoscope..._

"Mine said I'll experience weight loss," Hiei said. Oo

"...Mine said... Mine said I'll be seperated from something I love and get depressed about it. ... I'm not feeling anything at all so don't worry about it!" Kurama smiled.

"Maybe Itsuki confused Libra with Leo. You're having a better month."

"Other than the weight loss thing, what did he say about Gemini?"

"The twins with rumble leading to one bad month."

"Leo's in the spot light. Aquarius should take it easy," Keiko said.

"No one asked you," Shura growled.

"That may be true but that doesn't change the fact that your name isn't on the character list."

Shura started to cry.

Yukina burst into the room. "Hiei, I challenge you to a rumble!"

"Bring it on! Meet me in the alley at five!" Hiei cheered.

_That's why I don't trust horoscopes._

**Minamino Residence**

"Shuichi! ...S!" Shiori called.

Kurama's stepdad smiled at little Shuichi. "That means you too, Kokoda." He was deathglared.

When Kurama came into the room, Shiori said, "Your stepfather has some news."

"Well, I'm going to start another business..."

"Dad, what's wrong with the one you have now?" Little Shuichi asked.

"Well, these scary girls from this _Shuichi Fanclub_ have been stalking me. Weshould leave..."

"I get it! You want me to get this really ugly hairdo and dress like a hippie so they'll go away, right?" Kurama asked and made Shiori laugh at the mental picture he gave her.

"Well, you see..." Kurama's stepdad paused for a momnent... A dramtic moment! Dun dun dun!

**The next day...**

"So how was that rumble yesterday?" Hiei asked.

"I smashed that punk! But then I realized she drew herself on the wall and stayed home. Craphead," Hiei growled.

"I'm feeling better!" Yusuke cheered as he bounced off the walls... literally.

"Ooh, did Yukimura take you on a date?" Kuwabara asked.

"Dude, I always escape her. I ate a pound of Itsuki's chocolate."

"Ooh, you're gonna get fat!"

"Shut up!"

"At least I stayed to see you cheer up," Kurama said.

Everyone stared. "What?"

"I'm moving to Okinawa."

_**End Case 27**_

Notes:  
1. Yuki Sohma- From _Fruits Basket_ which I don't own.  
2. Justin Cook- Yusuke  
3. Chris Sabat- Kuwabara  
4. Jerry Jewel- Jin, Suzaku and Barry the butcher in Fullmetal Alchemist!  
5. Laura Bailey- Keiko  
6. Kimberly Grant- Rinku  
7. John Burgmeier- Kurama  
8. Eric Vale- Little Shuichi and I think he did Sakyo

I was gonna take a break a while and catch up with my other fanfic for a few weeks. I'll let your mind waunder- What will I do next? Who knows? It's the end? Review please!


	28. Goodbye and Good Luck, Friends

Man! It feels like forever since I last updated! I've been looking forward to this! I feel kinda sad that's already over though. Maybe I'll come back to it later. But I think the possiblity of that is the possibility of Mukuro looking pretty or somewhat feminine... Or I might do a sequel or something depends on how I feel later...

_Voice over... But it won't happen much. Voice over how I miss you...  
_The normal stuff! What is normal anyway?  
**New scene! MWA HA HA!  
**"Speech!"  
'I'm not thinking.'  
"_So much emphasis!"_

**Yusuke the Detective  
**_Case 30: Goodbye and Good Luck, Friends_

"WHAT!" Yusuke gasped.

_I can't believe it! Kurama's moving to Okinawa!_

"Why Okinawa? Why not Osaka so you can be supierior with your normal Japanese dialect?" Hiei asked smugly.

"But... My fanclub tormented everybody... They could find me there easily and it'll take them three hours by bullet train..." Kurama replied.

"I understand that, but why not a restraining order? It sounds like it'll make sense to me... I think..." Kuwabara said.

"Yeah... I guess but..." Kurama walked out of the room... Gloomy aura... Gloomy aura... There was then a long, tense silence in the office.

"...HIEI SAD!" Hiei started to cry. (Bob Dole! Or however you spell his name...)

"Yomi is sad too!" Yomi started to cry, even though no one cared. "Let's be blind together!"

Hiei backed away slowly...

"This isn't the way to end a fanfic!" Yusuke growled, holding up a clutched fist.

"What! This is the end!" Kuwabara gasped.

"Yeah," Mukuro growled, sarcastically. "Otherwise, I wouldn't be going back to Demon World."

"HIEI SAD!" Hiei grabbed her by the ankles and started to sob heavily. (I dunno why, but just sounds so weird to me...)

"Whatever! You were supposed to be in Demon World from the start!" She kicked him. (You guys! This is all Mukuro's fault! Just because she's a big fat, stupid bitch!)

"Grr..." Hiei bit her ankle.

"You guys are scaring me," Yusuke said, only to be ignored.

"But I don't want Kurama to go... He's cool..." Raizen mumbled.

"Who am I gonna pick on?" Shura asked, only to be ignored. He started to cry because he was being ignored. But no one cared.

"I know! We could always find a reason for him _not_ to move!"

"You're right, Raizen! ...For once. Man, that's gotta be a sign of the end of the world... _Anyway_ I know what to do! There's the basement!" Yusuke pointed out.

Everyone gasped.

Botan added just to be dramatic, "You can't go in there! You need Koenma to give you the key! He never gives anyone the key!"

**Ten seconds later...**

Yusuke walked up to Koenma. "Can I have your key?"

"Sure," Koenma handed Yusuke the key.

**Ten more seconds later...**

Everyone was at the basement.

"I can believe he gave _you_ the key!" Botan complained.

Shura got mad at her and threw her in a time portal. For once, people were glad Shura was there.

Yusuke opened the door slowly with a creek... He walked into the room, an eerie aura appearing suddenly... Yusuke began to laugh like he was possessed. Everyone stared, waiting for him to make his head spin and throw up pea soup like on _The Exorcist_. Then again, Hiei couldn't eat pea soup for a week after that movie...

"What the hell's in here that's supposed to help us?" Hiei growled.

"_Heh heh_ _heh... It is..._ My great granfather's crystallized fungus! Beat that!" Yusuke waved it around.

"I repeat- What the hell _is_ in here that's supposed to help us with our problem?"

"My great granfather's fungus! Don't you get it?"

Mukuro raised an eyebrow in disgust. "Are you sure you should be touching that with your bare hands?"

"Hey, Mukuro! Here! Take a whiff! It's good luck!" Yusuke waved it around.

Mukuro turned green and fainted.

"Fine, if you don't want good luck..." He took a big whiff. "Man, I already feel lucky!"

"Dude, I'm not eating that," Hiei growled.

"Dude, you don't _eat it_. You _wish_ on it."

"What kind of crap is that? Who _wishes_ on fungus?" Yomi asked.

Kuronue looked sad. "I can't wish. I have to live by the rules of the dead. It rules that I can't wish so it comes true. It'll unbalance the world of the living..."

"Ma mama told me it is _evil_ to wish like that!" Karasu waved his arms around.

"Who asked you?" Yomi whacked the bomber on the head with a baseball bat.

Four panels... Lone tear.

"You know what? Screw the fungus! We're just gonna have to find something that's so damn fun that Kurama'll have to stay!" Hiei said.

"Yeah, let's do that," Touya agreed. Everybody ran out after that.

Yusuke went creepy again. "_Don't worry my pretty... They'll need you soon enough..._" He put it in a jar and put the fungus on his desk...

**Insert time laspe here.**

"We're gonna find a reason for you to stay, Kurama!" Raizen got in Kurama's face. (I almost put Kurana. Who's Kurana?)

"Uh... That's nice... But... Are you sure this is the best place to do that? I mean, we're in the bathroom..." Kurama mumbled. "I still have to move anyway..."

"Wellllll... There's Final Fantasy and pumpkins and pie eating..." Raizen let Hiei say something.

Hiei added, "Ice cream!" He licked it.

"Manga, name calling, 867-5309, Yusuke, pigeon bowling, flyfishing, Zero Wing..."

"Two ice creams!"

"Bowling, Katamari Damacy, paper cuts (XD), note book burning, beans..."

"Still two ice creams!"

"Gorrillas, telling blondes to sit in the corner of a cicular room, connect the dots, jump rope..."

"Washing an old person!" Kuwabra scrubbed an old man.

"What? That's not fun!" Kurama replied, raising an eyebrow.

"It is for me!" the old man replied.

The redhead sighed. "I'm sorry, guys... I do want to stay but... If Okinawa or all of the fangirls disappeared..." Kurama walked out of the bathroom and ran into the next bathroom and cried. Girls ran out of the bathroom.

"AIEE! KURAMA'S IN THE WRONG BATHROOM!" they screamed.

"What's going on?" Mukuro, who was sitting on the sink, reading a book (To Serve Man), asked.

"What are you doing in this bathroom again!" Shura growled.

"She came to see _meee..._!" Yomi cheered, only to almost get split in half by an axe Mukuro threw at him. "Nevermind!"

"I'm confused..." she answered coolly.

"You're always confused!" Hiei threw her down the stairs.

"I didn't know there were stairs in here..." Yusuke mumbled.

"My stairs!" Hiei whacked him on the head with a chair and ran away.

**Minamino House (Twenty minutes later...)**

"Why can't you stay here?" Hiei asked. "Don't you have cousins in Tokyo?"

"Well, yeah... And would you get off my window! THe neighboors think you're stalking me and they're taking it the wrong way!" Kurama growled.

**Neighboors**

"Edward! The stalker's back again!" Winry screamed. (O.o How long have I planned this?)

"Winry, shut up! I'm trying to watch my Gansta Pretty Ponies- Yo!" Edward growled back.

"Oh, sure! Sit on your lazy butt all day while I have to worry about the stalker coming to kill us after he tortures the neighboors! This is the tanks I get for fixing your automail like a hundred times!"

"Shut up! No one like you, Winry!"

"Brother!" Alphonse ran in. "Look at the cat I found!"

"Shut up Al," the two yelled. (Punks! Don't yell at Al!)

Alphonse started to cry, which was hard for armor to do.

**Meanwhile...**

"This whole thing is crap," Mukuro growled. "I guess we do have to use this damn thing..."

"DON'T DO IT WITHOUT ME!" Yomi ran into the room.

Mukuro threw the elv- ish demon out the window.

"You're funny, Mukuro! not as funny as Yomi!" Raizen commented between laughs. (I'm glad you think that way.)

"Raizen, shut up for five minutes before I tell you you're being an idiot and make you cry!" Mukuro growled.

The other demon gave her a blank look. "...Meow?"

"Raizen, you're being an idiot."

"Waaah!" Raizen started to cry. "MUKURO YOU'RE MEAN!"

"Indeed. Hermione from Harry Potter will hear about this!" Yomi plopped on a random chair.

"Whatever." Mukuro was about to touch the jar when Yusuke appeared out of nowhere.

"So you're interested in my great granfather's crystallized fungus?" Yusuke asked, making it sound like more of a statement.

The redhead (It still looks more like a brown to me but I haven't watched it in a while. My sis probably doesn't like YYH because it's not a shounen ai. Can't watch right now... Damn homework...) ran away.

"You can run but you can't hide! I have the Demon Compass!" (Raizen laughed. "Yusuke's a genie!")

"Lemme see that!" Hiei snatched the fungus from Yusuke. "How do you use it?"

"You wish on it," Yusuke answered.

"Chee- yah." (I can't believe I had him say that.)

Raised eyebrow. "Alrighty then..."

"You probably won't be able to touch your girlfriend for a week after this."

"I don't have one."

"Like, totally, whatever."

"Are you feeling alright?"

Yusuke started to laughed insanely.

Hiei dropped the fungus and ran away.

**That night... (This won't have anything to do with our problem...)**

"Hiei! Hey, Hiei!"

Hiei looked down from his tree. "Wha...? Yusuke."

"Uhhh... I'm running away. Can I stay with you for a couple of days?"

"Do you have your fungus?"

"Lemme check... No."

"'Kay." A few hours pass. Hiei started to drool...

(This might gross some people out.) Drip! Drip! Yusuke growled because he was woken out of a sound sleep. He looked up at the sleeping koorime, who was still sleeping soundly. He wiped the saliva off his forhead and climbed up the tree. He shoved a cork into Hiei's mouth and fell back asleep.

Hiei twitched and tossed and turned. He spat the cork out. "Spiders!" He smashed Yusuke with a rock."Spiders!" Smash. "Spiders!" Smash. "Getemoffme!" Smash. "Getemoffme!" Smash. "Getemoffme!"

Yusuke ran away. It was silent and Yusuke fell asleep.

"Spidersgetemoffgetemoffgetoff!" Hiei smashed Yusuke with a rock again.

_o.o Remind me never to stay with him again..._

**The next day...**

"Moving day for Shuichi. If he really does leave, then I'll be the top student at Meio High and not the second..." Kaitou mumbled.

"NOOO! He was sexy!" Shigure screamed. (I thought you were too sexy for this fanfic, Shigure.)

"Me and Suzuka spent the whole night making one thousand paper cranes..." Shishi commented.

"It's the _Beautiful_ Suzuka," Suzuka growled. He held up papercutted hands. "I don't want him to go..."

Kuronue sighed sorrowfully. "We were partners for hundreds of years and we met a few months ago... I'm losing him again. Without Kurama, I have no reason to wander in the Realm of the Living..."

"A world with Kurama is a horrible one indeed..." Karasu whined.

"This is it then..." Mokuro (Yes I know I spelled her name wrong.) walked to the jar with the fungus into it. (Like there's any other jars in the office.)

"So _are_ interested..." Yusuke appeared out of nowhere.

O.o "Wha...? But you were just... And... That and... D... Da... Be?" (On another planet, that would be real speech.)

"Let me see it," Hiei said.

"Hold on. We gotta ask the magic eight ball. Is Hiei worthy of the fungus, friend? Yes? Go ahead."

"Okay fungus... I wish for... I wish for... I wish..." Insert the sound of old wheels creaking. "I...Oh... I need a new brain..."

**Intermission!**

Due to techincal difficulties, you'll have to wait a while...

Long silence.

Insert dancing koala.

**End intermission. Back to your Yu Yu hakusho program.**

"I wish for... A volcano!" Hiei cried.

"Ugh!" Everyone growled. Anime fall.

"HIEI OMG WTF!" Mukuro growled. (Indeed.)

"You know you love volcanoes!"

"But you should've used the wish to get Kurama to stay!" Raizen added to Mukuro's comment.

"You dumb ass!" Yomi smacked him on the head with a bat.

Suddenly, Kurama burst into the room. "Everyone! Turn on the news!" (That sounds hard...)

Jin stared. "Wha...?"

"Hurry!" (He didn't say "Please hurry." He meant it like "HURRY DAMN IT!")

Jin turned the TV on.

"Hello. This is Koto," Koto said on the news.

"And this is Juri," Juri said.

"And no one cares. We have breaking news. The island of Okinawa has suddenly disappeared due to a volcano but everyone there is suddenly on the island of Kyushu."

"This person got bored, didn't they?" (Yes I did!)

"Shut up!" Hiss. "Anyway. On the island of Honshu, somehow a volcano appeared and destroyed an insane group of girls in the Kurama fanclub. Juri, what do you have to say about this?"

"...I hate you."

Long silence. "How did I get stuck with you...? Tune in at six to heard the same thing!"

Jin turned the TV off. "I hate CEenen since they started reporting... Jin hates the news."

Silence.

"So that means... (Dramatic pause) I'm not moving! I get to stay in Tokyo!" Kurama said cheerfully.

"Oh kick ass!" Yusuke cheered. (I don't get it either.)

"Hiei, you bastard! You kept our sanity here!" Mukuro added.

Everyone turned to Yana, who was picking his nose whil hammering a sandwich to a wall.

Yomi shook his head.

"How'd you know...?" Raizen asked.

"Oh, I have my sources..." Hiei said, as if he were plotting.

"You son of a bitch!" Yusuke hugged him. (Enough with cussing at him!)

"Don't... Touch me..."

Mukuro platted him on the head.

Shura kicked Hiei in the shins. "I hate you!"

Chu broke a glass of beer on Shura's head. "PARTY!"

**Ten PM that day...**

_That was like a farwell party at the office..._

"Well, everyone... On this note... We've celebrated today not only Kurama's stay, but also my resignation," Yusuke announced.

"You're resigning!" Snout gasped.

"What the hell do you think, dick nose!"

Snout cried.

"Well, yeah... It's been fun... WE've all been through a lot together... And there's been a lot of memories we can hold onto... Yukina stealing stuff, Puu and Keiko, Shiori, Aya, Kuronue, makeup, Amanuma, the Toguro brothers, Shigure's novel, Raizen, my gel, Mukuro, Yomi, being kidnapped, nasdal spray, Penny/Heion, anime conventions... Being depressed... I didn't want it to end... (Your depression!)"

"This is our end. Together at last..." Kurama added.

"So now, I'm going out with a bang!" Yusuke fired a Spirit Gun at the sky and shot down a plane. "Oops..."

Kuwabara put in a Journey CD.

Rinku frowned and put in the YYH soundtrack.

"I'll see ya'll later!"

Everyone cheered.

"This is it? This is the end!" Hiei gasped.

"Yeah..." Shigure replied, only to get lit on fire. "I'm too sexy to burn!"

"The end is here!" Kurama said.

"That's a big end!" Kuwabara gasped.

"Wanna watch a magic trick?" Karasu asked Amanuma who shook his head. Karasu sent up fireworks. "I learned that this morning!"

"Out with a Bang!" Yusuke waved.

_Goodbye and Good luck, Friends._

_-The End-_

Suzuka: That's it! No topless scene?  
Suzaku: No Ryuichi?

Notes:  
1. To Serve Man?- It's a cookbook! Twilight Zone reference.  
2. Edward, Winry, Al?- From Fullmetal Alchemist.  
3. Koto? Juri?- The announcers at the Dark Tournament. Koto was the fox, cat girl. Juri was the... Fish?

To tell you the truth, I was gonna end it after the kidnapping but I didn't want to let the fanfic go. I really wanted to keep going but it feels like my sanity has gone out the door. I hope you like reading this to the end. (Of course I understand if you skipped some chapters like six or seven...) I'll see you in my next fanfic.

My next fic will be "Ride Like the Wind". Oddly enough, it becomes shounen ai (on accident, mind you!) after I got inspiration from a pic I saw at photobucket. Well, that won't shopw up for a while. I'll come up with something random. 'Til then... Don't stop believing. Good night!


End file.
